Resolutions- the 90 day version

I love the first of the year, and while I wish I were evolved enough to join the trend toward not-making resolutions, I also love this particular tradition, even though I've never actually fulfilled a resolution in my entire life. :)

This year, I thought I'd get fancy and try my resolutions in 90-day chunks. Dennis recently had a fabulous success in reading the New Testament in the 90 days before Advent, and it inspired both of us to "think small" when it comes to big changes in life. So here's what I (and Dennis, too, actually) will be doing in some 90-day chunks in the near future...
-Reading the Bible in 90 days ( a la biblegateway.com - it's delivered to our smart phones, which makes reading throughout the day pretty manageable!)
-Joining Weight Watchers online (after I'm cleared by my doc @ my 6 week appt.) and following the plan (again, the accessibility through our phones is just awesome)
- Joining e-mealz.com and cooking at home, mostly (we did lots of eating-out in Dec.)
-Sticking to a written budget ( we sort of got lazy w/ this during the move and near Peter's birth/hospitalization, etc.)
and most important...
- Making time several times throughout the day to give kisses and hugs to the kiddos (it's embarrassing to admit, but my kids are usually so good to each toher and me that, if I'm not careful, I find myself reacting only to negative behavior. My mom suggested setting a timer and having a hug-and-kiss break every hour or so, and it has been a big help. Again, I'm embarrassed that it slips my mind to do it without help, but this is working for us!)
Anyway, those are the things in the works for the next 90-ish days for us. I'm going to keep telling myself when I want to get off-track, "It's
only 90 days!"

We'll see how it goes!

That Peter was sure smart...

Lately I've been finding so much wisdom in Peter's letters. I love how I can read or hear a Scripture over and over again and then, suddenly, it appears, as though brand new, before me! Bread of Life, indeed...

“Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care; serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.” ~ 1 Peter 5:2-4

On truth and the search for it

In my previous life as student-of-the-liberal-church, I spent a lot of my time figuring out what I didn't have to believe about the Bible. Historical, social, or economic contexts, textual errors, authorship disputes, interpretive lenses and so on and so forth, blah blah blah.

I have mentioned before that when I was in seminary, I won an award for a very tight, well-constructed theology project. It was incredible, if I do say so myself. Everything in that paper fit together like puzzle pieces in a well-crafted frame.

It was crap.

Really.

When it came down to it, that which I had constructed was just...me. There wasn't any real depth or substance, wonder, mystery, etc. There was a small box and I filled all of it. No room for Jesus. No room for the Spirit. No room for the Creator-of-all-things.

Just. me.

I am at the point now where I no longer want to think about what may or may not be believable. I just believe that the Word is True. All of it.

I know some will think that is feeble-minded or that it is the "easy" way out. I would have thought that.

But I hadn't actually read the words then. And I hadn't had a real glimpse of the power of Jesus.

It's True. I don't know how, but it is.

That's all.

That's enough.

"If you believe in the Gospel what you like, and reject what you don't like, it is not the Gospel you believe, but yourself." ~Augustine (a pretty smart guy)
Thanks, Roo, for the quote.

In process

I have learned, in whatsoever state I am,

therewith to be content. ~Philippians 4:11

He who takes delight

Do you ever think of God as One who delights in you?

For me, it isn't too hard to think of God as loving me, even unconditionally. But that God likes me? Really, truly likes me? That he enjoys my company, smiles at my little jokes, feels exceedingly proud of my successes... that just blows my mind.

And as I think about what I communicate to my children about God, it occurs to me that it is critically important to convey not only His love and provision and mercy, but also His great delight in us.

The Lord your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
~Zephaniah 3:17 (NIV)

Guarding and unguarding my thoughts

I've encountered a life-changing read this Lent in the book, A Hole in Our Gospel by Richard Stearns, president of World Vision. It is a compelling, challenging book for Christians. It is a compelling, challenging book for me.

I have been processing the book at the same time that our pastor has begun a sermon series on our thought lives. The basis of his sermon series is this passage from Romans 12 "I beseech ye, brethren, by the mercies of God that ye prepare your bodies a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (pardon -- I have the KJV memorized and it never sounds right to me unless in this version).

As our pastor has pointed out, scripture is clear here that disciplining our thoughts brings us into alignment with the will of God. He talked about how important it is to choose to expose our minds and, thus, our spirits to things that build us up and encourage us to be holy. And, of course, I thought about tv shows and songs and other media (like the internet *ahem*). I thought about what a huge difference it makes in my life to filter the things which influence me. And I thought about how, a year ago or so, I decided to listen to sacred music most of the time and how much that has changed what goes through my head throughout the day. I love the snippets of scripture that appear with melodies at odd moments. The echoes are just lovely.

