31 October 2006

A "booo"tiful night

Wow, I had a lot of fun tonight! The more I think about our little Halloween extravaganza, the more I realize how much fun it was! It was freezing -- literally, I think -- but fun! We had some great hotdogs (we gave away all but 7 including the 2 that visitors dropped on the ground) and the hot cider was a big success. We saw a lot of neighbors, most of whom expressed thanks for our recovery post-accident and many said we had been in their prayers, which was just lovely. We got to see the little three-month old baby of a neighbor girl who is just a child herself; she brought her daughter out specifically to see us. We got to talk with some kids from the housing project on the corner and find out a little bit more about them. We got to see some cousins -- Dennis' brother and kids stopped by and that was fun. In fact, Annalivia got to interact with lots of little ones without leaving the driveway and for two mostly immobile parents, that was grand. And most of all, we just got to be good neighbors, which, sadly, we do not practice often enough.
So -- I'm already thinking about next year's Halloween hot dog event and how we will make it more hospitable. It's such an inexpensive way to make contact with folks. Ballpark Franks were $.99/ pkg and buns were $.89. Throw in two gallons of cider and we're up to less than $10. And it was just so nice to do something focused just a little tiny ways beyond ourselves. So nice.


Here we are -- the King and Queen and their little pet Unicorn. See how much fun we had?

30 October 2006

Happy Halloween!!


Tomorrow night we are going to be out in our driveway where we have bales of straw set up along with some festive pumpkins, grilling hot dogs, sipping cider, and passing out food and candy to congregants and neighbors who happen to trip by the parsonage. If any of you are around, feel free to stop by, too! A little unicorn will be very happy to see you!

25 October 2006

My marital lie

The news of my sister's impending nuptials has brought to the forefront some thinking I've been doing about marriage and relationships. See, as a pastor, I'm in the position to impart wisdom about marriage to all sorts of folks, most of whom don't realize that I don't have any business imparting wisdom to anyone.
Anyway, one of the things that I usually tell these young, impressionable folks is that marriage is hard; it takes love and patience and work and compromise. It's not to be taken lightly, I tell them. It's a high calling and probably the most important human relationship a person will ever have. And while I agree with most of that, I've realized that I always lead off this conversation with a lie.
"Marriage is hard." That's my lie. And while I realize that for some folks marriage can be hard, for me, that statement is a falsehood. Because if there's one thing in my life that's expressly not difficult, it's my marriage. Working with an 80 year old church, forgiving my congregants when I feel hurt, working up energy to get to the grocery store when we need milk... that's hard work. Being married to Dennis Stewart is not in the least bit hard.
Now maybe this is because I married an incredibly patient, considerate, thoughtful, attentive, flexible, and did-I-mention "patient" man. It's so good that one of us is all of those things, because I've never had to work, let alone hard, to be married to him. Yes, I've had to compromise and care and re-frame and re-focus. But work? Nah....
In fact, the hardest thing about being married, is that I happen to be in a marriage wherein I am an integral part. The hardest thing about marriage for me is putting up with me! Working with my thoughts and fears and desires and agenda... that's what's been hard. This marriage would be a complete cakewalk for me were it not me in it! You know what I mean, yes?
So. I've decided that I'm going to quit telling people that marriage is hard work. I'm going to start telling them that it may be hard work, but that, in my opinion, most of the hard stuff should be applied to themselves.
Because as far as I've experienced, marriage is just wonderful. Divinely wonderful through and through. And I'd be lying if I said it wasn't.

