I am at that odd point I've reached in each of my previous pregnancies when I have a lot of energy and a lot of fatigue, often at the same time. This morning, I was up at 5:15 a.m. thanks to a leg cramp, which I also get in the second and third trimester. But now that I'm awake, I can think of lots to do. The only thing that is keeping me in a darkened bedroom is the realization that if I leave this room or turn on the light, and Annalivia wakes up in the next 15 minutes, as she is wont to do, she won't go back to sleep and I'll have a very tired, fussy girl by noon. But my mind is racing and my body is willing to follow the brain for right now and engage. I should probably take advantage of it.
Later today (probably right around the time the kids actually wake up for good, Dennis reminds me), I will feel flat and worn out, ready to fall into a deep sleep at any moment. And that will occur in alternating periods of feeling like it's time to pack up the Christmas decorations singlehandedly and sort all of the old clothes and generally get the entire household in order. The good side of this mania is that the up and downs mean that occasionally I do get something done. Sometimes. And I'm ready to go to bed by 8 every evening.
I suppose I'm just preparing for the sleeplessness and exhaustion of those first months of a new baby. I forget what that's like, sometimes. I forget how one can be utterly worn out and at the same time, wanting to do something inane like organize all the pictures on one's computer. I don't suppose I'll actually remember fully until I'm there again. And hopefully, I'll forget again. That amnesia is what keeps the human race propogating, I think.
In the meantime, getting up early, going to bed early is a better pattern for toddlers and infants in this family than my usual inclination to stay up late, sleep late. So I'll try to remember that and make use of these weird energy surges and lags.
It's kind of amazing what our bodies and brains naturally do to prepare us/ preserve us in the midst of big things, isn't it? Reminder to self -- go with it.
For now, I think I'll try to get an hour more of sleep. That girl could be fussy, regardless.
i find it funny to read this in my daughter's third week of life when i've been awake for at least an hour and a half... and running through all the organizing i hope gets done while my mom is here for the next week plus... but not actually having any energy to do said organizing. totally a combination of energy and fatigue. and it happened in early and late pregnancy too. hormones? could be...
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