But while processing my reaction to the earthquake in Haiti, especially through the lens of "the hole" in my gospel, I've realized that while God wants me to guard my thoughts when it comes to those things I seek out to entertain me, that God wants me to unguard my thoughts when it comes to the suffering of others. I am finding that to participate in the grandeur of self-focused thought refinement without applying the exercise to the world beyond is so...hollow. It is "the hole," I guess. And I have realized that the desire to live an insular existence is not a holy desire. I've thought about how many of us will gladly watch CSI or, heck, MYSTERY on PBS or will expose ourselves to all manner of crazy, violent thoughts and dissonant behavior, but won't watch the news or look at pictures of a disaster or read statistics of suffering or even discuss the presence of evil in the world. Being careful not to see the news does not mean that the news doesn't happen.

So, while being called to set my mind on things above, I've been being reminded to open my eyes and see -- really see-- this world God loves.

Thus, my prayer this Lent has been two-fold. First --"May the meditations of my heart be acceptable in your sight, O Lord, my Rock and my Reedemer." And, I've been praying the prayer of Bob Pierce, World Vision's founder, "Let my heart be broken by the things that break the heart of God."

Whatsoever things are LOVELY

I thought it interesting that the word we translate "lovely" is only used right here in the New Testament. It means "acceptable" or "pleasing", but I've always thought of it as "beautiful" and when I think of beautiful things in the Bible, I think of many gorgeous word pictures in the scriptures. So here are some that I'll be pondering today...

1. How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!" (Is. 52:7)

2. Many waters cannot quench love; neither can the floods drown it (Song of Songs 8:7)

3. I will lift my eyes up to the hills; from whence shall my help come? My help comes only from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth (Ps. 121)

4. The Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words (Romans 8:26)

Whatsoever things are PURE

Yesterday was Annalivia's birthday. In addition to thinking about that happy event 5 (FIVE!!!) years ago, I was thinking on these things...

1. God's pure gift God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him shall not perish, but shall have everlasting life (Jn. 3:16)

2. Jesus' pure gift Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. (Jn 15:13)

3. The Spirit's pure gift But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Gal 5:22-23a)

Whatsoever things are RIGHT

I've had such a great time doing some in-depth study on this passage and these words. The word translated "right" in many translations is also translated "just" in others. It is used to describe "righteousness" far more than in other ways and that's what Dennis and I ended up pondering last night. It took us a while to come up with scriptures using "right" or "righteousness". But here is what we're pondering today...

1. Righteousness is a gift from God "He leads me in paths of righteousness for His name's sake" Ps. 23:3b

2. Righteousness fulfills "Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied" Mt. 5:6

3. Righteousness protects "Stand firm, therefore, having girded your loins with truth, and having put on the breastplate of righteousness..." Eph. 6:14

4. Righteousness takes courage "The righteous one shall live by faith" Rom. 1:17b

Whatsoever things are NOBLE

The Greek word translated "noble" in the NIV means "worthy of respect". Here are those things on which we will be thinking today...

1. God is Creator of the universe "In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth" Gen 1.1

2. God is Creator of me "For You created my inmost being; You knit me together in my mother's womb." Ps. 139

3. Jesus defeated death "For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death has no mastery over him." Romans 6:9

4. Jesus died for us. "For Christ died for sins once for all, the righteous for the unrighteous, to bring you to God." 1 Peter 3:18

5. Jesus creates us anew "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" 2 Cor. 5:17

Whatsoever things are TRUE

Four true things Dennis and I have been thinking on today...

1. God loves me. "God shows his love for us in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us." Rom. 5:8

2. God is faithful again and again. "Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The LORD is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'" Lam. 3:22-24

3. All things WILL work. "All things work together for the good of those who love the Lord and are called according to His purpose" Rom. 8:28

4. Children are a gift. "Behold, children are a gift of the LORD, the fruit of the womb a reward. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior so are the children of one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them. They will not be put to shame when they contend with their enemies in the gate." Ps. 127:3-4

Number 4 may have been targeted to a Momma stuck inside with sick children. ;)

Philippians 4:8 challenge

Today, our pastor began a sermon series on sin and his first sermon was on disciplining our thoughts. During the course of the sermon, he encouraged us to read Philippians 4:8...

