Gifts

This week, Dennis and I received the check from our accident back in 2006. We deposited it and began the 10 day waiting period while the bank makes sure we are not terrorists. When the check clears, we'll pay off all of our debts, set aside a six-month emergency fund and invest a whole bunch. We might also go out to dinner. Maybe.

Back when we realized that someday we would receive a settlement check, we immediately decided the first 10% would go to God. Since it is our belief that it is because of God's miraculous intervention that we are alive in the first place, this makes complete and total sense to us. I know many of you out there would agree.

Today, I told our board chair that we are giving a portion of the money to the church. We want this money to be used, but we don't want to tell them how to use it. We'd like them to pray about that and figure it out on their own. It's kind of an odd thing to communicate -- take this, use it, but we aren't going to tell you how. Just be as faithful as you can. No pressure.

We also decided that I am done being paid by the congregation. Technically, I have two more paychecks left here, but I'm requesting that they keep the money. Convincing the treasurer that she should not write them out to me anyway and then have me give back the money, will take a little doing. I don't want to be taxed for it, and pay my 15.3% social security on it, after all. We'll see how that discussion goes.

It is nice to be able to give something to this congregation on the way out, when they will not be beholden to us in how they choose to use the money. It is nice to be able to communicate through what I have come to believe is their love language -- the budget-- that they are important to us. I hope these gifts convey the gratitude and appreciation I have for these last seven years.

Where's the volume control on this kid?

One of Annalivia's new favorite questions is now, "Is that a boy or a girl, Mommy?"

It's often a legitimate question. I just wish it was not a legitimate question asked in the checkout lane at the grocery store.

Proper gymnastics gear

We watched the Olympics tonight for the first time (we don't have tv down in Eureka). Annalivia had taken a long nap at about 5 p.m. and so I let her stay up to watch the show. She was captivated, of course. And almost immediately, she started doing gymnastics off of the ottoman. After a short while, she came up to me and said,

"Can we get a beam and some bars like for those girls? And some white stuff for my hands? And a red ponytail holder?"

I think a red ponytail holder is counted among that which is necessary for gymnastic performances, don't you?

Life happens offline

We have started our move. It is an incremental undertaking -- a van-load or so at a time. It is slow and laborous, but it is actually happening!

At the new house, we do not have the internet hooked up. I've not missed it. I know I need email to communicate with one of my ongoing extra-familial commitments, but truthfully, I'm debating getting rid of the internet all together. Turns out that a lot more gets done and, more importantly, more gets enjoyed when I'm not online.

I'm headed back to Eureka today. Dennis and the kids stayed at the new house overnight and I came home to do church and get a decent sleep. It was nice, but not as nice as being with my kids and husband. I'm eager for this month to be finished so we can all be together again.

Soon enough, I suppose... soon enough.

My sabbatical

This weekend I saw a good friend of mine who is in the midst of a sabbatical from church. She has had an amazing experience in Italy, has been able to visit friends and family, and still has a few weeks left in her leave. She seemed to sort of glow as she interacted with everyone at our reunion. It was cool to see. But I was jealous.

This weekend, I also saw a couple of folks from my home church in Eureka. This is the church I attended from birth, or whenever it was that my parents first took me there. It is their church and my grandparents' church. The church nurtured me through school and then paid me to be a college intern and then sent support as I was in seminary. They ordained me and allowed me to hang around after ordination and before my call here. And they've been welcoming and interested whenever I've returned in the interim. And now, in about a month, I will return to this congregation to just be a member -- not a Timothy (or Priscilla, or whatever you want to call us) not a visiting pastor, not a student visiting during break, not a person passing through. This time, I'll be back to stay.

It will be an interesting position to occupy. And I think it will involve adjustment on all parts. When I've seen folks from my home church, they've asked first if I will be attending church there. When I say yes, they ask if I'll be singing in the choir? Teaching Sunday School? Working with the youth? On the worship team? Mowing the lawn? (not really)

My answer -- nope. I have been at my church for 7 years without a break. And, I haven't actually had a vacation since Daniel was born and I used my vacation for my maternity leave. (Does that technically even count as vacation?) So I've decided that with the move, I am taking a sabbatical -- a total sabbath and rest from church responsibilities. Basically, until a good while after the baby is born, perhaps until next summer, I am just going to be a consumer. I am ready to rest.

So, though I owe my home church a heck of a lot, they will have to wait a bit to be repaid. I hope that doesn't disappoint too many people. My reserves are low. And I'd like to sparkle and glow like my friend when I think of church again. Right now that seems sort of fanciful.

But who knows...I am only a month away from sabbatical.

Halfway through a GREAT weekend

This weekend we went down to Eureka for my 15-year high school reunion. I was on the committee that organized it, and I must say, it was GREAT! We had a really nice time last night at our formal dinner, a wonderful tour of the high school from the "new" principal (he's been there 13 years!) and a great, casual, family picnic today with PERFECT weather! I just absolutely thoroughly enjoyed myself.

And I wish we could have enjoyed the picnic longer. I stupidly, moronically scheduled a wedding at church and let them set it for 3 p.m., so we had to leave the picnic before folks even finished getting food on plates! I would have liked to stay and chat more.

At the reunion, I found out that one of my high school friends checks in here sometimes (hi, Michelle!) and when I got home, one of my college friends who is related to high school friends had commented here and found me on Facebook and now we get to be in touch again! Sometimes I get tired of my attachment to these electronic forms of communication, but on the other hand the connections made possible by the Internet can be so wonderful, inspiring and life-affirming!

And talk about life-affirming -- tomorrow we are headed back down to Eureka to celebrate Gramps' 85th!!! birthday with most all of the family! I'm very excited to see the McSouths from Arkansas and the McGoods from Chicago and all of my sisters and spouses and kids... I may even be able to muster enthusiasm for Kali's dogs. Maybe. It is guaranteed to be a great time. God is good.

Pictures will come forth soon!

Oatmeal Banana Coffee Cake (the cheater version)

This was the cake I mentioned in my previous post. It's pretty good. It's not a very sweet cake, in my opinion and may be good with a cream cheese frosting/ glaze on top instead of oatmeal streusel. Or in addition to it.

Honestly, it would be a lot better with a homemade mix (like this one or preferably one that had a little whole wheat, I think. This is a hearty cake.) I think the industrial taste of boxed cake mix detracts from the mostly-wholesome ingredients. But, in a pinch, it will do!

Oatmeal Banana Coffee Cake
3 ripe bananas
2 cups oatmeal
1 cup yogurt
3/4 cup water
4 eggs
1 T vanilla
1 T cinnamon
1 box yellow cake mix (thanks, Becky!)

Dump all in a bowl and mix approximately 2 minutes on medium speed, or until well-combined. Cake will be lumpy due to oatmeal and bananas.

Pour into greased 9x11 cake pan.

If desired, top with streusel topping -- oatmeal, whole wheat flour, sugar, and butter mixed together -- and sliced bananas (beware--they will turn brown as they sit -- they still taste good, but look a little peaked).

Bake at 325 for about 40 minutes or until a knife inserted in the center comes out clean.

Cool a little, slice, eat.

Learnings and reaffirmations of the past 24 hours

1. That old adage "If Mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" is an an old adage for a reason.
2. Spending 15 minutes straightening up the house at night pays big dividends the next day.
3. Forgetting to spend time straightening up the house before Daddy leaves at the end of the weekend requires major deposits in time and energy.
4. Washable crayons and twistable colored pencils are absolutely, positively worth the extra money.
5. The only way to get through the wardrobe into Narnia is to take an afternoon nap.
6. A sewing machine is really only useable when it has been removed from its case.
7. A banana oatmeal coffee cake made with a yellow cake mix will feed hungry kids in the morning almost as well as the uber-nutritious variety one probably should have made.
8. "Shoulds" should be given-up in the first trimester.

