Higher expectations

I have been thinking a lot lately about the expectations we have or don't have for ourselves, our children, our family, our churches, and our society in general. Does it ever occur to anyone else out there that we are shortchanging ourselves in all of those areas?

I began thinking about this a couple of months ago when we took Annalivia and Daniel to their doctor for Annalivia's 2 year checkup and Daniel's 2 month check. It was about an hour past Annalivia's regular naptime and her behavior was, I thought, attrocious. She kept playing with the examining table, going through the diaper bag, running back and forth between me and the door... I was really very embarrassed.

At the end of the visit, our doctor told me that Annalivia was a very well-behaved child. I laughed out loud thinking that she was being sarcastic. She wasn't. It turns out that compared to most 2 year olds she sees, Annalivia's behavior was good. She was complimenting me on having an only partial-hellion on my hands.

In the past few months, well-meaning friends have attempted to comfort me regarding my parenting failures. One dear one asked, "Did you children eat today? Are they sitting in their own filth? Have any of them been beaten lately? No? You're doing fine."

In one way this beloved was correct. On most days, I am doing fine. The problem is, I don't want to settle for "fine". I want to do "well". I want do "faithful".

And frankly, I think that this is what my faith in Jesus is asking me to do. I personally think that, as Christians, we have settled for a lot of compromises in what we expect from ourselves and others in the name of Grace. It is not good enough to raise kids who don't rob the liquor store. It's not good enough to create a family that doesn't fall apart at some point. It's not good enough to pastor a church who doesn't spend over the budget or doesn't fight or doesn't do whatever it is that means a church is a failure. I think the life of a Christ-follower is to a higher calling than that.

And further, I think that we settle for lots because we don't want to feel a little icky about ourselves and our accomplishments or lack thereof. And we don't want others to feel uncomfortable about themselves and their accomplishments, or, ahem... the lack thereof. And I wonder if that's really the tactic we should take? I mean, please, please, please -- let's communicate that God always, always offers love and forgiveness to his children -- but let's also communicate that honoring God's work in our lives, claiming Christ as our Savior, means that we have to strive a little higher, work a little harder, be a little better than whatever it was we accepted from ourselves previously. (Yes, I said, "be a little better." I meant it.) I don't think that striving to attain high standards means we need to stand around spirtually, emotionally or physically flogging ourselves when we don't attain the prayed-for goal. In fact, we probably need to recognize that most of the time, we won't actually get where we are trying to head and at the same time continue to head in that direction as hard as we can.

I think it's time that we ask ourselves and others around us, in relationship and fellowship with us, for more. Yes, we cling to grace. Grace is the only thing that will allow us to do that which is beyond ourselves. And I really believe new life in Christ calls us beyond ourselves, and certainly beyond most standards expressed in the commons these days. We must press on, not in arrogance but in dependence on the love of Jesus to focus and sustain us. Probably all of this can be said much better here...

"So let's keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us. If any of you have something else in mind, something less than total commitment, God will clear your blurred vision - you'll see it yet! Now that we're on the right track, let's stay on it. Stick with me, friends. Keep track of those you see running this same course, headed for this same goal. There are many out there taking other paths, choosing other goals, and trying to get you to go along with them. I've warned you of them many times; sadly, I'm having to do it again. All they want is easy street. They hate Christ's Cross. But easy street is a dead-end street. Those who live there make
their bellies their gods; belches are their praise; all they can think of is their appetites. But there's far more to life for us. We're citizens of high heaven! We're waiting the arrival of the Savior, the Master, Jesus Christ, who will transform our earthy bodies into glorious bodies like his own. He'll make us beautiful and whole with the same powerful skill by which he is putting everything as it should be, under and around him."

Philippians 3: 15-21 from The Message