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things."

He pointed out that there are seven categories of "whatsoever things" (as the KJV would say) and that there also happen to be seven days in a week. So he challenged us to assign each category to a day of the week, come up with four or five specific things under each category: true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy, and be purposeful about thinking on such things for that day.

So, we made our lists and tomorrow, we'll be thinking about four or five things that are true throughout the day. We'll see whether it changes things for us this week!

Ash Wednesday

Listening to Fernando...

All flesh is like the grass

The grass withers and fades away

The glory of man like a flower

that shrivels in the sun and falls

But the word of the Lord endures forever.

Sabbath, Queen of the week

Awhile ago, I read an article or post or something or other about how conservative and orthodox Jews sometimes refer to the Sabbath as "Queen of the Week." Many Jews try to arrange their lives to point towards the Sabbath. The Sabbath is not just the last day of the week; it is the week's crowning glory, the pinacle towards which the week is headed. As the Sabbath approaches, everything is arranged to create an atmosphere of worship and rest for the family.

I thought it sounded like a very cool concept. Then the need for a Sabbath re-focus in our family hit us about mid-summer. We had a child meltdown at a church we were visiting and ended up leaving the service early. In analyzing the situation, we realized that the week before it had been completely crazy. The Saturday day preceding the meltdown had been crazy, the night before had been awful. Even Sunday morning was ridiculous. As we drove away from church that morning, we resolved to start thinking differently about our Sundays.

So, we've been trying to arrange our lives so that Sunday is the high point of the week. We're convinced that God created the Sabbath for a very good reason. Plus, we yearn for rest, for time for the family to be together, for special moments. Sabbath is just necessary.

So far, we are doing better at the practical things. We're trying to make sure that clothes are chosen, ironed and accessorized (i.e. shoes are found) before we go to bed. We pack the church bag with Bibles and diapers. And we try to make sure that breakfast is made (I've been making overnight rolls), lunch is on board and dinner is planned on Saturday evening. I've also been making a really conscious effort to discipline my thinking on Sunday morning. For some reason, I can be really grumpy and it just poisons everyone's morning. I've noticed Annalivia has a similar tendency, so we've been talking about being an influence for good. It's helped.

But if feels as though we have a long way to go in terms of how we think about Sabbath. How do we worship more fully? How do we see the day as unique in its blessing? And practically -- how do we rest? How do we capture special moments? What can we do to communicate to our children that the Sabbath really is a precious gift?

Any thoughts -- practical or cerebral/ spiritual? Anyone feel as though you do well with this in your family? I'd love to read about it!

The Bible in church

The other big thing that has helped our new-found fascination with Scripture around here is that we have enjoyed worshiping with a church that promotes and expects one's actual, physical usage of the Bible in worship, Sunday School, Children's Church, as well as meetings.

This is new for us. We have grown up in, attended (Dennis), and pastored (me) churches that were fairly lectionary-based. The sermons were based on a lection or two, or maybe even four, but generally stuck to those readings only. Sermons typically did not reference other scriptures and line-by-line studies in worship are generally not employed by my colleagues in ministry.

The church we've been attending begins with a call to worship from the Bible, sets up the prayer with a passage, has us flipping back and forth all over scripture during a sermon, and then closes with a Scriptural benediction. I know that for some, this is distracting, but Dennis and I find it sort of thrilling.

The kids are also taught Bible stories exclusively in Sunday School and Children's Church. We've been amazed at the detail with which Annalivia recounts (and Daniel echoes Annalivia) the story of Lydia helping Paul or Paul and Silas bringing down the prison walls or just one leper/ leopard :) returning to thank Jesus, etc. The kids begin every class with a reading from the big-person's Bible. In a few weeks, the church will have a little ceremony and present Bibles to the first graders, since all of them can read and all of them remain in the church service instead of going off to Children's Church. They'll be able to participate with the adults in Bible-reading during worship, and from what I have observed, they do!

Again, all of these may not seem like big things, but for us, such practices have been absolutely liberating. And I mean that in all senses of the word. We feel free in a way we've just not experienced before.

I personally think it has everything to do with the presence and elevation of the Word of God.

Bread of Life, Living Water, Balm for the Soul, etc.

I wanted to write about something I find has radically changed my life. The introduction of it into my day has changed parenting, marriage, housekeeping, thinking, reading, even eating and driving. It has made life calmer, more peaceful, more productive and more beautiful.

It's Bible study.

Really.