Narnia VBS, Aslan, and us

Tonight, Annalivia went to Narnia Vacation Bible School. The VBS is co-hosted by our fellow Disciples congregation, but the VBS is located in the Presbyterian church.

The church has done an amazing job setting the stage. They have big pavilions set up and covered to look like the pavilions in the movie. To enter the sanctuary, they have a large wardrobe created and fur coats hanging on hangers. Once inside the sanctuary, there are Christmas trees with snow on them everywhere and a HUGE set with mountains, the beavers and Aslan. It was just very, very cool.

Daniel and I stayed with Annalivia from dinner through the opening, then I asked her if she wanted me to stay or go and she said, "GO!" so we left. Daniel and I went to Wal-Mart and walked around and looked at bikes, trucks, tractors and trains until he got tired. Then we bought some diapers and headed back to get Annalivia. When we got back to the church, she was crying because she had tripped/ been pushed. But apparently, for the most part, Annalivia had a good time.

Now we are home and it is 9:30 and though she's had no nap today, she is WIRED and wanting to watch Narnia for the gazillionth time. Dennis is gone back to central Illinois which means this will be a long night before the kiddos decide to give it up and give in to sleep. So Narnia in pj's it is. Sometimes being a slacker mom is entertaining.

Point of clarification

A friend from college called me the other day. We had not talked for almost two years and he had tracked me down. He had also found my blog and had caught up with my life via my postings. When he mentioned Daniel he said, "Sounds like he's a little monster, eh?" "No, no!" I said, hastily, "He's a very sweet little guy!".

I thought briefly about how he was portrayed on this blog, but then didn't think about it until a few days later when a friend and I were chatting and she mentioned something about Daniel being difficult somehow. I realized that I need to put a point of clarification in print, lest y'all get the wrong idea about my little guy.

Daniel is a very sweet little boy. Yes, he's clingy, and yes, he can be fussy, especially if he's not getting held when he wants to be held. He's not easy-going, nor is he particularly adaptable.

All of that being said, though, he is a very, very sweet boy and I enjoy 98% of my time with him. He is incredibly affectionate -- he gives hugs and sweet, sloppy kisses with his mouth all puckered up. He loves to make us laugh and is a little joker. He is a master of pratfalls and among his favorite things is finding something that will make his sister laugh. He loves music and singing and dancing. He's a big fan of tractors and trucks right now and he also is fond of trains. He likes to color and draw and write. He loves books, especially his tractor and truck and construction vehicle books. He's very helpful -- he loves to pick things up and put them away and loves to bring shoes to whatever member of the family has left them around.

Best of all, he loves his mommy and likes to be with me almost all of the time! That can be an inconvenience and sometimes a rather large inconvenience, but for the most part, it's just a really good thing. He loves to sit on me and have me read to him. And he loves for me to carry him around and show him things, dance with him, tickle him and work him over, and pay him attention of any kind.

Every single day, I am absolutely delighted to be Daniel's mommy and every day I thank God several times that I get to have this little one in my life. I am very in love with this little boy and I think he's just a marvelous little creature. No one should think for a minute that the trying times overshadow the miraculously enchanting times with my little Daniel. And if I have communicated that, I have done him and myself a disservice. He's my very sweet big boy and I love him very, very much.

"We treat our Interims better than our permanent pastors!"

That quote came from my beloved board chair tonight as we discussed what we should do to celebrate my 7 years of ministry here before I leave. I asked what they've done for other pastors. Turns out... nothing. They've had parties for the interims. But no pastor has ever left this congregation well, so... no precedence.

When I was first started researching the history of this congregation, I realized that one of the most important moments of my ministry would be in my leaving. Maybe that's the way it's just supposed to be for ministers, but especially in this congregation, I have a chance to break a devastating pattern.

The only thing is, a significant part of me doesn't want to have to plan my going-away-activities myself. It seems presumptuous and self-centered until I remember that this really IS incredibly important. This congregation needs to bring something to a healthy close sometime in its history. The time is now and the thing is my ministry, so I guess I'll start planning.

But I think I'll be sneaky. That'll at least be more fun... :)

Awww, shucks...

Thanks, all! I appreciate you sharing the joy with us.

We told the church today. Annalivia is convinced that this is a little girl. She keeps talking about her sister. And does not believe me when I tell her it could be a boy. She was beginning to tell people that we are buying a baby girl after Christmas, so we thought it would be good for them to hear from us. They were all excited and probably doubly thrilled to not have to deal with negotiating maternity leave again! On the way out, one lady hugged me and told me that she hopes it is twins. Another said that since she had three children, I could have three. Another asked how many we are going to have to which another said, "Five" very matter-of-factly...

People are weird.

Whether it wears blue or pink or one of each, we're feeling very blessed right now. If there's one thing the complications of my previous pregnancies have taught us, it's to be grateful for the gift and celebrate from the moment it has been given. So we are.

Thanks for celebrating with us.

Growing things

Our new little garden is growing like mad! I don't know if it is because the soil was very acidic, or because Dennis added a scoop of MiracleGro to each hole, or whether it's just because it has been so humid and rainy this summer, but we have frutifulness here!

We've got some Hungarian Peppers that are ready to be harvested NOW.

And bell peppers that could use a little while longer.

A plethora of cherry tomatoes.
Some Roma, Beefsteak and Early Girl varieties that are growing quite well.

Cilantro that promptly turned into Coriander.


Mint for tea. Someday.
Some spicy globe basil, some purple basil, oregano, rosemary and...


...some other miscellaneous basil...

And something extra special to be enjoyed late winter...

:)

Broken thumb, mending spirit

Annalivia broke her thumb today. She was kicking a ball around the living room and somehow slipped and landed on her thumb. She screamed and cried and fussed for a long time. I noticed it was getting black and blue and so called the doctor. And after x-rays were taken, little Annalivia ended up with a splint on her thumb.

She is doing pretty well now, but in the midst of the trauma, she was doing very poorly. In fact, at some point, she looked up from her macaroni and cheese and dramatically told me through tears, "I don't think I'm going to make it, Mommy."

Luckily she has indeed made it. So far. An ice cream cone after the x-rays may have helped a bit. We'll see how she feels when she finds out that splint has to go back on after her bath.

Jingle a la Annalivia

Heard from the backseat tonight, "Save 5 dollars, save 5 dollars, when you shop Menards..."

Tired babbling

Tonight I am tired. Dano was up last night until 1:30 a.m. flopping around and kicking me. He finally fell asleep and then Annalivia got up early. Ick.

I'm working on a graveside service for tomorrow. The family wanted a graveside service because they thought a funeral service would be too hard for them. They said they didn't want personal stories, but tonight before the visitation they spent an hour telling me things that they wanted mentioned when I didn't have anything to write with! I'm hoping I remember enough of them to make a mini-meditation meaningful. I'm also supposed to sing at the service and my voice is slowly creeping back after last week's sickness. It is not sounding very pretty, in my mind, but I am praying the Spirit will use raspy vocal chords regardless.

After the funeral, we are headed over to hang out with Sublime Aunt and her family. I'm looking forward to letting someone else chase the kiddos around. Then Thursday is my niece's 5th birthday party and Annalivia is going to stay overnight with her daddy at Grandma's house while Daniel and I head home. Dennis will bring her home after work on Friday. This will be her first overnight away from home! (Though Daddy will be there so I'm not sure it counts...) I hope it all goes well.

It is nice to have a busy week, but time seems to be flying by! Dennis and I decided yesterday that we are definitely having movers pack us up as well as move us, so that's kind of a relief to not have to worry about that. We're getting estimates at the beginning of August from a couple of different companies. I'm looking forward to finding out how it all works and figuring out exactly what we need to do in the interim.

