Advent prayer: Open our eyes

Open our eyes, Lord,
especially if they are half shut
because we are tired of looking,
or half open
because we fear we see to much,
or bleared with tears
because yesterday and today and tomorrow
are filled with the same pain,
or contracted,
because we only look at what we want to see.

Open our eyes, Lord,
to gently scan the life we lead,
the home we have,
the world we inhabit,
and so to find,
among the gremlins and the greyness,
signs of hope we can fasten on and encourage.

Give us, whose eyes are dimmed by familiarity,
a bigger vision of what you can do
even with hopeless cases and lost causes
and people of limited ability.



Show us the world as in your sight,
riddled by debt, deceit and disbelief
yet also
shot through with possibility
for recover, renewal, redemption.



And lest we fail to distinguish vision from fantasy,
today, tomorrow, this week,
open our eyest to one person or one place,
where we - being even for a moment prophetic -
might identify and wean a potential in the waiting.


And with all this,
open our eyes, in yearning, for Jesus.


On the mountains,
in the cities,
through the corridors of power
and streets of despair.
to help, to heal,
to confront, to convert,
O come, O come, Immanuel.

- from Cloth for the Cradle by the Iona Community Wild Goose Worship Group
(emphasis mine)

Fa-la-la-la-la Friday Five

'Tis the season to deck the blogs with Boston Charlie, as Gramps would say... So, here y'are RevGals.

1. A favorite 'secular' Christmas song.

I love Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas as sung by Ella Fitzgerald. I also love the Glenn Miller Band's version of the Nutcracker Suite. That's great background music for Christmas parties.

2. Christmas song that chokes you up (maybe even in spite of yourself--the cheesier the better)

Breath of Heaven -- the one sung by Amy Grant, especially since becoming a mother. I remember thinking it was SO melodramatic when it first came out. Now it gets me every time. Of course, that could be gestational hormones...

3. Christmas song that makes you want to stuff your ears with chestnuts roasted on an open fire.

O Holy Night. Mainly because it's usually sung by people who have no business singing it. Unless you are of the caliber of Julie Andrews back when she could sing (and have independent varification from someone not-related to you and not in any way associated with the show American Idol or its knock-offs), please, spare us...

4. The Twelve Days of Christmas: is there *any* redeeming value to that song? Discuss.

It was made into a kick-rear pop-up book by Robert Sabuda. And one of my favorite ornaments is a buckeye pod from Eureka College campus painted to look like a pear. That's redeeming enough for me.

5. A favorite Christmas album

I love the Boston Camerata's A Medieval Christmas, A Renaissance Christmas and A Baroque Christmas boxed set. They get a lot of play time here. Secularly, Have Yourself a Jazzy Little Christmas tops my list!

Light looked down

Light looked down
and saw darkness.
"I will go there," said Light.

Peace looked down
and saw war.
"I will go there," said Peace.

Love looked down
and saw hatred.
"I will go there," said Love.

So he,
the Lord of Light,
the Prince of Peace,
the King of Love,
came down
and crept in
beside us.

-from Cloth for the Cradle by the Iona Community Wild Goose Worship Group

Jesus goes deep

Overheard at my house as Dennis and Annalivia played with the Fisher Price nativity set:
"Ok, line up. We're going to do the quarterback sneak..."

A small leap for the technologically impaired

I am rejoicing because it is 11:30 p.m. and I am headed to bed. No, the house is not clean, the guest room is not made up for my sister's family's visit on Friday, the Christmas tree is not unpacked or decorated, BUT I have managed to finally finish a picture that can go out in our Christmas cards. This project has been driving me nuts for weeks and thanks to Crystal and her digital scrapbooking genius, I learned how to cut and paste in my computer program that has been tormenting me forever. So, now I can go to bed with one small thing on the large list of to-do's finished at last. G'night!

The Marleys were dead to begin with...

We are watching The Muppet's Christmas Carol which is one of my all-time favorite Christmas movies. I love it for several reasons.

First, it's the Muppets, and the best of the muppets, in my opinion. The hilarity, sarcasm, wit and absurdity of traditional muppet features is perfectly framed by the classic story -- multiple opportunities for creativity, but the story provides the fence the muppets folks need to stay on task.

Second, the story is really very faithful to Dickens and the sense of impending doom present throughout most of the story. At the same time, it is provided a levity by the presence of the Muppets that just isn't present in most Christmas Carol adaptations.

Third, the music is some of the most catchy, yet meaningful ever in a children's movie. I like it all, with the exception of Belle's solo which is just too long and also manages to stick like glue in my head.