I won't embarrass myself by revealing how little I have actually read the Bible (when not required) throughout my life, including during the 7 years I was a pastor. Suffice to say -- not much. In fact, it is only recently that Bible study has become a regular part of my life. And I have to say, I finally understand all of the phrases in the title of this post, as well as the others that describe the Good Book. Seriously. I HUNGER for more. I wake up in the morning eager to read the Bible! I find myself taking little moments through the day to read. I try to force myself to stay up late so I can re-read. I want to memorize scripture and have it in my head! It's amazing! After years of yearning for something more and knowing that I needed to open myself to Jesus through regular Scripture study, I've finally made it a regular part of my life. And I will testify -- there is just absolutely nothing that compares to meeting the presence of the Living Christ revealed in The Word. NOTHING!!!

I know that lots of you have always known that Bible study is a good thing and you saw folks in your family, your churches, your schools, etc. modelling Bible-reading and you might find all of this to be very elementary. But for those who are struggling, I'd like to share some things that have finally enabled this change in my life...

1. I am working on my perfectionism.
Shortly before Emmeliese was born, I realized that I was letting the Enemy use my perfectionism in all sorts of destructive ways. This is the most important change in trying to establish Bible-reading habits because there's grace in the process now. That's huge.

2. It doesn't matter what time of day I read the Bible.

For years, I struggled with Bible study because I had somehow bought into the lie that Bible reading is most effective in the morning before everything else. I somehow never managed to get up before everything else began and, being a perfectionist, decided if I couldn't do it right, I wouldn't do it at all.

3. It doesn't matter what version of the Bible I read.

I am a seminary-trained snob who knows that it would probably be best to read the Bible in some equivalent translation. But halfway through some epistle I'd find myself thinking about my walking shoes. In my perfectionism, I just ended up reading nothing. I've realized that if I am not very familiar with a passage, a timeline, or the emotion behind it, it helps me to read it first in The Message and read until I understand the basics. Then I re-read and study in the NASB. I journal in the NIV. I throw the NRSV and the NKJV in there pretty often, too.

4. Where and how I read the Bible doesn't matter.

I couldn't stick with the Lectionary and the One-Year Bible patterns. When I finally picked up the little New Testament, Psalms and Proverbs I had in The Message, I read through Acts from start to finish. Turns out I had never actually just read through it. Then I went through Romans. And then Galatians. And then on. It was exciting to actually know for sure what was in there. It was amazing to grasp Paul's passion and conviction. It was wonderful to get a sense of sequence, which is something I've never achieved just reading piece-by-peace. On the other hand, I jump around in the Psalms and sometimes in Proverbs.

5. I give myself freedom to explore more, if I want...or not

Over the past few weeks, I've been studying the Fruits of the Spirit as found in Galatians 5. I have been systematic in the approach -- looking up the Greek words, finding out where those words are used elsewhere, writing out scriptures, cross-referencing, comparing translations, etc. It's a slow process. On the other hand, a few weeks ago, I just wanted to get some info in my head about Acts. I just re-read the portions I wanted to read, quickly, in one sitting. After I'm done with the Fruits, I think I'm going to chronicle Paul's journeys on a little time-line. Yeah, I know I can find that online, but the discipline of looking things up is what I'm interested in right now. Again, for me, it is more important to be doing it, than to be doing it "correctly" every time.

6. I incorporate the kids

I don't think I would be doing any Bible study if I hadn't realized I could incorporate the kiddos into it. We read from the Psalms at breakfast, the discuss the psalm during breakfast, then after Breakfast is over and cleaned up, we all get our Bibles out. Annalivia has a Preschool Bible. Daniel has a Toddler Bible. They both have those and pads of paper and a pen in Bible covers. We all spread out our Bibles at the table. They look at their pictures and draw. I look at mine, read, and write. Annalivia and I can usually spend a good half-hour at this. Daniel is usually done in about 15-20 minutes, but as long as he's done some "studying" I let him play. It has been very helpful.

7. I don't expect to hit 100%

This is probably the biggest change. I expect that some days Emmeliese will not take a nap or will not want to be in the bouncy chair long enough to enable a long post-breakfast study. Some nights I'm too tired to read before bed. Some mornings, we do something other than Psalms before breakfast. It's all ok. There's freedom now. I've gotten a taste and I'm seeing God's goodness. I'm not going to put this down. The Word keeps calling to me. I'll keep answering it.

If you have any wisdom regarding Bible study to share, I'd love to read it!