Memorial Day, apart. And together again.

Because Daniel had been sick, we had an odd Memorial Day celebration here. Dennis opted to stay home with Daniel and sent Annalivia and me to Eureka on our own. I got to hang out with the sisters on Sunday night while Annalivia played with Grandpa Bob and her cousin, Rhys, got in a visit to her great-grandparents' basement, and got to hang out with my sister Lil's children. She had a great time, but I think I had a better time with my sisters. I laughed so hard I cried, and this happened at least 15 times. It was magnificent.
On Sunday night, Annalivia and I stayed with Lil and Jake's family and then on Memorial Day, Lil hosted a breakfast/ brunch on her porch before the parade. The food was wonderful and the rain did not arrive. At 10:30, we lined up on the curb on Main Street, candy bags in hand.

The kids all stood and covered their hearts as the American Legion carried the flags by. The parade was very nice and we got lots of candy, mainly due to the fact that we seem to be the only folks who clap and cheer for the parade participants. This is a lesson that was imparted to us early by Grammy and we have learned it well. I'm always wondering why it is that people DON'T clap and cheer at parades. The good folks in Eureka, IL need not worry -- as long as there are McClures around, you will be applauded.

After the parade, we went back to the porch and Annalivia got to do more running around with cousins.

You can tell how thrilled my niece was to see her aunt. My brother in law looks excited, too.

Kalin was especially thrilled to spend time with me.


The brothers in law and my nephew did some conversing with my grandfather and grandmother, great aunt and cousin, and my mom and dad (none of whom got in the pictures, sadly).


Marissa was especially animated, and obviously adoring of her husband. She's like this all the time now that she's married to a good guy. Jake had to keep telling her to tone it down when he was taking our photos. She's just exuberant nowadays. But we love her all the same.

After the party, Annalivia and I headed north. She fell asleep about a mile north of Eureka and stayed asleep until five miles south of Rock Falls.

When we got home, we found a little guy who was doing much better. Thank God.

So headed out to the country for a windy visit to Daddy's farm.


And we enjoyed ourselves thoroughly.

Our first early morning

Today, we got up early for the first time this summer. We've been sleeping in so late, for some reason lately. But last night, Daniel stayed in his crib. He didn't wake up until 5:45 when Dennis brought him to bed. Then he fell back asleep and it was so light out that Annalivia was clearly not going to go back to bed after her 5:45 wake-up, so she and I got up.

I had sort of forgotten how nice it is to be up before children are awake. I got a nice shower and got dressed and dried my hair, all of which I usually have to do while Daniel cries for me to pick him up. Annalivia and I made breakfast -- PW's Apricot Bars, only with whole wheat pastry flour, less sugar, and this great jam that we get that has no sugar OR sugar substitute added. And now we are getting ready to wake up Daniel and go get milk from the dairy. (I don't think I've said here that we have found a place to get fresh organic milk about 5 miles from us -- for $2.50/ gallon!!!)

So -- that is the day so far. I have two important errands to run that I have literally been forgetting to do for months -- take Dennis' suit to the cleaners, and return shoes to Zappos. Other than that, it is a day for finishing the church newsletter and being kinder to my children that I have been lately. :)

I'll post pics of Memorial Day later.

Doing better

We are doing better around Casa McStew. Daniel has some antibiotic and is now eating much better... and DRINKING!! I'm so happy with that. I am now praying for a cessation of this rotten intestinal stuff. He is literally going through 15 diapers a day. And often, he is going through 6-10 pairs of pants too.

But, the color is returning to his cheeks and his eyes look less hollow and that is very good.

It is a beautiful day here in northern IL. We are getting ready to put in a very rudimentary vegetable garden. Basically, it's a pasta sauce garden -- roma tomatoes, onions, bell peppers, garlic and some lovely herbs. I'm excited. We have not been gardeners because Dennis' brother has supplied our needs amply with his garden. But we're taking the plunge and our little mini-plot will be lovely, should it flourish.

And this afternoon, I'm finally getting around to making homemade egg noodles for Tuna Noodle casserole tonight. I'm excited to bust out the Kitchen Aid mixer mom got me a while back and some new attachments.

I may have to take some photos.

Little D update

Our little guy is still sick. He's not drinking anything on his own. Dennis and I have been feeding him dropperfuls of Pedialyte and got about 16 ounces in him this afternoon. He fights it, but at least it is staying down. Today we were headed to the emergency room for dehydration when we got a call from the doctor's office. Turns out Daniel has a parasite. Right now, we have no medication for it and the treatment was going to be an IV fluid push, which we have been doing without the needle here at home. We have been bouncing between medical care providers as we've been figuring this illness out -- our doctor was full, then we actually saw our doctor, then our doctor was off, then our urgent care physician weighed in. It's been frustrating.

Tomorrow, our doctor should be in and able to help, I pray. In the meantime, I visited the health food store and got a natural remedy that I am also praying will help. If the little guy would just drink, I would be much less worried. But he won't. Or doesn't. And I'm getting a little freaked out.

My little sick guy

Daniel is sick again. We have no idea what is wrong, but he has been having intestinal issues and has been vomiting on and off since Mother's Day. It has gotten worse instead of better and he just laid upon me today whenever he could.

I hate it when my little ones are sick. There is just nothing to do for them; I always feel so powerless. Powerless, and also, unproductive. I can do nothing with them laying upon me, which is ok, usually. Except when it isn't, of course.

I am reminded again of how thankful I am that he is well most of the time. Even in his fusiness, he is generally well.

I should be always grateful.

Prince Caspian and a disappointed me (warning TONS o' spoilers)

I have returned home from seeing Prince Caspian.

And I have to say -- I'm disappointed.