24 October 2006

Holiday hurrahs and hyperventilations

About three weeks ago, I began to get pretty excited about the upcoming holidays. I think it was right around the time that the weather changed. Then Flylady started her Holiday Cruise and I brought up from the basement my control journal that I filled in AFTER the holidays last year. I was excited to get it all going, but I have to confess that I haven't put a whole lot of effort into it yet.
Well, now I have motivation. My beloved sistah, Marissa/ Roo, who is #2 in the McClure-girl lineup, is getting married to soon-to-be-beloved soon-to-be-brother-in-law, Matt!! HURRAH!!! Thing is -- they are probably getting married on Dec. 23. That's Saturday, Dec. 23. That's Saturday Dec. 23, before Sunday Dec. 24. That's Saturday Dec. 23 before Sunday Dec. 24 which is Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve -- big day for pastors, let alone when it falls on Sunday and said pastors will be 34 weeks pregnant with a fairly complicated pregnancy. Hyperventilations.
So. It's going to be important... nay, crucial and essential that the holiday be brilliantly coordinated.
Which will be a huge change for me. I always have great intentions at this time of year, and by the time Christmas eve rolls around, I am still at church for 12 hours, running out to Wal-Mart at 3 p.m., finishing up Christmas presents at midnight, and going to bed far too late.
This year, it just has to be different. Has to be. Thank goodness for Flylady. Now I actually need to do the work to get it all together.

22 October 2006

A very fine day and notes on being an aspiring domestic

We had a great early day here at Casa McStew! Just great. And all because we actually functioned like normal people.
The day technically started while we were in bed, but our day started at 4:30 a.m. when I got up to use the restroom, thereby waking Dennis up, and neither of us could get back to sleep. For some reason, Annalivia hadn't awakened at all, so we both figured that the reason we were awake was because we'd actually gotten six hours of good sleep and since we function on about four hours decent sleep and another five of toddler-in-bed-exercising-her-diggy-toes sleep normally, our bodies were just confused. We thought perhaps we should get up, but instead we just lay there and talked about Christmas gift-giving until we were tired enough to go back to sleep.
Anyway, Annalivia slept til 5:30, then came into our room and slept for a little more than two more hours. We got up at 8 and got ready for church and all of us actually went to church for the first time since our accident.
And church was wonderful! For some reason, lots of folks were there including one of our college students home for a visit. Dennis' sister visited from Chicago this weekend and was a big help to Dennis with Annalivia. My sermon was really good, if I do say so myself; I'm finishing up a series I called Christian Basics 101 and today's topic was Forgiveness. Folks liked it and it was actually meaningful, which is just a nice combo, you know?
Anyway, after church, we went to breakfast at our neighborhood diner with Dennis' mom and sister and that was only minorly painful with an antsy toddler. Then we went to Sears and Dennis got an incredible deal on a floor model scroll saw that he's been wanting forever. When we got home, Annalivia was asleep and she took a pretty good nap.
And this evening, I tried my hand at making fried chicken. For some reason, the ability to make consistently good, tender, moist and flavorful fried chicken is one of my great aspirations as a domestic. I don't know why. I just want to be able to make delicious fried chicken.
Tonight's experiment was more of a success than previous attempts, but I'm not really satisfied with it. A woman in my church makes THE BEST fried chicken ever. It falls of the bone, is crispy and full of flavor. It's amazing. She doesn't ever just give out the recipe, so I have to quiz her every once in a while with pointed questions, i.e. "Do you marinate your fried chicken in anything?" So far I've found out that she fries it and then cooks it in this special pan with an open mesh screen and she fills the bottom of the pan with water, which she thinks keeps the chicken moist.
Tonight I tried it, but I think I need to cook it for a lot longer and maybe at a lower temp than 350. Next time I'm going to try to soak it in buttermilk for a while, even though Gerri doesn't do that to hers and then double dip it. I've also realized that it needs the skin.
Anyway, my poor husband is going to be eating fried chicken every time there is a sale on thighs and drumsticks. Someday I'll get the hang of this fried chicken stuff. By then, everyone will probably be sick of my fried chicken. But at least I'll know that I know how to make it!
So. Thus ends the report. It's been a good day -- a very, very good day.

20 October 2006

Friday Five: Word association

Five random words provided by the RevGals and my associations and some considered thoughts on why:

Whirlwind: Romance -- which, in my opinion, is the only way to have it. I told Dennis I was marrying him within the first two weeks. It's been bliss so far.

Foundation: Stone -- although the visual image in my mind was a keystone of an arch.

Lightning: Storm -- boring.

Den: Davenport -- as in "Grampa is in the den napping on the davenport" aka couch, sofa,

Prey
: Birds o' -- and the visual image of this is my sistah Marissa and her excited expression as a sixth grader when she was particularly fond of spotting birds of prey on drives and I'd point out spots on the windshield as stunning examples. I've never been very good with animals.