At church, the regional minister who will work with the congregation through the transition of me leaving and beyond is going to be visiting the congregation on Sunday. I think my people are highly anxious about what comes next and are not sure about what to do next. I am assuming that she will answer all of their questions, but in the meantime, I'm trying to convince people that panic is not warranted. We've been receiving resumes at church from itinerant interim ministers who are grossly underqualified, in my mind. (Aside -- how do these people find out that I'm leaving?) I have cautioned my people to not give in to desperate-seeking-of-a-warm-body to fill the pulpit. This group needs to get LOTS of work done in the interim if they want to have even a small chance of survival in the future. But it's difficult for them to hear that from me and it is hard to know what ethical lines I'm crossing by trying to influence this process. So my mouth is mostly shut. Mostly.

But on the other side of leaving, I've had some great conversations lately with friends from home. Today I spent an hour or so on the phone with a friend from college. She was the ministerial intern when I was a senior in high school and had a huge influence on me. Now she is back in Eureka, our college town and my hometown, doing ministry part-time and raising kids full-time. It was great to talk to her. I'm so looking forward to renewing old friendships, though as I shared with her, I am feeling rather terrified about renewing the relationship with my home church. It is hard to go home again, church-wise, and what has really convinced me that my home church is where I need to be is that my sister's family and my parents and grandparents worship there. And I have longed for that sort of interaction since I left it. I'm praying that God helps me be a gracious and non-anxiety-inducing presence there. And that I can have some time off. Which means I'll have to let my Messiah-complex take a sabbatical. And those of you who know me, know that this could be one of the more significant spiritual exercises of my life! :)

Anyway -- all of these things -- rumbling around in this head and I should be asleep by now. Perhaps I'll post more cohesive thoughts some day soon! Good night!

Resolution

Our appointment with our lawyer went well. Incredibly well. Miraculously, amazingly, astonishingly well. We are kind of on a high here from which we may not come down anytime soon. Almost two years after the accident, this thing is almost over. Wow.

An extra day of Daddy

Tomorrow, Dennis and I have an appointment with our big-shot lawyer in the early afternoon, so he is going to be working four 10-hour days this week. I'm excited to have him here for an extra day. It is a gorgeous, temperate day here in northern Illinois today and so far, we've been in church, at a board meeting, and in the house and basement. It's time to head outside. The garden needs to be weeded and I think we all need to have a little fresh air. After all, we can put off laundry until tomorrow. We've got an extra day of Daddy!

Not pictured here...

My beloved Nikon D40x is BROKEN! :( :( :(

It was working great and then yesterday -- nuthin'! It won't turn on, won't even slightly light up, won't focus or click or anything!

I was reading online that apparently this is a problem that some Nikons have. The customer service guy was nice and I guess I just have to send it off and have it fixed. I'll get it back in about 3 weeks. Three weeks! Do you know how many photo ops will have passed by then?

Hurrah for husbands and the Hippocratic Oath

Dennis got home this evening. Oh, thank you, Lord!!! I am at VBS with Annalivia, and, thanks to some antibiotics and eyedrops, I am feeling much better. And any physical improvement made is magnified by the spiritual and psychological improvement of having my husband home and a second parent in the house.

Though it may be a single-parent household again tonight if I get the chance to flee for a few hours... :)

Rotten-ness

I am feeling terrible right now. I have a horrible sore throat and almost no voice. It hurts to swallow and my ear is aching and ringing and full of fluid. My eyes are itchy and my nose is stuffed up and my wrist hurts and on and on and on...

This is VBS week -- not the time to be sick. And tomorrow night, we are supposed to have our community prayer vigil for the recent murders in our community. I am supposed to open the service, but I'm going to pass it off to someone else tomorrow morning. And then I'm going to pass off my VBS responsibilities to someone else. And then I'm going to curl up on the couch and pray my children are entertained by Kipper videos while I moan and try to feel a little better.

That's the state of things 'round here.

The Fourth (as per Kali)

Kali has some great pics and commentary of our Fourth of July breakfast on her post, Da Fo'th. Go see the revelry!

Busy stuff

It's VBS week at our church. Last year was our first year of VBS after a 10-year hiatus, and it went really well, in our minds. We ended up with 20 kids, which is a lot more than the 2.7 who usually attend, 2 of whom are related to the pastor.

Tonight was our kick-off and it went really well. We had 19 kids the first night! That's a big deal for us. It was fun -- exhausting, but fun. Part of the tiring part is that Daniel is about fried by that time of night. Add 20 kids and 10 adults and that is one clingy, grumpy, fragile child. I basically carried him everywhere. If Dennis still lived with us during the week, he'd have Daniel at night. But Daddy is in central Illinois at his new job. So, mommy is doing the leading-of-VBS with Daniel in arms and counting down the days till my only real duty is to hold him in my arms. (66, fyi).

Annalivia, on the other hand, had a great time. She just shines when she's around other kids. Social, social, social. She was worn out, too, though. She almost fell asleep in the 10 blocks between church and home. And both she and Daniel were fast asleep moments after going to bed. I guess the tiring part of VBS is good in that regard!

I am also busy with the Community Clergy Association right now. Last year I was president and for some reason, we didn't elect a new pres in May like we usually do, so I'm still president. We had some murders in our towns this last week and it has shaken everyone up. So we're having a candlelight vigil on Thursday. There are a number of clergy who are irritated because we originally had planned to have a prayer service at noon. But the vigil was planned by some conservative clergy and it seemed ridiculous to me that we should have separate prayer services (like we can't pray together in at least this circumstance?), so we are joining their service. I am hoping people will just deal with it and show up anyway. If not, they can not elect me again in the fall. Oh, wait...

In other news, we had a great little vacation in Eureka on July 3, 4, and 5. We had a nice anniversary and saw a wonderful parade, celebrated Mom's birthday, got to watch fireworks, went on lots of big walks around the college and town and just revelled in the knowledge that we are going to be moving soon. And actually, we'll get to move a whole month sooner, if we wish because my sis and bro-in-law are moving into their house on Aug. 1. So we can move whenever after that, which is great. It won't change my end date, but it sure would be nice to get stuff moved around and in place before we have to live there permanently.

Of course, we're not packing yet...

Five years later...

I'm just so glad he continues to put up with me! Happy anniversary, sweetheart.

In the absence of Daddy

It is 12:15 and I have two children who are crying. Neither of them want to go to bed. Daniel is in his crib and Annalivia is in her room. Both distressed.

Dennis started his job today. We actually did really well all day until late this evening. The kids both took naps at 5 p.m. and they DID NOT want to go to sleep tonight.

I have learned that when Daddy is not here, the sleep schedule will be off for a bit. Dennis is central to the nighttime routine and I think when he's not here, they both sort of wait to see if he is going to show up before resigning themselves to falling asleep.

Update -- 1:39 a.m. -- They finally fell asleep about 12:30. And I find myself unable to let myself go to sleep also. I guess they're not the only ones not quite resigned to going to bed without Daddy.

Woohoo!

We had a GREAT flood relief event at church today! We served about 200 people, made a good amount to donate, and had a great time. After church, I think there were quite a few of us who were worried about whether folks would show up. They did. (of course -- why DO we worry about these things constantly?) And the other church that helped in the event was amazing and it was so cool to see vastly different parts of the body of Christ coming together to make a difference. The food was wonderful, the activities were just plain fun (it was kind of funny to see how many adults were really excited to ride the firetruck!), and the atmosphere was festive. It was truly a wonderful experience.

If you'd like to see pics, click on over to my church blog.

Ok, seriously

If you are not reading "Et Tu?" you should start now. It's just brilliance all over the place. Jen's latest column about her transformation from being pro-choice to pro-life is stunning, I think. She articulates wrestling with faith as a reasoned individual in such eloquent and readable ways! I'll recommend her to everyone from any background. Fabulous stuff.

This just made me smile

There's more at YouTube -- Search for Matt Harding dancing.

Thursday thirteen

1. Now that I have officially resigned from church, I cannot tell you how much more I am enjoying being with my children. I don't know why it correlates for me, but it does.


2. We have been enjoying our backyard so much this year. Last year, Dennis fenced it in and put up the play area. This year, we've been out there every non-rainy day. Daniel and Annalivia can play for a long, long time in the sandbox. We have to strip them down and shake them out every time we go inside. Daniel has sand in his hair literally every night. He may or may not have been the one to put it there.