Fourth, and perhaps most importantly, Michael Caine is a brilliant, brilliant Scrooge. If you just saw clips of him in this movie, you would think he was starring opposite some of the most acclaimed actors and actresses in the world rather than Kermit and Mis Piggy. He portrays the unreformed Scrooge with a seething crustiness that belies an inner self-consciousness which he reveals tenderly post-reformation. While the Scrooge of Christmas eve is painfully brusque, the Scrooge of Christmas day is almost painfully awkward and hesitant. I love this transformation and I seriously think Caine is the best Scrooge ever. Really.

Fifth, I can watch it a hundred times and find something new each time and it's a movie that the whole family can watch. How many movies can you find that fit that bill?

So now it's back to Kermy and the gang. God bless us, every one!

My amazing husband -- chapter 3,489,563

Right now, Dennis is hiding out in the bathroom after trying to get Annalivia asleep (she took a looooooong nap today) after giving her a bath after washing dishes with her after climbing under the stairs to get our Christmas decorations out after playing with her for an hour and a half while I was at the board meeting after feeding her after running and getting pizza after working after waking up at 4:30 after going to bed at 11 after playing with Annalivia for hours after going to choir and putting up with crazy women after fixing dinner for us while I was at the doctors after meeting me there to switch cars after working after waking up at 4:30 after going to bed at 11...
He is just the most astonishing guy ever. Really. I don't know how I lucked out that this guy foolishly agreed to let his pastor seduce him, but I am blessed, pure and simple, by every moment of every day that he has spent and is spending and will spend with me and our children. What an amazing, amazing man.

Talking for me

So often I am so very inarticulate, especially the more pregnant I become. Or I'm lazy and don't take the time to spin out the many ponderings of my heart.
Imagine my joy today when I found that wonderful, amazing, and incredibly articulate Sarah is voicing what I haven't, but have wanted to for some time, though she does it far more beautifully and faithfully that I could. Check it out here.
And thank you again, Sarah, for using that heart of yours so generously!

Recipe of desperation: Lemon Curd Coffeecake

It is now the eleventh hour, literally, and I am waiting for a coffeecake to finish cooking so that I may take it to tomorrow's Cookies 'n' More Sale at First Christian Church where it will not be sold, but will be given out for free to anyone who is not scared away by its exotic gorgeousness.
For some reason, I am a sucker for old ladies who call me to do last minute baking, especially when their sob stories involve great personal sacrifice, 12 inch snowfall and a retail establishment that remained closed today with our cinnamon rolls for tomorrow firmly locked within its walls. Tell me -- do male pastors ever stay up far past their bedtime baking?

Anyway, here is the recipe, which turned out brilliantly and looks gorgeous and was really quite simple. I created it and I must say, I'm quite impressed with myself.

Lemon Curd Coffeecake
1 box yellow cake mix
1 cup water
1/3 cup oil
4 eggs
1 package vanilla or lemon pudding (I used vanilla because I'm going for a Danish-esque sort of thing. You use what you want).

Mix this up for two minutes on medium and spread in 9x13 greased and floured pan.

1 jar lemon curd (if it has been sitting in your refrigerator for a while, all the better)
1 package cream cheese, softened (if it's not a whole package, that's ok, too)
1/4 cup -ish of powdered sugar. (I'll leave this out next time)
2 egg yolks
1 T vanilla (Grammy uses vanilla and a lot of it in all sweet things, so I do too.)
1/2 t lemon extract, if your curd is not lemony enough for ya

Beat this til well blended and pour down the length of the cake in two thick lines. Sprinkle with sliced almonds, if desired, though don't be alarmed when they sink into the cake.
Bake at 325-350, depending on your pan (dark/ coated less, glass/metal more) for at least 30 minutes, probably 40. Check it periodically and make sure that the center cake tests as done. Be sure to test the cake part, not the curd. Don't worry about the curd, it will set up as it sits.
I am going to glaze it with icing and then sprinkle with some more almonds, toasted this time, then drizzle it with a thicker icing when it cools completely. But, let me tell you -- I have sampled it. This is good stuff. I'm pleased.

Friday Five: Adventually

While it is not Advent YET in the liturgical world and I usually don't officially acknowledge it until it happens, since all my sermons are done (hurrah!) and most of the bulletins are finished (double hurrah!!), I feel I am more qualified to comment on the encroaching season than perhaps in past years. So, thanks to the RevGals...

1) Do you observe Advent in your church?

We do. And we actually observe it in pretty grand style, for us, since I've become the pastor. We use purple, by the way, which I have to admit is the only thing that makes sense to me for Advent. Blue -- not getting it.
Only thing is our Advent "wreath" is a HIDEOUS white iron candle stand that belongs in one of those late night goth programs on public access television. If you produce one of those, contact me and I'll see about accidentally leaving the church open to arrange a robbery.