16 October 2006

Relief

We just received word today, almost four weeks after our accident, that the police report is finally complete and names the southbound vehicle as the culpible party. Now we can refer the hospital and anesthesiologists and surgeons and therapists and supply providers and other miscellaneous doctors to that driver's insurance. I don't think I can describe the relief this brings, so I won't try. Suffice to say, we are relieved. Very, very relieved.

15 October 2006

A Pastor's Prayer

O gracious Spirit, I come before Thee.
Renew my heart, I pray.
When I seek Thee, do not stand far from me.
Come and fill me this day.

Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart
Be acceptable in Thy sight
Empty me of my incompetence
Fill me with Thy glory and might.

Let those who see me not see me,
but instead see the Son.
For it is in Thy name and by Thy power
that I pray these things will be done. Amen.

14 October 2006

Clairvoyant Clergy: A brief rant

For some reason, every few months, my congregation conducts a highly un-scientific experiment to determine whether I am, in fact, not clairvoyant. Generally these experiments occur randomly, and I don't think they ever occur consciously, but I have noticed that they also seem to be scheduled for times of absence i.e. vacation, maternity leave, emergency care from a serious motor vehicle accident...
Today, I found out almost completely by accident and almost entirely by my own initiative ("almost" because I assume the Spirit is at work in this...) that a member of my congregation is in the hospital and has been there since Tuesday and that he is dying and that a group of 20 women in a Bible study knew about this Wednesday, including my mother-in-law, and though five (5!!) people called the prayer chain captain to tell her about it, everyone -- said mother-in-law, said prayer chain captain, the three elders sitting in the bible study -- all just assumed someone else would let April know. How does one explain that to a grieving wife and children? "Uhhh....yeah... I know that everyone else knew this and that you've been getting card and calls for the last four days and that an elder has been to visit, but I didn't know about it..."
Also at this time, one of our guys has suffered a stroke, another fell, a woman has had surgery and another has had a heart attack. Five people in various hospitals all over northern Illinois. Guess who didn't know these things either?
And it's not as though we don't have a system/ systems in place. It's just that by mass unspoken agreement, the decision is made not to use the systems, and -- voila! Ignorant pastor and congregation wondering why April isn't showing up.
Ugh. So tomorrow I get to give the semi-annual, "I cannot read minds" lecture, wherein I'll remind folks that I'd rather hear something 35 times than not at all. And I will try to make up for the absence of the last few days with presence in the next, while giving stern talks to my elders who, for goodness' sake, should know better.
And I'll start preparing for the next experiment which I assume will occur during the next maternity leave. Apparently, the fact that I always fail the clairvoyance test is not a deterrent.
Though, God knows, I wish it was.

13 October 2006

Friday Five: Comfort, comfort ye, my people

With very cold and blustery sunshine-y weather and a congregant headed over this way any minute with soup and sandwiches for lunch, it's a great moment for a Comforting Friday Five from the RevGals.

1. Comfort drink
Constant Comment tea with a little bit of honey (best with shortbread, of course!)
When sick... really hot orange juice or lemonade

2. Comfort chair
I am in search of a comfort chair. We have a nice chair in our living room, but it doesn't just let one sink into it. In my sorority house, we had a great loveseat-type chair and ottoman that was perfect for homework and lounging, and probably snuggling, had I had anyone with whom to do that! I'd like a chair with that feeling someday. Actually, come to think of it, 10 years later, that chair is probably still there.
3. Comfort read
Whenever I have a chance to read for fun/ comfort, I always return to young adult fiction. Madeline L'Engle, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Trixie Belden and Nancy Drew, Lloyd Alexander, Narnia, Harry Potter...

4. Comfort television/dvd/ music
Well, we watch Intolerable Cruelty every few weeks and I love an Alias marathon whenever possible, but I'm not sure that's for comfort. Comfort music is mainly classical -- Bach's Mass in B Minor, or Rachmoninoff Piano Concertos, or Palestrina, or Vaughn Williams' Tallis. Hymns in a church with a marvelous organ and people actually singing -- that's the ultimate comfort music, to me.