Before I get to my review, I will make my disclaimers in the beginning here. I have spent the last week listening to the AMAZING radio theater productions of the Chronicles of Narnia that Focus on the Family (yes, really, liberal friends) has released. These audio productions are just astonishing -- the books are largely unchanged and are beautifully and movingly dramatized. I am teary through most of it, riveted to my radio and seriously have to stop myself from cheering out loud and running around, panting, it is so good.

(Yes, I'm a dork.)

ANYWAY, that is my recent background and that is my big mistake, I think. For the record, I made the same mistake with Harry Potter 3, reacquainting myself with the book right before the movie. I have learned my lesson now because I sat through the whole movie thinking, "Oh. I wish they hadn't done THAT..." Next time a movie comes out, I won't go anywhere NEAR the book, or an audio version of it, until far after I've seen the movie. I think.

Ok. On to the review.

First the good -- the visuals, of course, are stunning. I loved the beauty of Cair Paravel, the darkness of the Telamarine castle and the disproportionate numbers of Telamarines bearing down upon the Narnians. I thought Aslan (when he FINALLY appeared) was wonderful. The music was great. The actors were very good, I thought, and I really enjoyed the Pevensies in both this film and the last. I did like the roles that Lucy and Susan took in the battle, especially the brave and daring side of Susan. And I liked Edmund through and through.

Now -- onto that which I did not like, and I must add another disclaimer here. For me, The Chronicles of Narnia are full, nay -- bursting with Christian symbolism. I know there are others out there who prefer to read them without that lens. For me, it is impossible. So -- fair warning -- these are all subjective interpretations. I am not going to go through the rest of the review writing, "in my opinion" and "for me." Please understand that my interpretation is implied. You are free to disagree.

I thought the first movie did an excellent job of portraying Lewis' depiction of a world, full of both life-giving and life-taking magical power, as found in the book, The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. At the beginning of the book, it is clear that the life-giving power is latent, but it is not forgotten. Aslan is working in the memories of those beasts who are supposed to have denied him on order of the Witch. The arrival of the Pevensies re-awakens that deep knowledge of the life-giving magic, renews the commitment of the faithful, and the struggle to establish Life as the dominant power in Narnia is set forth.

The book Prince Caspian has an almost identical premise, only this time it is a bit more hopeless. This time, the Magic has been conquered. It has been denied. It has been supressed to the extent that it is now forgotten. Even the trees, which, though they had chosen poorly in Wardrobe by allying themselves with the White Witch, do not remember that ancient magic that is the underlying force of their being. Many of the dwarves and beasts do not remember the magical Life Force and those that do find themselves in a constant battle to affirm the reality of Aslan's magic to those who do not believe.

It is into this world that the Pevensies arrive, a year after leaving Narnia the first time. And when they return to Narnia in the book version of Prince Caspian, they find themselves leaving their old, English selves behind. They return to Narnia and their true selves awaken. Here they are the High King and his Royal Siblings. Here, they are servants of the Son of the Emperor Beyond the Seas. Here, their purpose is noble, valorous, and very much a "high calling." And though they fumble a bit, they are determined from the start to rise to their calling. And so they do.

And this is one of my main gripes with the movie. The characters of the Pevensies are drastically altered. Peter is fighting at the beginning of the movie. Susan is brooding. They have adapted to their English world NOT by taking with them their identities as Kings and Queens of Narnia, but by wallowing in their frustration about NOT being in Narnia. Since I believe Lewis wrote these partly as instruction for young'uns about how to behave as Christians, you can imagine that I don't agree with that interpretation. I understand WHY it was intperpreted that way -- more about that in a moment -- but I don't agree with it.

Upon their return to Narnia, the Pevensies do not awaken to their noble task and high calling. Instead, Peter blunders about, trying to prove himself and denying Aslan i.e. "I think we've waited for Aslan long enough" before he makes a disastrous decision about a battle. He is not High King Peter until the final fight and battle scene. Similarly, Susan is sullen and stubborn, allying herself against her brother the High King by siding with Caspian (the argument between Caspian and Peter being another ridiculous thing in my mind). At the end of the movie, we're not surprised that Susan and Peter are not coming back. They've made huge mistakes; it makes sense that they're not allowed back (which is something that would expressly NOT be implied by Lewis!)

When it comes down to it, I just MISSED the High King! In the book, Peter is valiant and courageous, wise beyond his years, humble, commanding, and faithful to Aslan. Peter was my favorite character in the book. And I think the actor who played Peter could have shown an astounding depth as that character in the film, were he allowed to do so. Alas.

The other thing that I kept longing to see in the movie adaptation was a recognition that The Magic is there, under the surface, perhaps deep under the surface, but there, nonetheless. There is very little wonder and delight in this movie, which contrasts deeply with the book. I desperately wanted to see the trees awake. I wanted to see Lucy sensing that the Magic was about to break forth. The lack of The Magic is most seen in the marked absence of Aslan from the script. I was especially, especially sad to see that they did not make a bigger deal of the four of them coming to see Aslan. In fact, it seemed as though Aslan was an afterthought at best and his appearance is only at the end when all else is lost, all human interventions and contraventions have failed and then he swoops in to do some punishing of the bad guys. Which is probably, sadly, far too close to what many of us really believe about God when it comes right down to it.

And this is where I am, perhaps, most disappointed in the movie. It seems to me as though the movie very carefully removes God from it. The focus is instead on human blunders -- pride, arrogance, and revenge. The lack of direction from Aslan then leaves no room for supernatural Redemption. The humans redeem themselves -- Peter fights Miraz, Caspian lets Miraz go, Caspian establishes a good kingdom, Peter and Caspian reconcile. None of this is credited to Aslan.

