Tired babbling

Tonight I am tired. Dano was up last night until 1:30 a.m. flopping around and kicking me. He finally fell asleep and then Annalivia got up early. Ick.

I'm working on a graveside service for tomorrow. The family wanted a graveside service because they thought a funeral service would be too hard for them. They said they didn't want personal stories, but tonight before the visitation they spent an hour telling me things that they wanted mentioned when I didn't have anything to write with! I'm hoping I remember enough of them to make a mini-meditation meaningful. I'm also supposed to sing at the service and my voice is slowly creeping back after last week's sickness. It is not sounding very pretty, in my mind, but I am praying the Spirit will use raspy vocal chords regardless.

After the funeral, we are headed over to hang out with Sublime Aunt and her family. I'm looking forward to letting someone else chase the kiddos around. Then Thursday is my niece's 5th birthday party and Annalivia is going to stay overnight with her daddy at Grandma's house while Daniel and I head home. Dennis will bring her home after work on Friday. This will be her first overnight away from home! (Though Daddy will be there so I'm not sure it counts...) I hope it all goes well.

It is nice to have a busy week, but time seems to be flying by! Dennis and I decided yesterday that we are definitely having movers pack us up as well as move us, so that's kind of a relief to not have to worry about that. We're getting estimates at the beginning of August from a couple of different companies. I'm looking forward to finding out how it all works and figuring out exactly what we need to do in the interim.

At church, the regional minister who will work with the congregation through the transition of me leaving and beyond is going to be visiting the congregation on Sunday. I think my people are highly anxious about what comes next and are not sure about what to do next. I am assuming that she will answer all of their questions, but in the meantime, I'm trying to convince people that panic is not warranted. We've been receiving resumes at church from itinerant interim ministers who are grossly underqualified, in my mind. (Aside -- how do these people find out that I'm leaving?) I have cautioned my people to not give in to desperate-seeking-of-a-warm-body to fill the pulpit. This group needs to get LOTS of work done in the interim if they want to have even a small chance of survival in the future. But it's difficult for them to hear that from me and it is hard to know what ethical lines I'm crossing by trying to influence this process. So my mouth is mostly shut. Mostly.

But on the other side of leaving, I've had some great conversations lately with friends from home. Today I spent an hour or so on the phone with a friend from college. She was the ministerial intern when I was a senior in high school and had a huge influence on me. Now she is back in Eureka, our college town and my hometown, doing ministry part-time and raising kids full-time. It was great to talk to her. I'm so looking forward to renewing old friendships, though as I shared with her, I am feeling rather terrified about renewing the relationship with my home church. It is hard to go home again, church-wise, and what has really convinced me that my home church is where I need to be is that my sister's family and my parents and grandparents worship there. And I have longed for that sort of interaction since I left it. I'm praying that God helps me be a gracious and non-anxiety-inducing presence there. And that I can have some time off. Which means I'll have to let my Messiah-complex take a sabbatical. And those of you who know me, know that this could be one of the more significant spiritual exercises of my life! :)

Anyway -- all of these things -- rumbling around in this head and I should be asleep by now. Perhaps I'll post more cohesive thoughts some day soon! Good night!