3. I love Daniel's current stage of development. It is just delightful to watch him learn to communicate, play jokes, enjoy moving around, learn to jump. It really is a wonder.


4. Daniel has been reading books to himself lately. His favorite is a deconstructed (not in the literary sense) copy of The Little Engine That Could. He points to the characters and yells a lot.


5. He's also a big fan of tractors and lawn equipment. We went to a playground last week after ballet clahss and he just stood there watching a guy mowing the park. Swings and slides cannot compete with the combustion engine, apparently.


6. This week, we slept too late to get to ballet clahss. Annalivia was remarkably unfazed.


7. Annalivia has been singing a lot of songs lately. She has a great ear for music. She can return to the home key no matter where we've been and loves to make up songs. Her phrasing is great. I also love to hear her sing "This is the day that the Lord has made. Let us Be-Joyce and be glad in it."


8. She is also fascinated with the idea of childbirth and can often be found snuggling and kissing her dolls, talking about their beautiful chins, etc. And she's taken to renaming her dolls, which were previously given the perfectly-respectable names of characters in Kipper and Angelina Ballerina to things like "Gootie" and "Gook" and "Sweeha".


9. I feel like I am channeling Bob McClure lately, going through the house, flipping off lights. I'm practicing my grandfather's "Somebody's paying Cilco!" sing-song for when we move south. (cilco=central IL light company)


10. We have decided to not move any of our pantry when the time comes, so I've been making dinner from canned, frozen, and refrigerated ingredients lately. It's saving grocery money, but it's not very exciting.


11. We may not have to worry about whether our garden will be producing after our departure. The crows have been swarming it, pecking at the ground, and eating off of it lately.


12. Today is Dennis' second-to-last day at the place he was worked for 12 years. It's the end of an era.


13. We have done no packing today, yesterday, or the day-before-that, or the week-before-that. Tomorrow doesn't look good, either.

Just because

Last night, Dennis took a little longer than usual to get home. When he arrived, I was holding a sleeping child and he peeked around the corner and then presented this beautiful bouquet. He said it occurred to him that in this time of transition, I'd be dealing with a lot of upheaval, so he wanted to do something, "just because..."!

Aren't they gorgeous?

Sticky morning

Daniel was sleeping in late this morning, so Annalivia and I made pancakes. I let her dump all the things in the bowl and then stir up the mix. I would occasionally take the whisk from her and she would say, "Go nice and slow, Mommy, like me." And then, "No, that's too fast. Do it exactly like I do it."

We had blueberries to use and the pancakes were buckwheat. The combo was... not delicious. I think the blueberries weren't the greatest anyway, because everything tasted a little too grassy for me. Annalivia's verdict -- "I don't like blueberries. I like butter!!"

About ten minutes after she had gotten down from the table, she came out into the living room with her mouth full of pancake telling me that she liked MY pancakes. And the syrup on them. I didn't associate that I hadn't actually put syrup on my pancakes and that my plate was already washed and draining. So I wasn't alarmed until she came back to tell me she had spilled syrup on the counter. Suddenly, I realized what had happened. She had dumped the ENTIRE bottle of lovely, expensive Grade B Trader Joe's maple syrup onto the plate of extra pancakes that I had hoped would be breakfast for the next few days! It was a mess, not to mention that the syrup was gone and the pancakes were ruined. I will confess, I did not respond gracefully.

But after a very gentle smackdown by someone far wiser than I, I have realized that it was funny in its own right. And I wish I would have grabbed the camera and laughed a little instead of getting all ticked off.

I guess I've got a lot to learn when it comes to handling sticky situations.

7 months of bad hair is enough

The last time I had my hair professionally cut was on Dec. 1, 2007. I got it cut and I wasn't really happy with it and decided that I was just not going to pay for an icky haircut for the next year.

I made it to last week, when I decided my own haircutting technique (i.e. grab a clump and saw at it with thinning shears) had run its course. I have terrible hair right now. Long haired dogs that have lived on their own in the wild, foraging for squirrels in thickets full of burrs and sticker bushes have looked better. Really.

So, I caved. And I made an appointment at one of the hipper salons in our very non-hip town, asking them for their soonest appointment. I have had to wait until this Tuesday when I will emerge with a new hairdo, hopefully.

I'm excited. I'm not sure what has possessed me to go this long feeling hair-frumpy, but I've learned a lesson -- regardless of the money this experiment has saved, it's really not worth it.

Owwww.

Yesterday morning before ballet clahss, I was at the dairy getting some lovely fresh milk and I tripped over a large rock and managed to fall flat on my face while carrying a gallon glass jar of milk to the car. I was hurrying and not paying attention to the big ol' rock that the dairy owners use to prop open the milk shed door. I fell hard, knocking the glasses off my face and scraped up my knees and elbows. I'm very, very thankful that I was carrying the milk (which did not break, by the way) because I did not have time to drop it and put my hands out to catch myself. I'm pretty certain I would have broken again my already-broken right wrist that is being held together with screws and plates. Thank God for LARGE favors!

Yesterday afternoon and this morning, I did not feel too bad. But this afternoon.... uuuuuggggghhhhh! And.... owwwwwwwww. Everything hurts. I feel like going to bed and staying there for the next few days.

Is there a point in one's life where one doesn't make a fool of oneself, imperiling life and limb?

If so, I think I may be past it.

Impromptu service project

So, on the way out of pastoring, I am feeling energized to do ministry again and have spent some of the evening rounding up folks to put on a Summer Picnic/ Old Fashioned Church Sundae Sunday/ Ice Cream Social (we're still debating what we'll call it) to benefit flood victims. And we've decided to do it Sunday, June 29, after worship.

Nothing like a little fire under our seats to get us going again.

I'm excited, and as far as I can tell, so is our congregation. We love any project that involves food and so much of our congregation has family or friends who have been affected by the flooding. I think it's perfect.

A little soon, but perfect.

A special treat

I found this set the other day at an antique store in town. Isn't it neat? I love the large thermoses with the old corks, red pop-off lids and nesting cups... the long sandwich box... the great plaid container... everything fits inside just so. Annalivia is enthralled with our new set for "parapickets" (picnics).

I'm picturing fall parapickets with soup and sandwiches and a thermos of cider...

Another piece of the puzzle

One of the most wonderful pieces of this life-change puzzle that has been falling into place is our living arrangements come September. We will be renting the house that my sister, Lil, and her family are vacating when they move into their new home.

This house is not just any house, however. It is an absolutely gorgeous, amazing, and very large home built in the early 1900's. It has been in the family of the current owner since shortly after it was built. It is wonderful -- two stories and a walk-up attic, woodwork everywhere and chestnut pocket doors, gorgeous big windows, a gracious front porch, an amazing entry and banister, lovely plantings... these things are just the beginning. The owner is a man who has taken very good care of the place. He is a meticulous caretaker and his house shows it.

Living in this house is sort of a dream for me. When I was growing up, my grandparents lived just down the block from it, in another large house on Main Street in Eureka. I used to walk by the house we will be living in and admire it. I was inside it once when I was in grade school and thought it was the most beautiful place I'd ever seen. When I was in college, I decided that it was the house I'd most want to own in Eureka. Then Lil moved in and I've lived vicariously through her, coveting that house all the while. No longer -- in September we'll get to be the tenants there!

The only thing that would make this whole thing better would be if we were actually buying it. We've always wanted to have a lovely old house that needs enough work that the price is such that we could buy it, but not enough work that we'd be stupid for buying it! :) Dennis can fix anything and the senseless romantic in me is always much happier with creaky floors and high ceilings around me. Maybe someday...

In the meantime, I plan to cook at the stove and weed the gardens and sit on the porch and pretend like it's mine. I'll be enjoying every moment of it.

It will still be a dream come true.