This would probably not bother me that much, except that Disney has created a brilliant marketing plan, hand in hand with Focus on the Family, Christian bookstores everywhere, and many churches. If anyone is even remotely awake in the world, they will know that Aslan is written to be the God character in the books. It follows that Aslan is the God character in the movie. What then does this movie say about who God is? What does is say about how God works? What does it say about how we who have been chosen, redeemed, and sent forth by God are to act?

Now. All of that being said -- I understand some, I think, of why this movie was adapted the way it was. It is much more relatable in our current 21st century world to have angst-ridden teenagers be main characters. It makes for a good story to have a very evil king, a conflict among even the good-guys for who gets to make the decisions, and a love story (which just really, really bugged me) between the like-aged girl and boy. Perhaps valor, honor, courage, calling are old-fashioned concepts.

I understand why things were changed, but I emphatically don't agree.

And I think, I would even go so far as to say that these decisions undermine the very essence of The Chronicles of Narnia. Lewis intended us to read and know that the Magic of the Creator of Life is so great that when one senses it, knows it, is claimed by it, serves it and returns to it, one becomes more than they can EVER, possibly imagine being on their own without it.

And the only way one can find that in this movie is to put it there oneself.

Just a little opinion.... :) You?

Menu Plan Monday: Back at it again

In my constant struggle with making a plan and sticking to it, I am returning to Menu Plan Monday (follow the link for more!). Last week, Dennis and I figured out an easy basic plan. Each week, we'll basically plan the following:

• Pork night
• Beef night
• Vegetarian night
• Pizza night
• Ethnic night
• Breakfast night
• Extra night (i.e. chicken, fish, leftovers, eating out, etc.)

These reflect our family loves i.e. pancakes and pizza, and the 1/2 organic beef and 1/2 organic pork we have in our freezer and Dennis' desire to have a meal he can make weekly! :) So this is our basic plan. We'll see how it goes.

More specifically -- this week, here are our plans. Not sure of which day will be which meal, and that is probably a good thing. The thing about schedules and plans is I feel all contrary about following them to a T, so a little flexibility is a good thing. :)

Breakfasts will be:

• baked oatmeal
• breakfast ice cream (yogurt parfaits)
• toast and jam
• Cheerios

Lunches and dinners will be:

• Buttermilk Chicken Fingers (markdown on a big pack of chicken tenderloins at Kroger this week.)
• Grilled Cheese and Tomato Soup
• Pork Chops, Rosemary Potatoes and Green Beans almondine
• Spinach Artichoke Pizza, and salad
• Scrambled Eggs, Beef bacon, and Pancakes
• Homemade Spaghetti with Marinara Sauce, Garlicky Yellow Squash, Breadsticks, and Salad
• Beef Roast, Mashed Red Potatoes and gravy, and Sauteed Carrots
• Tuna Noodle and Mushroom Casserole and Peas
  

Desserts will be:
Homemade gelato!
Rhubarb crisp
Baked apples

We'll see how it all goes!

The glitterati of our family

photo and caption stolen from Roo

Posh and Becks stopped by.

(not really).

Back home

I have returned home from a brief trip to Eureka and my alma mater where we were celebrating Alumni Weekend. "Weekend" is a misnomer. It's actually an afternoon and evening. But I suppose Alumni Weekend sounds better than Alumni 8-hour Event.

I am on the alumni board of my college, so I was sort of required to be there, but I wanted to be there also. Friends of mine, T and his wife, were receiving the Outstanding Young Alumni award. I was happy to see that because I nominated them! T and his wife began a charitable foundation in the name and memory of their daughters who died at birth. Their foundation has been around about three years and has donated about $30,000 to our state Children's Hospital and also to the obstetric unit in their own city. Through tears, T told us the story of the foundation and related it back to the ethos of the college which seems to be, in short, "go from here and do something to make this world a better place." It was a great, moving celebration of how they have lived since college and I was really, really proud of him and really very proud to be his friend.

The day itself was beautiful, too. I stayed at Grammy and Gramps' last night and slept in this morning. As my grandmother said, "A mother needs a night of good sleep away from her children every once in a while." She was right. I truly enjoyed the day. The weather was warm, but breezy and the college was in its most beautiful state -- lilacs and flowers blooming, trees and grass green and lush, red brick buildings stately and welcoming as always. I walked around and visited new features -- a graduation brick pathway -- a labyrinth -- I've not visited. I walked the campus and remembered racing around the tall oaks that used to fill the area when Roo and I were little and spent some time driving around town, seeing many people out and about enjoying the day.

And I felt myself really longing for it all. My hometown is part of me in a way I just can't fill elsewhere. Perhaps it is because generations of my family have lived there. Perhaps it's because I can't let go. Whatever it is -- I feel at home there in a way no place else has fulfilled.

So though I returned home to my family tonight, I feel like I also came back to my regular sojourn. And into it, out of this lovely and renewing weekend, I bring the powerful feeling of being back home.

My fussy boy

Daniel is fussy. Again. I wish that this was an uncommon thing for him, but as I look back over the past 15 months of his life, I realize -- this guy is just not a very happy little guy.

Each time that he gets into one of these prolonged fusses (which always, conveniently, seems to coincide with visiting family we never get to see), I find some reason to excuse his punkiness. He has been sick, teething and tired for most of his life, according to me.

This time I'm fairly sure it's teething again. The child has all of his teeth except his two-year molars, and at one time, near his first birthday, had 8 (EIGHT!!) teeth all breaking through at the same time. He has teethed HARD since they started coming in at four months. Poor little guy.

And though I think this may be the source of the problem this time, I'm also concerned that there is something else going on. He is just not resilient, or adaptable and I'm worried.

So I've made an appointment with a doctor for a consultation in a few weeks. In the meantime, anyone have wisdom to share?

Narnia

I am so excited to see Prince Caspian when it arrives. I am a big fan of the Narnia books, and I really liked the last movie, and -- I'll admit it -- I was a huge fan of the BBC series on Wonderworks on PBS. I'm ready for Caspian.

