08 February 2015

Chantilly Lace

A few weeks ago, I made a finger-knitted blanket for the little girl we are expecting in 9 weeks. I folded it up when I was done and put it on her dresser on which a satin box used by my grandmother to hold her gloves was sitting. 

Today I got the blanket out to show my mother-in-law, and very clearly caught the scent of Chantilly Lace, the perfume Grammy used to wear. I had never noticed that the box smelled of her perfume, but on the blanket the scent was obvious.  

This pregnancy has been hard. Not physically but emotionally.  There's been a lot of grief over "what wasn't" when I was pregnant with Elora and a lot of fear over "what could be" with this little one.  It's been overwhelming sometimes and sometimes I am just very afraid. 

Today was one of those days. But when I caught that whiff of Grammy's perfume it was like a little kiss from my grandmother. My heart sang a little. I felt a surreal sense of peace and a reminder that, come what may, Baby Girl and I are "held" right now and will be in the future, too. It was a gift. A gift from beyond. 

Thank you, Grammy.