The plan

So a woman with whom Dennis went to high school called his mother today to find out his new address so that he could be invited to his 20th reunion next year. His mother, being the nation's most stalwart privacy advocate, did not give out the information, but the whole episode led us to discuss how we were both having class reunions next year.

Me: You know, perhaps we should use this as the reason to go on a big diet and become fabulous.

Dennis: (pauses) Or.... (dramatic pause) if not, we should hire actors who can play us.

Imaginary Classmate to hired actor (voiced by Dennis): Dennis, you've changed a lot. I don't remember you being black...