And in the meantime, I'm enjoying listening to this set. I just love it. The Magician's Nephew brought me to tears. I highly recommend it for any other Narnia-philes out there.

Mental query to friends/ family -- is it in Eureka that someone has a NARNIA license plate? Or is that here?

Mothers' Day-ish gifts, belatedly

My grandmother gave me this lovely china that was owned by my late great-aunt. It wasn't really a Mothers' Day gift, but I got it on Mothers' Day, so I'm counting it. It is just gorgeous. There are a quite a few chipped pieces, but I will enjoy using it even more, I think, because of it -- less pressure! But if anyone has Noritake Chevonia for sale, let me know!

I got this lovely little easel from Dennis and the kids. I had requested it, as there is one like it at our bookstore that the kids just love to use. This one is for use on the back porch during the nice-weather months. It has the chalkboard on one side and a dry-erase board on the other. And it has a spot for a paper roll in the middle that feeds through the dry-erase board side. The kids most like using the eraser, I think. :)

And, of course, these are my best and most favorite gifts, enjoying a Saturday wagon ride with Daddy. Such happiness.

Where do you have photos printed?

I have had a terrible time getting photos printed at my local outlets. The colors are horrid and the pics are always grainy, dark and icky. Even SOOC shots are terrible and I KNOW 10 megapixels should be plenty to produce decent 4x6 prints.

SOOOO... if you take photographs and edit them in Photoshop or some other program, where do you get nice prints made? Online or brick-and-mortar, any recommendations?

Please go read this

Have you read Ann V's beautiful Mother's Day reflection? If you have borne a child, or are with child, or have lost a child, or long for a child, please, please, please read her words.

Wow.

Windswept girl

I love this picture. She looks so much like her daddy. I used one of Pioneer Woman's photo techniques on it. In its full size, it is wonderful, I think. My sweet, glowing, windswept little girl.

Daniel discovers ants

Poor ants. They don't stand a chance.

Annalivia likes to do her own hair

Fancy, eh?

Scenes from our wonderful day

We had just a wonderful day today. We went to church and then headed out to the country to the house Dennis inhabited pre-April to do a little dreaming and scheming. While there, Daniel dozed in the van and Annalivia got out and about in her Sunday outfit.

This morning when getting dressed, I asked her to get on her black shoes (very respectable Mary Janes) and instead, she came out with her red cowboy boots. "Can I wear these?" she asked. "They match my dress." They did, in fact, match her dress. She also wanted to wear a hat. So she did. The boots were great for clip-clopping around on the wood floor in the sanctuary during the Morning Prayer at church. *sigh*

And equally great for exploring Daddy's old house.
They were even going to take her straight across the field to Grandma's house when she noticed her cousins were there.

Instead, she and I walked down to Grandma's on the road, and Daddy and Daniel followed in the car. We decided to come home, get changed and the go back to the country, which we did.
Annalivia got to spend lots of time with Dennis' brother's two eldest children. They played for hours.

Our nephew demonstrated the finer points of tree-climbing in the orchard.

And our niece was happy to wear the dandelion crown I made that Annalivia would not wear.

And Daniel was content to swing with Grandma for quite a while.

We had a lovely time, going between the two farms, eating lunch outside, dreaming, scheming, working and lounging about. Late in our time there, Dennis and his mom talked about the possibility of us purchasing land from her at some point and she responded very favorably to that. We are very excited. It gives a direction to the next few years here that we just haven't had. And that is just wonderful.

In fact, the whole day was wonderful -- full of wonder -- and sunshine and wind and family. Lovely.

We have a new phone

New phone courtesy of Annalivia but she lets her brother use it.

My crazy kids

Thank you!

Thanks, friends and family, for all the birthday emails, phone messages, and facebook messages. I worked all day until 8:30 this evening, but it's been a good day. I have had a very blessed 33rd year. Y'all are part of the blessing.

My arm injury has made me gimpy enough that it is sort of hard to type and I need to save up for church typing, so I think I'll just post photos and few words for a while. Which will probably be a nice break for all of us! :)

Thanks again. I feel loved.

Human voodoo doll

My arm hurts today. And when I say it hurts, I mean it really, really HURTS. I think I have a pinched nerve. It may have resulted from me moving a Clavinova up stairs with my husband on Saturday. But it has gotten worse instead of better. Today, I'm going to see if my chiropractor can see me. I need help.

The arm is the latest in a series of physical failings as I approach my 33rd birthday this week that move me to consider my decrepit physical state with contempt. If I didn't know better, I'd think God had a voodoo doll of me up there and was systematically torturing me. First, it was tendonitis in my Achilles tendon. Then my back was in pain. The the arm. Now my wrist, too.

Year 33 is going to have to be one of focusing on physical strength and wellness, I think. I have never, ever been comfortable focusing on or even acknowledging my body. I've got issues and history, to say the least. (And none of you who know me are allowed to use this post against me in real life.)

But it is ridiculous to be unable to wash dishes or pick up little guys. So something needs to be different. And now. Because everything hurts to much to wait much longer.

Prairie Girl and Farm Boy

Sunday evening was really quite beautiful, if a little chilly. We had an opportunity to take a dinner-time drive and went out to Dennis' mom's house in the country. The cousins were there so Annalivia ran around with them and Daddy took a moment to introduce his son to Daniel's late grandfather's tractors.

I swear this zen-tractor look must be passed down on the Y chromosome in Dennis' family.

As soon as we took him off the tractor, he fussed to get back on. It was a pretty sweet companion to Annalivia's braids whipping in the wind as she ran around.

She asked me to put the braids and bows in her hair on Sunday morning. I was surprised the bows lasted until the evening.

Especially since she was just a little more than a tad ornery all day.