Of course, I didn't have my camera!

We had a terrific day here.
Church went well. Everyone is so demonstrative with their affections now that I'm leaving! It's refreshing.
After church, we got in the car and drove north. We came upon a small town that was having its annual Fire Department Waterfight Day. The firefighters were decked out in their gear and had out two firehoses. They were aiming them full blast at a plastic barrel and trying to get the barrel over the other teams' line to win a "round". We joined about 40 spectators for a few minutes to watch the crazy ritual, realized I had left the camera at home, and moved on.
We then drove over to the Mississippi River and headed up towards Galena. Right along the river, we saw a large BNSF coal train and travelled with it for a few miles. It was right beside us and the kids were over the moon to see the big orange train and coal cars so close.
We stopped an an army depot near the river and on the way into the depot, saw a home in the backwaters of the Mighty Miss, flooded to the extent that it was an island. On the way out of the depot, we saw a HUGE snapping turtle -- probably two feet long -- in the road. Annalivia and I got a really, really close look at it when Dennis pulled over. It was ugly, but very, very cool.
On the way to Galena, the sun came out and we had just incredibly lit vistas everywhere. Galena was nice and we had gelato and then drove around a bit and headed up to Dubuque. There is flooding everywhere, but we mainly just drove around and enjoyed the beautiful scenery.
From Dubuque, we headed south along the river and saw cranes, swans, and turtles. We went through a little Luxembourg village and near an abbey. We saw a huge ELCA church that rivaled any Catholic church around here. We followed a beautiful, charming little road a couple of miles and saw a neat old farmstead, a very old cemetery and a chapel built by a devout Catholic after a treacherous trip across the Atlantic from Luxembourg in 1852.
We saw a beautiful little town by Lock and Dam #12 and missed our chance to have homemade pies. But we drove through more flooding to Clinton, bought a picnic and then headed to a great little park in Fulton where the kids played for an hour.
Then we headed towards home and took a little sunset-lit walk through the slough, listened to the frogs and the red-winged blackbirds and enjoyed an incredibly brilliant red-hued sunset before heading home to baths.
It was just a perfect, wonderful, impulsive day, spent with the family, grateful for Daddy, and all that we enjoy. I wish I would have gotten pictures, but it was very special and I suppose the lack of photos mean this day was uniquely ours.
Hope everyone out there had a wonderful Fathers' Day, too.

The BIG, GIANT, HUGE, ENORMOUS news

I have spent the day today calling people to tell them that I am resigning as their pastor today.

I know that's not the conventional way to do it, but I also know that sending a letter first to this congregation who really is more like family would be a terrible way to announce this departure. They'll get the letter on Sunday.

In the meantime, I've talked to almost every regular attendee. I tried to visit face-to-face with some folks who have been very important to me. The others have gotten a phone call and an apology that I'm not there in person to tell them.

I kind of hate to admit this, but I am surprised -- almost shocked -- to find out that people are really, really going to miss me! I look back over the last seven years, and it is the gaping holes that are most obvious, the places where I could-have or should-have. I am glad that they have reminded me of the places where I have. Thank God that they were paying attention.

The reason I am resigning is primarily because Dennis has accepted a position as an engineer in Morton, IL. It is an incredible position at a company with a secure future, or, at least, as secure as one can find in the current manufacturing climate. And they have been very, very generous with him.

I am very excited, especially, because their generosity means that I will get to stay home with the kiddos. I have known since they were born that mothering them was my greatest calling. I am very, very, very grateful that I am going to be able to mother them in this new way -- with no sermons to research, no office to visit or not-visit, no congregants to rush off and pastor.

The most wonderful thing is that we know, we know that all of this is exactly what we need to do. It is clear to us that God has provided this way for us. In fact, it has happened in an almost magical way -- divine, really! :) We were not looking to leave and had actually talked to Dennis' mom about staying here and buying property from her and living out there. Then Dennis got a call from a headhunter and the guy had this position in mind for him.

Dennis had an informal interview with the engineering manager who called the headhunter back and told him that she was sure that the company wanted Dennis. The headhunter gave her a salary figure that was just kind of amazing to us and when she balked at it, he told her that Dennis was very worth it.

The company called him back for another interview and it went very well. He was there for a looooonnnnngggg time. It was only 45 minutes after the interview that the company called and offered Dennis the job at the amazing number! I don't think we could have asked for it to happen in a cooler way!

And since then, and really, before that, everything has just been laid out before us in the most amazing ways. We have had some other miraculous financial news and we are just astonished at the events at hand! In 90-ish days, my husband will be working at a job that will obviously value him and his experience and knowledge, I will be home with my kiddos, we will be living in Eureka, we will have all our debts paid, we'll have a six month emergency fund, and we'll have a very, very substantial savings for the future. It will be a whole new life! Resurrection, really.

I am just so amazed, awed and humbled at how God has answered and is answering so many of our prayers. And I am reminded of the thousands of times I have worried and fretted. What have I to fear, really? I need to remember that He is good to His people.

I may have to tattoo that on my forehead.

And those of you who have told me that all would be well have permission to tell me "I told you so."

But only once. :)

Wiggley girl

Annalivia had her dance clahss today. She woke me up at 7:30 and was ready to go by 7:45. Class began at 9. :)

She loved it. She was full of all sorts of information afterwards -- "I held on the big white bar!" and "The teacher told me something and I did it!" and "I danced and danced and danced!" and a bunch of other stuff. I'm glad she enjoyed it. This was literally her first experience with taking instruction from someone other than us and being with other kids her age. We don't have kids at our church and she's not in daycare, so I was relieved.

But something else came up and I'd like your-all's help out there! The parents stayed in a lounge area while the kids went to class and they had a video feed of the class into the lounge. We couldn't hear anything, but it looked to me like she did pretty well. She was very excited to do all the movements, but I noticed that she was constantly moving. If the kids were sitting in a straight line, Annalivia was scooting around the floor. She was mimicking the teacher's arm movements, but was also using her legs and doing all sorts of squiggley things. When they were playing a dance-while-the-music-is-playing, stop-when-it's-not game, she wasn't stopping until far after the other kids.

As I was watching her, I was realizing that Annalivia is always moving! She doesn't just sit or stand in one place anytime! I hadn't realized before that it is not characteristic of other kids her age, but I definitely noticed it today! She's like a little butterfly flitting around! And I'm wondering now what I can do to help her learn to contain herself and focus. Anyone out there got suggestions?

Dance clahs

Tomorrow, Annalivia has her first dance class. (Or if she is talking about it, it's her "dance-clahss" -- I'm pretty sure it's an Angelina thing.) She's excited to wear her leotard, her ballet shoes, and her hair in a braid. We've discussed how important it is that she listen to the teacher and do what the teacher says even if other children aren't following the teacher's instructions. It's her first time with organized instruction from another adult. We'll see how it goes. I may be sleeping with fingers crossed.

Mini-vaca

So, we have been gone on a teeny-tiny vacation since, um... Sunday after church! Teeny-tiny. Miniscule, in fact.

We had to be in central Illinois this morning, so Dennis took a vacation day today and we went down to Peoria after church yesterday. We took a winding journey through the country and ended up at Glen Oak Zoo -- a little non-fancy zoo in Peoria. We walked around on a sweltering day, had ice cream at a local landmark, and then headed to a hotel where we swam for a while. Then we got pizza for dinner, took a drive, and came back. This morning, we went and visited the great-grandparents, did some playing and lunching, and got in a grandma-and-aunts-and-cousins visit in the afternoon. Then we headed home.
It was a great little mini-vacation. I felt like we got to do something different and that's a nice feeling as I see the same-ol' dishes and laundry facing me at home!

There is a balm...

...and it might be on the internet. Thanks so much, all of you -- those who commented, emailed or called re: my last post.