5. Comfort companions
Most of the time, my sweet big love and my sweet little love. Other times, my sistahs. Sometimes my seminary friends. Sometimes my oldest friend, Trina, and a cup of coffee. And a shortbread. Shortbread makes everything more comfortable.
Anyone else want to play? You don't have to be a revgal! Let me know if you do.

12 October 2006

A heartbreaking loss

I just received word that beloved Jenna's little boy, Ezra Lee, was born today at 19 weeks gestation, and did not survive.
Will you please pray for Jenna and her family? They had longed and prayed for this little one, struggled with the possibility of losing him, and have been through more than I can imagine.
My heart is breaking for this family this evening. I pray for a deep peace and comfort that can only come from Jesus. Hold them tightly, Lord, and don't let them go.

First snow!

Today, when Annalivia and I awoke, (we slept late -- hurrah!) we arose to a gorgeous day of blue sky spotted with clouds and a fine dusting of snow on the ground! We had French Toast casserole and cafe au lait and were very thankful for our warm house and beds. What a lovely way to wake up!

11 October 2006

Our latest progress report

Well, lots has happened since last Tuesday...
On Friday, we went back to our surgeon's office and got regular sized casts on our arms. After the accident and our surgeries, we had massive surgical splints on our arms that reached from our elbows to the first joint of our fingers. No clothes fit over them and it was impossible to do anything at all. However, they did provide a lot of stability, which we needed.
On Friday, the folks at Rockford Orthopedic took off the crazy Popeye casts and we got matching black casts. The feeling of having nothing around our wrists was akin to some sort of vertigo. Poor Dennis was really hurting as they had to bend his wrist and fingers all around. But now my fingers are out and I can sort of do a lot of things. Dennis has three fingers available and the best thing is that we can both move our elbows, so sleeping is a lot more comfortable.
We were alone for the weekend and it went well. I did a wedding rehearsal on Friday night and a wedding on Saturday night, which was really quite nice. The couple being married are about my age -- 30 and 31 -- and really wanted to do the whole thing right. They did the counseling, read the books, took the quizzes, and above all, wanted to make sure that their relationship with each other incorporated their love for God from the very beginning. It was one of the best weddings I've ever seen. Really lovely.
On Sunday, I went to church. Dennis and Annalivia stayed home. Church was good, though there were probably half the folks there than usual. I felt like I was garnering a lot of pity by explaining why I wouldn't be driving much this week or preaching very long sermons for the next few weeks or hugging folks after the services, but in church, I've found that it's better to err on the side of communicating too much than not enough. Anyway, church went well, my short sermon was really really good, if I do say so myself, and I was WORN OUT afterwards.
On Monday, Mom came up to help out and she really was a HUGE help. She just does things, you know? And we had a surprise when my sister, Lillia, and her daughter, Cleya, came to visit. Cleya is 3 and Annalivia is fascinated by her. Annalivia had a great time following her around and Cleya was so patient with her. And Lil and I got to go through Annalivia's baby clothes. Lillia and her husband, Jake, are expecting baby #2 about three weeks before Littler McStew is due and baby Hartter is a girl. I am excited to get to share the ridiculous amount of clothes that Annalivia wore as a winter baby with my new niece.
Yesterday, Tuesday, because Mom was here, I got to go and get my hair cut, which was the first time in about five months. I was pretty shaggy. It's amazing how much better a haircut can help one to feel!
Today, without visitors and on a cloudy, cold day, we had a really great day! Dennis made a wonderful omelette for breakfast for all of us and we all ate around the table. Annalivia has taken to sitting on one of the regular chairs and was making both of us laugh til we cried. Then I got to go back to sleep after breakfast, which was amazing. When Annalivia went down for a nap, Dennis and I cleaned up and moved stuff that had been rearranged to accomodate the wheelchair back to original positions. So tonight we have a clean house and we were able to get rid of papers and put away things and things feel about as normal as they have since all of this occurred.
So. That's our big update. We continue to get better. And for all of these things, we are very, very grateful!