Dapper Dan photo shoot (alternate title: Why it is important to keep the talent well-fed)

The other day at Target, I stumbled into an entire rack of little boys' Easter outfits for 75% off. It is just darn hard to find dress-up clothes for little boys, so I bought a bunch in sizes up to 5T. Today, Daniel was in a long-sleeved shirt, vest and plaid shorts. It was a little chilly so he wore the Easter jacket Grandma made him. He looked very dapper.

He's such an introspective lad, eh?

Apparently hungry, too...

What would be on your list?

As per a recent post about music, I have been trying to make a list of "essential" pieces for my children. It is, of course, subjective and, by no means, meant to be exhaustive. But I'm curious... what would be on your list? What classical music would you want your child to not only hear, but know?

The start of my list...
Bach -- anything and everything, but especially B minor Mass, cello suites, Brandenburg Concertos, Goldberg Variations
Barber -- The Hermit Songs, Adagio and Agnus Dei
Beethoven -- anything, especially The Pastoral Symphony #6, piano sonatas
Brahms -- German Requiem
Copland -- Appalachian Spring, Rodeo, El Salon Mexico, Fanfare for the Common Man
Durufle -- Requiem, Four Motets
Dvorak -- New World Symphony
Faure -- Requiem, Pavane
Gershwin -- Rhapsody in Blue, American in Paris
Handel -- Largo, Water Music, Royal Fireworks
Holst -- The Planets
Ireland -- Greater Love
Mahler -- Symphony #2
Mendelssohn -- Symphony #3, Midsummer's Night's Dream
Mozart -- anything, especially the Clarinet Concerto in A
Palestrina -- Missa Papae Marcelli, motets
Prokofiev -- Romeo and Juliet, Peter and the Wolf
Rachmaninoff-- Piano Concerto #2, Piano Concerto #3, Rhapsody on a Theme by Paganini, Preludes
Rutter -- Requiem, anything else
Schubert -- assorted lieder
Stravinsky -- The Rite of Spring, The Firebird
Vaughan Williams -- The Lark Ascending, Canon on a Theme by Thomas Tallis, choral works and hymns
Vivaldi -- Four Seasons

I have seen it ALL!!

Saw this at Tia's cleverly-named post "Someone Knit a Sweater for Satan". Wow.

Dinner cooked in a convenient kitchen

This weekend, Dennis put some shelves up in the dining room of our house. The parsonage is a typical ranch style. It has a little kitchen and very little storage (and Dennis and I are packrats, which does not help.) Up to this point, we had too much stuff on the counters, but Dennis' shelf installation allowed me to move pretties to the shelves, then we moved the microwave to The Impossible Corner and... voila! We have an entire counter on which to cook!

The lamp is not supposed to be there. It was Dennis' grandmother's lamp and one of the many projects he completed last weekend was re-wiring it and cleaning it up. It's there because it's a great little size for that counter and the cord is long enough to move it out of the way and then move it back to the outlet later.

I'm going to mooooove it because it's obviously a nursery lamp. But isn't it sweet? (We looked on eBay to see if we could find one similar so both kids' would have one. The one we found sold for $75!)I like the way it kind of fits in with the kitty cat cookie jar -- just like Grammy's -- and Annalivia's milk pitcher, which were the whole reason to put up shelves to begin with.


It's just so nice to cook dinner in a kitchen that is sort of functional. Seven years into my stay here, it's nice to finally figure this out!

Yikes

I do not have Photoshop for two main reasons. a.) It costs an arm and a leg and, more importantly, b.) I am infinitely capable of being obsessive and letting all else fester as I photoshop hour after hour.
Despite the fact that I don't have Photoshop and I don't have the familial energy to devote to photoshopping pics, I always read Pioneer Woman's Photoshop posts with interest.
Tonight, I went back to a post by the lovely Miz Booshay and decided to see if I could do the same thing in my JASC program I bought for $10 on eBay. Why, yes, I could. Then, for some crazy reason, I decided to read other Photoshop posts and see if I could do the same sort of things addressed in said posts in my cheapo photo editing software.
TURNS OUT -- I CAN!!!

It involves a little translation and some playing around with settings, but oh my goodness, I have an entire arsenal at my fingertips that I did not know I had!!!
Tonight, I played around with this photo.

It's of my lovely girl, but otherwise was pretty boring, I thought, underexposed and taken on an icky day. So I played -- cropped and lightened and texturized and so on and ended up with this.

Which just makes me smile.

And this is just the start. What in the world have I discovered?

Incredibly practical financial advice

For the last few months, I have been reading The Simple Dollar. It is a great personal finance blog written by Trent, a guy who has pulled himself and his family back from the financial edge. His advice is straightforward, simple, and well-written. I find that I am adding his posts to my favorites more than anything else I encounter. Trent has a great post on budgeting up today.

I highly recommend The Simple Dollar. You may not agree with everything, but you'll almost certainly find something helpful there.

Thank You, God, for Spring

I'm on my laptop working on the bulletin on the back porch. Daniel is trying to untangle a hose and Annalivia is pretending to water flowers. We drove up to have a picnic lunch with Daddy today and I had a lovely drive through the country while little ones slept. It's an absolutely glorious day.

I am so, so, SO glad Spring is finally here!

My thoughts exactly

Time to go get some coffee!

Overexposed

Terrible confession

I don't ever really say anything controversial on this blog. There was the time that I blogged about our Christmas tree, I guess. And recently, I suggested that making falafel could be shortcut by adding stuff to hummus. But usually, I say nothing the least bit inflammatory.

Until today. Because I have something terrible to admit to the blogosphere...

I don't really like other people's children.

I know that is not gracious, kind, earth-mother-y or pastorly, but it is true. I am ok with recognizing them as children of God, unique creations, beloved of their own parents, etc., etc., BUT I, myself, do not really enjoy them.