I met with the folks in this family who are members of the congregation today. It was a good visit. We had lots of conversation, lots of laughter. I've apologized directly to those who are most hurt -- not church members -- but still part of the family. I feel as though I have done what I can. I've realized through talking with some of you that part of my guilt is misplaced. Part of it isn't, but I appreciate your wisdom and willingness to speak truth in love.

In other news -- we found out that the insurance company of the woman who hit us back in Sept'06 has agreed to pay us the full limits of her policy coverage. This is huge! And it means that the lawsuit could perhaps be resolved in the next month or two or three. I am praying for it to be resolved sooner rather than later, but y'all know me -- I'm impatient. :) It is very good news, though, and I'm grateful for it, grateful for this day and how things have gone, grateful for all of you out there. Thanks, friends.

I have screwed up

I have really messed up a situation at church and am having to beg forgiveness from a family I truly love. They have made mistakes, too, but my mistakes are greater.

I don't know whether I can make the situation better and I just don't know how to convey my complete contrition to them. The relationship is hurt. Very hurt.

And the situation is leading me to do some serious praying, thinking, and pondering about the future and ministry.

The answer so far is not easy...

Grumpy girl

Dennis is on a business trip, Daniel is still going through far too many diapers (and pijamas...and sheets for his crib...and sheets for our bed), Annalivia has been helpful in all the wrong ways today, the house is a mess, we have a visitor coming tomorrow, a secretary leaving for the weekend, a good dose of uncertainty around here, and I am very, very, very grumpy.

How in the world do those of you with husbands who are gone consistently keep from becoming a resentful, brooding, walking ball of irritation?

Oh, yeah.... there is prayer...

Life moves

And we can either enter into the journey of our own accord, or be pulled along unwillingly.

A prayer for this season of life, found somewhere online, sometime in the past...

Jesus of the road, Jesus of the street
Jesus of the sky, Jesus on the beat
May I come with you, along your roads today
and see where you are, and what you do and say
and be involved, in some small way?
May I do it, Jesus?
In your name I pray.

Desperate temps call for desperate measures

We've not really had desperate temps, but today it got up to 86 degrees here and we were all a little hot. So, we made ice cream.

I made the custard yesterday -- a little bit of very dark chocolate, agave nectar, cream, milk, vanilla and eggs. So simple.

We got it out of the fridge this afternoon and poured it in the frozen bowl and let the KitchenAid mixer do its magic. Have I mentioned here how much I adore my KitchenAid? Mom got it for me and I love, love, love it!!

About 25 minutes later, we turned it off and sampled.

With fresh milk from the dairy, we get SO much cream! We can have a quart and a half of homemade deliciousness every week, if we want. Next week's version may have to be made with fresh strawberries from my brother in law's garden! Mmmmmm.

Memorial Day, apart. And together again.

Because Daniel had been sick, we had an odd Memorial Day celebration here. Dennis opted to stay home with Daniel and sent Annalivia and me to Eureka on our own. I got to hang out with the sisters on Sunday night while Annalivia played with Grandpa Bob and her cousin, Rhys, got in a visit to her great-grandparents' basement, and got to hang out with my sister Lil's children. She had a great time, but I think I had a better time with my sisters. I laughed so hard I cried, and this happened at least 15 times. It was magnificent.
On Sunday night, Annalivia and I stayed with Lil and Jake's family and then on Memorial Day, Lil hosted a breakfast/ brunch on her porch before the parade. The food was wonderful and the rain did not arrive. At 10:30, we lined up on the curb on Main Street, candy bags in hand.

The kids all stood and covered their hearts as the American Legion carried the flags by. The parade was very nice and we got lots of candy, mainly due to the fact that we seem to be the only folks who clap and cheer for the parade participants. This is a lesson that was imparted to us early by Grammy and we have learned it well. I'm always wondering why it is that people DON'T clap and cheer at parades. The good folks in Eureka, IL need not worry -- as long as there are McClures around, you will be applauded.

After the parade, we went back to the porch and Annalivia got to do more running around with cousins.

You can tell how thrilled my niece was to see her aunt. My brother in law looks excited, too.

Kalin was especially thrilled to spend time with me.


The brothers in law and my nephew did some conversing with my grandfather and grandmother, great aunt and cousin, and my mom and dad (none of whom got in the pictures, sadly).


Marissa was especially animated, and obviously adoring of her husband. She's like this all the time now that she's married to a good guy. Jake had to keep telling her to tone it down when he was taking our photos. She's just exuberant nowadays. But we love her all the same.

After the party, Annalivia and I headed north. She fell asleep about a mile north of Eureka and stayed asleep until five miles south of Rock Falls.

When we got home, we found a little guy who was doing much better. Thank God.

So headed out to the country for a windy visit to Daddy's farm.


And we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

Our first early morning

Today, we got up early for the first time this summer. We've been sleeping in so late, for some reason lately. But last night, Daniel stayed in his crib. He didn't wake up until 5:45 when Dennis brought him to bed. Then he fell back asleep and it was so light out that Annalivia was clearly not going to go back to bed after her 5:45 wake-up, so she and I got up.

I had sort of forgotten how nice it is to be up before children are awake. I got a nice shower and got dressed and dried my hair, all of which I usually have to do while Daniel cries for me to pick him up. Annalivia and I made breakfast -- PW's Apricot Bars, only with whole wheat pastry flour, less sugar, and this great jam that we get that has no sugar OR sugar substitute added. And now we are getting ready to wake up Daniel and go get milk from the dairy. (I don't think I've said here that we have found a place to get fresh organic milk about 5 miles from us -- for $2.50/ gallon!!!)

So -- that is the day so far. I have two important errands to run that I have literally been forgetting to do for months -- take Dennis' suit to the cleaners, and return shoes to Zappos. Other than that, it is a day for finishing the church newsletter and being kinder to my children that I have been lately. :)

I'll post pics of Memorial Day later.

Doing better

We are doing better around Casa McStew. Daniel has some antibiotic and is now eating much better... and DRINKING!! I'm so happy with that. I am now praying for a cessation of this rotten intestinal stuff. He is literally going through 15 diapers a day. And often, he is going through 6-10 pairs of pants too.

But, the color is returning to his cheeks and his eyes look less hollow and that is very good.

It is a beautiful day here in northern IL. We are getting ready to put in a very rudimentary vegetable garden. Basically, it's a pasta sauce garden -- roma tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, garlic and some lovely herbs. I'm excited. We have not been gardeners because Dennis' brother has supplied our needs amply with his garden. But we're taking the plunge and our little mini-plot will be lovely, should it flourish.

And this afternoon, I'm finally getting around to making homemade egg noodles for Tuna Noodle casserole tonight. I'm excited to bust out the Kitchen Aid mixer mom got me a while back and some new attachments.

I may have to take some photos.

Little D update

Our little guy is still sick. He's not drinking anything on his own. Dennis and I have been feeding him dropperfuls of Pedialyte and got about 16 ounces in him this afternoon. He fights it, but at least it is staying down. Today we were headed to the emergency room for dehydration when we got a call from the doctor's office. Turns out Daniel has a parasite. Right now, we have no medication for it and the treatment was going to be an IV fluid push, which we have been doing without the needle here at home. We have been bouncing between medical care providers as we've been figuring this illness out -- our doctor was full, then we actually saw our doctor, then our doctor was off, then our urgent care physician weighed in. It's been frustrating.

Tomorrow, our doctor should be in and able to help, I pray. In the meantime, I visited the health food store and got a natural remedy that I am also praying will help. If the little guy would just drink, I would be much less worried. But he won't. Or doesn't. And I'm getting a little freaked out.

My little sick guy

Daniel is sick again. We have no idea what is wrong, but he has been having intestinal issues and has been vomiting on and off since Mother's Day. It has gotten worse instead of better and he just laid upon me today whenever he could.

I hate it when my little ones are sick. There is just nothing to do for them; I always feel so powerless. Powerless, and also, unproductive. I can do nothing with them laying upon me, which is ok, usually. Except when it isn't, of course.

I am reminded again of how thankful I am that he is well most of the time. Even in his fusiness, he is generally well.