Our latest progress report

Well, lots has happened since last Tuesday...
On Friday, we went back to our surgeon's office and got regular sized casts on our arms. After the accident and our surgeries, we had massive surgical splints on our arms that reached from our elbows to the first joint of our fingers. No clothes fit over them and it was impossible to do anything at all. However, they did provide a lot of stability, which we needed.
On Friday, the folks at Rockford Orthopedic took off the crazy Popeye casts and we got matching black casts. The feeling of having nothing around our wrists was akin to some sort of vertigo. Poor Dennis was really hurting as they had to bend his wrist and fingers all around. But now my fingers are out and I can sort of do a lot of things. Dennis has three fingers available and the best thing is that we can both move our elbows, so sleeping is a lot more comfortable.
We were alone for the weekend and it went well. I did a wedding rehearsal on Friday night and a wedding on Saturday night, which was really quite nice. The couple being married are about my age -- 30 and 31 -- and really wanted to do the whole thing right. They did the counseling, read the books, took the quizzes, and above all, wanted to make sure that their relationship with each other incorporated their love for God from the very beginning. It was one of the best weddings I've ever seen. Really lovely.
On Sunday, I went to church. Dennis and Annalivia stayed home. Church was good, though there were probably half the folks there than usual. I felt like I was garnering a lot of pity by explaining why I wouldn't be driving much this week or preaching very long sermons for the next few weeks or hugging folks after the services, but in church, I've found that it's better to err on the side of communicating too much than not enough. Anyway, church went well, my short sermon was really really good, if I do say so myself, and I was WORN OUT afterwards.
On Monday, Mom came up to help out and she really was a HUGE help. She just does things, you know? And we had a surprise when my sister, Lillia, and her daughter, Cleya, came to visit. Cleya is 3 and Annalivia is fascinated by her. Annalivia had a great time following her around and Cleya was so patient with her. And Lil and I got to go through Annalivia's baby clothes. Lillia and her husband, Jake, are expecting baby #2 about three weeks before Littler McStew is due and baby Hartter is a girl. I am excited to get to share the ridiculous amount of clothes that Annalivia wore as a winter baby with my new niece.
Yesterday, Tuesday, because Mom was here, I got to go and get my hair cut, which was the first time in about five months. I was pretty shaggy. It's amazing how much better a haircut can help one to feel!
Today, without visitors and on a cloudy, cold day, we had a really great day! Dennis made a wonderful omelette for breakfast for all of us and we all ate around the table. Annalivia has taken to sitting on one of the regular chairs and was making both of us laugh til we cried. Then I got to go back to sleep after breakfast, which was amazing. When Annalivia went down for a nap, Dennis and I cleaned up and moved stuff that had been rearranged to accomodate the wheelchair back to original positions. So tonight we have a clean house and we were able to get rid of papers and put away things and things feel about as normal as they have since all of this occurred.
So. That's our big update. We continue to get better. And for all of these things, we are very, very grateful!

03 October 2006

The balance changes

Today we got to get out of the house and head over to Dixon to my OB for an ultrasound and appointment.
While we were there, we got to see some great pictures of .... our son!
That's right!! Littler McStew is apparently of the male variety, totally and completely shocking his mother and father. I don't know why, but I was quite sure that was a little girl in there. So much for that.
Anyway, we saw our little boy and right now all looks good on the ultrasounds. Since the accident, our perspectives on this genetic testing have changed a lot. Before it seemed unthinkable to not know for sure. Now it seems most important that we know we are all alive.
So we're preceding a little differently. Since we knew we would not terminate regardless of the test outcomes, we've decided to wait to do the amnio. My abdomen absorbed considerable blunt trauma in the accident and it needs time to heal. Hence we will continue to get monthly or bi-monthly growth scans and if anything worrisome appears, we'll get the amnio. Otherwise we'll wait 'til 32 weeks or so, since 32 weeks is on Christmas day. This way we'll still have the info going into labor and delivery and minimize any risks to baby. And me, I suppose.
The only odd thing is that I feel like we will be holding back a little part of ourselves and our possible excitement til that amnio gives us definitive answers. But we'll deal with that. We are all here -- Daddy, Mommy, big sister and baby boy.... a baby boy!!! (how crazy is that?)
For now we'll focus on enjoying all of this.