There are exceptions, found mainly in those to whom I am related by blood, and exceptionally cute babies, generally those whose parents I adore. But for the most part, I'm ok with not hanging out with another person's child.

I really liked other people's children before I had my own. But after having my own, I feel very differently. And it's not that I feel my own children are superior to all others; it's just that it takes enough energy to be with them that I don't want to be with someone else's children. And I certainly don't want to hug and kiss them and play games with them and have fun with them. Nor do I want someone else to do this for mine.

This is but one of the million reasons that I am not a daycare provider and never will be. And it is one of the million reasons we don't use childcare providers.

I don't really like other people's kids.

And I'm hoping I get over this before I'm a grandparent.

Ouch

I hurt my back today. I was doing a radical move of bending over to pick up mustard, salad dressing and jelly that a helpful little boy had put on the floor and the lower part of my back just sort of seized up. I have no idea how I did it. I was bending over angrily, though. Suffice to say, I have learned my lesson. Angry-me makes everything hurt.

This happened one other time in my life before Dennis and I got engaged and I attended a birthday party of one of his nephews. It was a bowling party and I was trying to be enthusiastic and energetic and very impressive, helping the little ones and spending most of two hours bent over. I wasn't angry that time. Just stupid. After it, I could hardly walk, but, I think, the pain went away the next day.

This morning, my crippling occurred as the kids and I were leaving the house. It got really bad after I had to rescue my son from an evil patch of grass that was ensnaring him, thus rendering him motionless and unable to walk. I came home, took some Vicodin left over from my wrist surgeries and laid on the couch. Dennis stayed home from school tonight and the drugs made me feel nauseous and sleepy, so I laid down in bed with Daniel about 6 a.m. and we both fell asleep. I got up at 11:30 p.m. and am heading back to bed now, with another dose of drugs. My back is feeling a little better, I think, but, truthfully, most everything is numb thanks to the codeine.

Is this what people mean when they say their backs "went out"? If so, I'm hoping mine comes in before morning.

Sacred music and spiritual formation -- some ramblings

After the concert last night, Dennis and I were talking about it, and he mentioned how much he loved the deep sounds of a pipe organ. I related to him a conversation I had with R, one of the members of our group, an organist who owns his own organ-building company. He is my age and fell in love with the organ when he was in his early teens, then went on to get a degree in Organ Performance and now owns this company where he constantly works with this instrument that so many churches are casting aside.

R and I were talking about the way an organ can elevate an entire congregation. As he said, the organ just seems to "wrap arms around you." There are few instruments that have that breathtaking and breath-giving effect. Perhaps it's because the organ's very apparatus is one of forcing air through pipes and thus "breathing" that it performs in such a way. Whatever it is -- it can be just amazingly moving.

I was thinking more about it and realizing again, for the gazillionth time, how much I MISS good congregational music. When I was growing up, the pipe organ in my home church, a lovely gothic-esque structure, was played by the incredible Lois Humbert. She treated the organ with such care and played it just beautifully. I remember my father taking us to church and him sitting there with his eyes closed during communion telling us to "close our eyes and listen to the little notes playing with each other." The music was not just hymns played dirge-like in the background, but toccatas and fugues and airs and all sorts of wondrous, substantive, and real music that twirled around on the acoustics of the nave and danced into my ears.

My parents continued to introduce us to sacred music as we grew older. We learned to play piano and Dad subjected us to all sorts of educational instruction about composers and styles and musical periods. (I remember being in the Learning Center of my grade school when I was in second grade and a teacher asked the group about symphonies written by Bach and I know-it-all-ingly informed her that symphonies weren't invented yet when Bach was writing music.) We went to choral concerts in churches and at the universities near us and listened to the great music of the church in all sorts of different settings.

And it became part of us, I think, to the extent that, when I wasn't really conscious of belief or doubt, when I had become unwittingly apathetic about faith, music was always the first thing to call me back to the presence of God. The Mozart mass. The Vaughan Williams and Durufle choral pieces. The Christmas motet from college. The Iona song cycle in seminary. It wasn't what brought me Home, but it sure opened the front door of the House and reminded me of how beautiful the Host had made everything inside.

Now, every once in a while, I get to experience really good sacred music and I feel like I am gulping down some sweet, satisfying nectar that I deeply crave and desperately need and seldom find. The music in the church I serve is... terrible, for the most part. We have a Clavinova now, thanks be to God, and got rid of the hideous funeral home organ, even more thanks be to God, but the music feels functional, seldomly beautiful and almost never treasured and savored and ingested.

And I wonder what kind of musical education my children are receiving. Will they learn to sing quietly and disinterestedly and to see music as a filler in the background for whatever it is that is going on in the foreground? Will they think that Jim Brickman piano solos and a choir singing the melody on absolutely everything and a praise song played 400 times during communion is what music is supposed to be like? Will they ever get to hear a pipe organ that breathes around them and with them and lifts them up as they are singing Praise to the Lord, the Almighty at the top of their lungs? Will I ever get to make them sit still while Mommy and Daddy are carried up in the rapture of a beautifully executed fugue leading them to wonder what all the fuss is about?

This morning we are listening to Vaughan Williams with the speakers cranked up high and I have just placed an order for some more cd's.

But I may have to become an Episcopalian after all.

Closet Episcopalian

Today we had our concert. In addition to some Mozart and Strauss, the choir sang three gorgeous, lovely, wondrous English choral anthems. It led me to contemplate for the millionth time a conversion.