I should be always grateful.

Prince Caspian and a disappointed me (warning TONS o' spoilers)

I have returned home from seeing Prince Caspian.

And I have to say -- I'm disappointed.

Before I get to my review, I will make my disclaimers in the beginning here. I have spent the last week listening to the AMAZING radio theater productions of the Chronicles of Narnia that Focus on the Family (yes, really, liberal friends) has released. These audio productions are just astonishing -- the books are largely unchanged and are beautifully and movingly dramatized. I am teary through most of it, riveted to my radio and seriously have to stop myself from cheering out loud and running around, panting, it is so good.

(Yes, I'm a dork.)

ANYWAY, that is my recent background and that is my big mistake, I think. For the record, I made the same mistake with Harry Potter 3, reacquainting myself with the book right before the movie. I have learned my lesson now because I sat through the whole movie thinking, "Oh. I wish they hadn't done THAT..." Next time a movie comes out, I won't go anywhere NEAR the book, or an audio version of it, until far after I've seen the movie. I think.

Ok. On to the review.

First the good -- the visuals, of course, are stunning. I loved the beauty of Cair Paravel, the darkness of the Telamarine castle and the disproportionate numbers of Telamarines bearing down upon the Narnians. I thought Aslan (when he FINALLY appeared) was wonderful. The music was great. The actors were very good, I thought, and I really enjoyed the Pevensies in both this film and the last. I did like the roles that Lucy and Susan took in the battle, especially the brave and daring side of Susan. And I liked Edmund through and through.

Now -- onto that which I did not like, and I must add another disclaimer here. For me, The Chronicles of Narnia are full, nay -- bursting with Christian symbolism. I know there are others out there who prefer to read them without that lens. For me, it is impossible. So -- fair warning -- these are all subjective interpretations. I am not going to go through the rest of the review writing, "in my opinion" and "for me." Please understand that my interpretation is implied. You are free to disagree.

I thought the first movie did an excellent job of portraying Lewis' depiction of a world, full of both life-giving and life-taking magical power, as found in the book, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. At the beginning of the book, it is clear that the life-giving power is latent, but it is not forgotten. Aslan is working in the memories of those beasts who are supposed to have denied him on order of the Witch. The arrival of the Pevensies re-awakens that deep knowledge of the life-giving magic, renews the commitment of the faithful, and the struggle to establish Life as the dominant power in Narnia is set forth.

The book Prince Caspian has an almost identical premise, only this time it is a bit more hopeless. This time, the Magic has been conquered. It has been denied. It has been supressed to the extent that it is now forgotten. Even the trees, which, though they had chosen poorly in Wardrobe by allying themselves with the White Witch, do not remember that ancient magic that is the underlying force of their being. Many of the dwarves and beasts do not remember the magical Life Force and those that do find themselves in a constant battle to affirm the reality of Aslan's magic to those who do not believe.

It is into this world that the Pevensies arrive, a year after leaving Narnia the first time. And when they return to Narnia in the book version of Prince Caspian, they find themselves leaving their old, English selves behind. They return to Narnia and their true selves awaken. Here they are the High King and his Royal Siblings. Here, they are servants of the Son of the Emperor Beyond the Seas. Here, their purpose is noble, valorous, and very much a "high calling." And though they fumble a bit, they are determined from the start to rise to their calling. And so they do.

And this is one of my main gripes with the movie. The characters of the Pevensies are drastically altered. Peter is fighting at the beginning of the movie. Susan is brooding. They have adapted to their English world NOT by taking with them their identities as Kings and Queens of Narnia, but by wallowing in their frustration about NOT being in Narnia. Since I believe Lewis wrote these partly as instruction for young'uns about how to behave as Christians, you can imagine that I don't agree with that interpretation. I understand WHY it was intperpreted that way -- more about that in a moment -- but I don't agree with it.

Upon their return to Narnia, the Pevensies do not awaken to their noble task and high calling. Instead, Peter blunders about, trying to prove himself and denying Aslan i.e. "I think we've waited for Aslan long enough" before he makes a disastrous decision about a battle. He is not High King Peter until the final fight and battle scene. Similarly, Susan is sullen and stubborn, allying herself against her brother the High King by siding with Caspian (the argument between Caspian and Peter being another ridiculous thing in my mind). At the end of the movie, we're not surprised that Susan and Peter are not coming back. They've made huge mistakes; it makes sense that they're not allowed back (which is something that would expressly NOT be implied by Lewis!)

When it comes down to it, I just MISSED the High King! In the book, Peter is valiant and courageous, wise beyond his years, humble, commanding, and faithful to Aslan. Peter was my favorite character in the book. And I think the actor who played Peter could have shown an astounding depth as that character in the film, were he allowed to do so. Alas.

The other thing that I kept longing to see in the movie adaptation was a recognition that The Magic is there, under the surface, perhaps deep under the surface, but there, nonetheless. There is very little wonder and delight in this movie, which contrasts deeply with the book. I desperately wanted to see the trees awake. I wanted to see Lucy sensing that the Magic was about to break forth. The lack of The Magic is most seen in the marked absence of Aslan from the script. I was especially, especially sad to see that they did not make a bigger deal of the four of them coming to see Aslan. In fact, it seemed as though Aslan was an afterthought at best and his appearance is only at the end when all else is lost, all human interventions and contraventions have failed and then he swoops in to do some punishing of the bad guys. Which is probably, sadly, far too close to what many of us really believe about God when it comes right down to it.

And this is where I am, perhaps, most disappointed in the movie. It seems to me as though the movie very carefully removes God from it. The focus is instead on human blunders -- pride, arrogance, and revenge. The lack of direction from Aslan then leaves no room for supernatural Redemption. The humans redeem themselves -- Peter fights Miraz, Caspian lets Miraz go, Caspian establishes a good kingdom, Peter and Caspian reconcile. None of this is credited to Aslan.

This would probably not bother me that much, except that Disney has created a brilliant marketing plan, hand in hand with Focus on the Family, Christian bookstores everywhere, and many churches. If anyone is even remotely awake in the world, they will know that Aslan is written to be the God character in the books. It follows that Aslan is the God character in the movie. What then does this movie say about who God is? What does is say about how God works? What does it say about how we who have been chosen, redeemed, and sent forth by God are to act?

Now. All of that being said -- I understand some, I think, of why this movie was adapted the way it was. It is much more relatable in our current 21st century world to have angst-ridden teenagers be main characters. It makes for a good story to have a very evil king, a conflict among even the good-guys for who gets to make the decisions, and a love story (which just really, really bugged me) between the like-aged girl and boy. Perhaps valor, honor, courage, calling are old-fashioned concepts.

I understand why things were changed, but I emphatically don't agree.

And I think, I would even go so far as to say that these decisions undermine the very essence of The Chronicles of Narnia. Lewis intended us to read and know that the Magic of the Creator of Life is so great that when one senses it, knows it, is claimed by it, serves it and returns to it, one becomes more than they can EVER, possibly imagine being on their own without it.

And the only way one can find that in this movie is to put it there oneself.

Just a little opinion.... :) You?

Menu Plan Monday: Back at it again

In my constant struggle with making a plan and sticking to it, I am returning to Menu Plan Monday (follow the link for more!). Last week, Dennis and I figured out an easy basic plan. Each week, we'll basically plan the following:

• Pork night
• Beef night
• Vegetarian night
• Pizza night
• Ethnic night
• Breakfast night
• Extra night (i.e. chicken, fish, leftovers, eating out, etc.)

These reflect our family loves i.e. pancakes and pizza, and the 1/2 organic beef and 1/2 organic pork we have in our freezer and Dennis' desire to have a meal he can make weekly! :) So this is our basic plan. We'll see how it goes.