My mom came up for the concert and managed to get in one of her trademark "BRAVO!!"s. She has them perfectly timed in that space between the end of a piece and the beginning of the clapping. This time, the piece deserved it. It was incredible -- 30 piece orchestra, full choir, four operatic soloists, amazing organ -- all singing full voice the words of Paul. I could almost not sing, it was so glorious. Mom said she felt like she was lifted out of her seat by it and that if anyone had looked at her, they would have seen a beam of light shooting out of her head. The whole audience leapt to their feet in applause. We were all glowing afterwards.

After the concert, on our way home, we realized we had sent my drivers license home with Mom, so, thanks to miracle of cell phones, she turned back and we intersected her in the country. It was lovely to spend a little more time with Dennis, right in that sweet time before the sun sets. It was a beautiful day and the light was just enchanting, the birds singing, and the grass smelling sweet and warm. It was a perfect concert, in and of itself, a little Spring symphony to end the day.

Concert

Tomorrow is my first concert with the Canterbury Singers. I am excited. I get to sing soprano (I never get to sing soprano) on this song (and sing a big high A!) and it is going through my head constantly!

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can the floods drown it.

Have I mentioned how happy I am to be able to sing again?

Date night

Dennis and I got to go on a date tonight. We went over to the Quad Cities. We had a nice drive down -- it was drizzling, but the grass has become bright green this week, the bluettes are carpeting farmhouse lawns, and we have flocks and flocks of pelicans in our area right now, pausing here as they migrate north. We stopped at a Christian bookstore and picked up some little presents for door prizes for the Mother's Day breakfast, then went to the hospital so I could visit a quasi-parishioner (thus qualifying this date for a mileage reimbursement). Then we had dinner at a local pizza place -- a dive in the best sense with very good, slightly quirky pizza. Then we headed home.

And when we got home, my mother in law had the children in bed and the house straightened up and vacuumed. She is so incredibly generous sometimes.

This was a very, very nice evening.

How high the moon

Yesterday late afternoon, I pointed out the moon in the sky to Annalivia.

"Look, Annalivia! It's the moon."

Annalivia replied with an overly-enunciated and pointedly-patient tone. "I don't like the moon, Mommy. I like the sun. Daniel likes the moon." She said it as though I constantly confuse the affinities of her and her brother, my 14-month old child who, so far, can say "MAAAAAAHHHHHHEEE!" and that's about it.

I wonder when Daniel mentioned to her that he was fond of the moon.

Redbox, Redbox, how I love thee...

Do y'all know about Redbox?

Redbox is a movie rental system that is in places all over the country. I had heard about it a while ago and didn't think there were any Redboxes around here, but the other day, I realized we had one at a grocery store I rarely visit across the river. Then I read The Centsible Sawyer's post about Redbox and realized I needed to get on board.

There are several truly great things about Redbox.

1. Rentals are $1/ day.

2. There are almost always codes available for free rentals.

3. They have lots of new releases.

4. They are quick and pretty convenient.

So far, we've rented Dan in Real Life, Barbie Mariposa :), The Dark is Rising: The Seeker, and Catch and Release -- for FREE!! They were all in great condition and it has been really nice to try out new movies for FREE!!

Book winner

Announced on that post! :)

Mommying in the midst of it

A beloved one is celebrating a new pregnancy at the same time that she is called to do some pretty big things by God. Last night she was wondering how it will all work.

I am thinking about that tonight because it is almost midnight and I am finishing up a homily for a funeral tomorrow. I need to go to bed because I actually have two back-to-back funerals tomorrow. The first is at 10 a.m. The second is at noon. They are both for folks who were baptized in our church and have not been involved at all. The second is for a 33-year old man.

This morning a dear, dear husband of a beloved member of our congregation passed away -- FAR too early after a brief and devastating struggle with cancer. I missed the first two phone calls this morning from the wife. The third I got because my daughter had brought the phone to me and placed it by my sleeping head.

The next few days are shaping up to be a bit overwhelming. Tomorrow it's two funerals and a meeting about the church's ailing investments in the evening. Friday is a meeting in the morning, followed by coordinating the funeral with the Catholic priest (the deceased was baptized and confirmed Catholic, but has been worshipping at our church for 40 years), a presentation to concerned congregants involving a new clavinova, an impromptu choir rehearsal and, hopefully, a date with my guy. Saturday morning Dennis has a meeting and then I a meeting with the deceased's family. Sunday is church with said clavinova, a board meeting, the visitation for the deceased, and my choir rehearsal, and then a dear friend is coming to visit. Monday is the funeral and party for dear friend.

In the midst of this, there are meals to plan and cook and CVS to visit for diapers and milk and, most importantly, children who will need attention. They will need time to be with me, too.

Occasionally, at moments like this, I think it may not have been the smartest idea in the world to keep the kids with me non-stop. I end up writing sermons at midnight and showering at 1 a.m. Sometimes I think it would be easier if we had regularly scheduled separation from each other.

But, for me, in my little church, these times are few and far between. And tonight, I know a little body will press up against me after they are both in bed with us or Daniel will run/trip over to me and pull on me until I pick him up and he can settle into the crook of my arm with a bottle or Annalivia will say something like, "Mommy, you are my dearest darling Mommy-toes!" tomorrow. And even as I'm trying to get out of the house with nylons unscathed by little hands, it will all make sense once again.

God has called me to some pretty big things, I believe.

It will all work.

Free money!! (really!)

Have you heard about Revolution Money Exchange? It is similar to Paypal and if you sign up before April 15, you will get a free $25 for doing so.

AND you can refer friends and if they sign up, you will get a free $10 credited to your account, up to $500.

If you think it's something you'd like to do, please consider clicking through on my link!


FYI -- this is totally completely legitimate and above-board!

April's clergy-tax tip of the day*

If you have difficulties with the whole quarterly-estimate thing and you are married and file jointly, you can have your spouse withhold more from their checks and forego paying quarterly payments. As long as the government has it, they don't penalize you.