More specifically -- this week, here are our plans. Not sure of which day will be which meal, and that is probably a good thing. The thing about schedules and plans is I feel all contrary about following them to a T, so a little flexibility is a good thing. :)

Breakfasts will be:

• baked oatmeal
• breakfast ice cream (yogurt parfaits)
• toast and jam
• Cheerios

Lunches and dinners will be:

• Buttermilk Chicken Fingers (markdown on a big pack of chicken tenderloins at Kroger this week.)
• Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup
• Pork Chops, Rosemary Potatoes and Green Beans almondine
• Spinach Artichoke Pizza, and salad
• Scrambled Eggs, Beef bacon, and Pancakes
• Homemade Spaghetti with Marinara Sauce, Garlicky Yellow Squash, Breadsticks, and Salad
• Beef Roast, Mashed Red Potatoes and gravy, and Sauteed Carrots
• Tuna Noodle and Mushroom Casserole and Peas
  

Desserts will be:
Homemade gelato!
Rhubarb crisp
Baked apples

We'll see how it all goes!

The glitterati of our family

photo and caption stolen from Roo

Posh and Becks stopped by.

(not really).

Back home

I have returned home from a brief trip to Eureka and my alma mater where we were celebrating Alumni Weekend. "Weekend" is a misnomer. It's actually an afternoon and evening. But I suppose Alumni Weekend sounds better than Alumni 8-hour Event.

I am on the alumni board of my college, so I was sort of required to be there, but I wanted to be there also. Friends of mine, T and his wife, were receiving the Outstanding Young Alumni award. I was happy to see that because I nominated them! T and his wife began a charitable foundation in the name and memory of their daughters who died at birth. Their foundation has been around about three years and has donated about $30,000 to our state Children's Hospital and also to the obstetric unit in their own city. Through tears, T told us the story of the foundation and related it back to the ethos of the college which seems to be, in short, "go from here and do something to make this world a better place." It was a great, moving celebration of how they have lived since college and I was really, really proud of him and really very proud to be his friend.

The day itself was beautiful, too. I stayed at Grammy and Gramps' last night and slept in this morning. As my grandmother said, "A mother needs a night of good sleep away from her children every once in a while." She was right. I truly enjoyed the day. The weather was warm, but breezy and the college was in its most beautiful state -- lilacs and flowers blooming, trees and grass green and lush, red brick buildings stately and welcoming as always. I walked around and visited new features -- a graduation brick pathway -- a labyrinth -- I've not visited. I walked the campus and remembered racing around the tall oaks that used to fill the area when Roo and I were little and spent some time driving around town, seeing many people out and about enjoying the day.

And I felt myself really longing for it all. My hometown is part of me in a way I just can't fill elsewhere. Perhaps it is because generations of my family have lived there. Perhaps it's because I can't let go. Whatever it is -- I feel at home there in a way no place else has fulfilled.

So though I returned home to my family tonight, I feel like I also came back to my regular sojourn. And into it, out of this lovely and renewing weekend, I bring the powerful feeling of being back home.

My fussy boy

Daniel is fussy. Again. I wish that this was an uncommon thing for him, but as I look back over the past 15 months of his life, I realize -- this guy is just not a very happy little guy.

Each time that he gets into one of these prolonged fusses (which always, conveniently, seems to coincide with visiting family we never get to see), I find some reason to excuse his punkiness. He has been sick, teething and tired for most of his life, according to me.

This time I'm fairly sure it's teething again. The child has all of his teeth except his two-year molars, and at one time, near his first birthday, had 8 (EIGHT!!) teeth all breaking through at the same time. He has teethed HARD since they started coming in at four months. Poor little guy.

And though I think this may be the source of the problem this time, I'm also concerned that there is something else going on. He is just not resilient, or adaptable and I'm worried.

So I've made an appointment with a doctor for a consultation in a few weeks. In the meantime, anyone have wisdom to share?

Narnia

I am so excited to see Prince Caspian when it arrives. I am a big fan of the Narnia books, and I really liked the last movie, and -- I'll admit it -- I was a huge fan of the BBC series on Wonderworks on PBS. I'm ready for Caspian.

And in the meantime, I'm enjoying listening to this set. I just love it. The Magician's Nephew brought me to tears. I highly recommend it for any other Narnia-philes out there.

Mental query to friends/ family -- is it in Eureka that someone has a NARNIA license plate? Or is that here?

Mothers' Day-ish gifts, belatedly

My grandmother gave me this lovely china that was owned by my late great-aunt. It wasn't really a Mothers' Day gift, but I got it on Mothers' Day, so I'm counting it. It is just gorgeous. There are a quite a few chipped pieces, but I will enjoy using it even more, I think, because of it -- less pressure! But if anyone has Noritake Chevonia for sale, let me know!

I got this lovely little easel from Dennis and the kids. I had requested it, as there is one like it at our bookstore that the kids just love to use. This one is for use on the back porch during the nice-weather months. It has the chalkboard on one side and a dry-erase board on the other. And it has a spot for a paper roll in the middle that feeds through the dry-erase board side. The kids most like using the eraser, I think. :)

And, of course, these are my best and most favorite gifts, enjoying a Saturday wagon ride with Daddy. Such happiness.

Where do you have photos printed?

I have had a terrible time getting photos printed at my local outlets. The colors are horrid and the pics are always grainy, dark and icky. Even SOOC shots are terrible and I KNOW 10 megapixels should be plenty to produce decent 4x6 prints.

SOOOO... if you take photographs and edit them in Photoshop or some other program, where do you get nice prints made? Online or brick-and-mortar, any recommendations?

Please go read this

Have you read Ann V's beautiful Mother's Day reflection? If you have borne a child, or are with child, or have lost a child, or long for a child, please, please, please read her words.

Wow.

Windswept girl

I love this picture. She looks so much like her daddy. I used one of Pioneer Woman's photo techniques on it. In its full size, it is wonderful, I think. My sweet, glowing, windswept little girl.

Daniel discovers ants

Poor ants. They don't stand a chance.

Annalivia likes to do her own hair

Fancy, eh?

Scenes from our wonderful day

We had just a wonderful day today. We went to church and then headed out to the country to the house Dennis inhabited pre-April to do a little dreaming and scheming. While there, Daniel dozed in the van and Annalivia got out and about in her Sunday outfit.

This morning when getting dressed, I asked her to get on her black shoes (very respectable Mary Janes) and instead, she came out with her red cowboy boots. "Can I wear these?" she asked. "They match my dress." They did, in fact, match her dress. She also wanted to wear a hat. So she did. The boots were great for clip-clopping around on the wood floor in the sanctuary during the Morning Prayer at church. *sigh*

And equally great for exploring Daddy's old house.
They were even going to take her straight across the field to Grandma's house when she noticed her cousins were there.

Instead, she and I walked down to Grandma's on the road, and Daddy and Daniel followed in the car. We decided to come home, get changed and the go back to the country, which we did.
Annalivia got to spend lots of time with Dennis' brother's two eldest children. They played for hours.

Our nephew demonstrated the finer points of tree-climbing in the orchard.

And our niece was happy to wear the dandelion crown I made that Annalivia would not wear.

And Daniel was content to swing with Grandma for quite a while.

We had a lovely time, going between the two farms, eating lunch outside, dreaming, scheming, working and lounging about. Late in our time there, Dennis and his mom talked about the possibility of us purchasing land from her at some point and she responded very favorably to that. We are very excited. It gives a direction to the next few years here that we just haven't had. And that is just wonderful.

In fact, the whole day was wonderful -- full of wonder -- and sunshine and wind and family. Lovely.

We have a new phone

New phone courtesy of Annalivia but she lets her brother use it.

My crazy kids

Thank you!

Thanks, friends and family, for all the birthday emails, phone messages, and facebook messages. I worked all day until 8:30 this evening, but it's been a good day. I have had a very blessed 33rd year. Y'all are part of the blessing.

My arm injury has made me gimpy enough that it is sort of hard to type and I need to save up for church typing, so I think I'll just post photos and few words for a while. Which will probably be a nice break for all of us! :)

Thanks again. I feel loved.