*this is the only day I'll have a tax-tip because I know almost nothing about taxes. And you should check this one out with your accountant. It works for us. We're getting a BIG refund this year!!

A little giveaway

I've decided to give away a very, very, very lightly used copy of the book, Deceptively Delicious by Jessica Seinfeld. It's a nice book, but I'm downsizing and think now that I've read it, I can use the concepts pretty easily without the book taking up space.

If you want in, leave me a comment confessing how you pull one over on your children on this post by Friday, April 11 at 5 p.m. central time. I'll choose by random selection. Feel free to pass along the news. International entries welcome, too.

My confession: I cut things in half and say, "See... now you have two!" in the happiest voice I can manufacture. I think #1 is starting to figure it out though.

Free Starbucks on Tuesday!

Tomorrow, visit a Starbucks at 11 a.m. Central Time and get a free cuppa.

Visit any participating U.S. Starbucks store on Tuesday, April 8 at 9 a.m. Pacific Time (12 p.m. Eastern Time) and Starbucks will give all customers a complimentary short (8 oz.) cup of the new Pike Place Roast™ to enjoy as they participate in a simultaneous, nationwide, coast-to-coast, coffee tasting conducted by Starbucks coffee experts. More here.

And lift a toast to your friend April who is, alas, too far from a Starbucks to justify gas cost for the free cup. :(

Big day

Today I was supposed to go to my alma mater for an alumni board meeting. I was feeling kind of icky last night and also this morning when I got up to get ready, so I decided to stay home.

It was a good decision to do so. It was an absolutely gorgeous day here -- got up to 63 degrees, I think! And as long as I didn't eat anything, I felt pretty good. Dennis and the kids and I were in the backyard most of the day and worked on it ready for spring and then moved on to the garage which is need of a huge rescue. We made a dent, which is good.

After the outside work, we came inside and everyone took a bath/ shower, and then Dennis and I tackled our hall closet. It's an odd closet between the bathroom and bedrooms that just ends up being junky. I needed a place to store all of my CVS finds, so we cleaned it all up. It's just lovely. Right now the door is open to it and we keep walking by and sighing because it all looks so nice.

We are in the midst of a massive reformation and redistribution of our possessions. What we should have done when Dennis and I got married and conflated our stuff into one ranch style home, we are doing now with lots of kids' stuff thrown in the mix. We have big plans and the garage and hall closet are key to all of them.

I am going to start taking before and after pictures. Hopefully, by the time summer is over, no one will recognize this house!

What happened here?

The entire contents of Annalivia's room and closet dumped on the floor.

Me: Annalivia! What happened here?!?
Annalivia: I was trying to make a mountain!

Toy management

We have too many toys.
I strongly suspect that little elves sneak in here during the night and add more toys to the fracas, but that theory has yet to be proved.
Last night Dennis and I went through the toys and put a TON of them in a plastic bag to be sold at our spring garage sale (which we ARE going to have, darn it!). We got rid of all the cheap plastic toys, some stuffed animals and all of the electronic things, or anything that makes noise by itself.
A while ago, my mom had read somewhere that a family handled their plethora of toys by dividing them up into several containers and each day a new container was brought forth. At the end of the day, the toys were put away.
I personally thought this was brilliant. We have tried putting away some for a month or so, but there is still just too much choice. And while that probably means that we should just get rid of a whole lotta the toys, the kids really DO play with ALL of those that are left after our purging. And, honestly, Dennis and I are suckers because we think the remainder are cool toys!
SO -- anyway, we divided up the remainder, into some bins. We've got wooden toys, puzzles, a shape sorter and a bead game in one. The wooden kitchen range, pots and pans and teaset and food are in another. All of the Little People stuff is in one set of bins. Another has the Thomas trainsets. Another has cars and other "things that go". And the final one has some plastic animals in it. The last bin will eventually hold dress-up stuff, I think. Annalivia has her dolls and some stuffed animals in her bedroom. Daniel has a little box that can be added to at some point when he claims his own toys. And I think I'm going to develop a little box of Waldorf-esque dolls for Annalivia to take in the car and add the wood clackers, etc to it for Daniel.
I'd imagine that this system will have to be tweaked as the kids grow older. Right now, Annalivia plays with all of those things and Daniel plays with whatever Annalivia is playing with. Maybe their choices will differentiate at some point.
But I'm thinking that for now this will work better for us.

Today is Little People day. So far it's been a big hit.

UPDATE! CLEAN-UP IS A BREEZE!! TWO MINUTES. LITERALLY!! HURRAH!!

Pizza monster

Annalivia has become a little pizza-holic. Whenever we ask her what she wants to eat she says, "How about some pizza?"
Yesterday we got up in the morning and she wanted pizza. We actually got pizza for lunch after a long, long doctor's appointment and she had no sooner finished eating it than she said, "Maybe we could have some pizza for dinner."
Today she had just finished eating lunch and asked, "Mommy, can I have some pizza?"
I think if she had nothing but pizza and chocolate, she would be a very happy girl.

April Veriditas

I had a professor in seminary who, in addition to being brilliant and articulate, was also one of the kindest persons I ever met. She was a true gift to all of those who studied under her.

When I met her, she had just finished writing a book on the mystics and was awash with all sorts of wonderful imagery. One day in class, she mentioned Hildegard von Bingen's concept of veriditas, the "greening of the soul," in which the soul become lush, fertile, verdant, and welcoming to the seed of God's grace planted therein.

I have been thinking about this month of April and have decided that, as the Earth greens and the blogosphere begins teeming with posts on how to be more ecologically responsible or fashionably "Green", that I would take the opportunity to do some spiritual greening. I've got some changes to make if I want to experience some significant spiritual blossoming, and this seems to be the perfect time to prepare the soil of my heart.

Anyone else needing some spiritual gardening?