2) How about at home?

When I was single, I tried. I always had a great devotional and an appropriately abstract Advent "wreath", I just never actually used them consistently. Now, with the Little Bug at the brink of awareness, I'm planning to figure out some more concrete (and consistent) ways to celebrate every day.
I guess I do mark it by not decorating 'til after it arrives, and generally Dennis and I have sat in front of our lit Christmas tree with the house lights off every night for a little while talking about life. That's a nice informal tradition I hope we can keep.

3) Do you have a favorite Advent text or hymn?

I love People, Look East. That's one of my favorites that we never sing. I also love Let All Mortal Flesh Keep Silence and O Come, O Come, Immanuel when it's sung well. The one that we use here which has grown on me to the point that I would say I reallly like it is When God is a Child . We use it for lighting the Advent wreath each week and I like it because it actually has the Sundays in the right order. Fancy that.

4) Why is one of the candles in the Advent wreath pink? (You may tell the truth, but I'll like your answer better if it's funny.)

To butch up the purple?

5) What's the funniest/kitschiest Advent calendar you've ever seen?

There are SO many. I think it's rarer that they AREN'T kitchy!

Blessings and buggers

My mental list made manifest:

Bless the Salvation Army lady with the loud bell and the louder voice who was standing out in weather with a 0 degree windchill in front of the HyVee grocery store in Clinton, IA singing Christmas carols with gusto. I was impressed and told her so.

Bless the HyVee grocery store in Clinton, IA for having a "Reserved for New and Expectant Mothers" parking place right near the door. Their polls shot up just by putting out that sign.

Bless the Whiteside County Health Department lady in charge of WIC who called to make sure that Dennis went back to work and that we don't need the services of WIC. I have never been so impressed with a government program -- they called within 48 hours of our accident in September, then stopped by the house because they knew that Dennis, as primary wage earner, would not be able to work for a number of weeks. He is blessed to have a good salary continuation program at his company, but if we would have had to avail ourselves of this program, I am grateful that it is there and obviously works like it should, at least in this county.

Bless my husband who managed to cram stuff in every nook and cranny in the garage to make room for the van in time to be sheltered from freezing rain. What a wonderful guy.

And on the other side of things...

Bugger to the gas stations in Clinton, IA that raised their gas prices from $2.11 to $2.19/ gallon in the course of the twenty minutes I was in the HyVee grocery store. I assume they did that in light of reports of an encroaching storm. Isn't that price goudging?

Bugger to the people who park in the New and Expectant Mothers space at HyVee who are obviously neither. Especially the middle aged men.

Bugger to Dell Computers who has really, really messed up our church account, from which there seems to be no escapable end since there is no ability to talk to ANYONE in the same department twice in a row.

And last but not least, bugger to me for getting all worked up over these things!!

Something to get y'all in the mood (or not)

Here is something worth checking out. You'll want your speakers on.
Here's some more info about it.

Friday Five: Giving Thanks

A la the Rev Gals, here are five people or things for whom/ which I am thankful this year. They are cliche, but true....
1. My immediate family
Dennis and Annalivia are the most wonderful blessings I have ever received. Every day I am so grateful that I get to share my life with them. I can't imagine what it will feel like when Sir Littler is born.
2. Being alive
Every day since Sept. 19, I have been thankful for the very gift of life. I'm ashamed that it took the accident to make me aware of that most basic of gifts.
3. My extended family
My sisters and mom and dad, and Dennis' family have been so helpful to us -- driving all hours at all times of the day to chauffeur us back and forth. They really are amazing.
4. My friends
For some reason, my circle of friends just keeps getting wider. This year, in addition to the faithful friends of auld lang syne, it has included some wonderful people I've never met and probably never will thanks to the blogging world. I'm grateful for y'all, too.
5. My church
Although I am an incredibly flawed and nutso pastor, they keep offering themselves to me. And although I don't appreciate all that is offered to me sometimes, I am blessed to be here and a part of this group. And, they make really great pies and cookies and chicken and casseroles and offer it pretty freely to others. There's a lot to be said for that.
"Blessings all mine with ten thousand beside...."

Fried chicken success!!

I have finally made fried chicken worth sharing with people other than Dennis and Annalivia. It has taken me literally five batches to finally get it, but I've gotten it, darn it! Hurrah!
So, just in case anyone is wondering, here's what I did and will do beyond this...
Mix flour with salt and pepper -- I probably used about 4 cups flour and four teaspoons salt and pepper for 24 pieces of chicken. Mix milk with two eggs -- about two cups of milk or something. Dip chicken pieces in flour, then in milk, then in flour again.
Fry in oil set. I fried in about 1 1/2 inch of veg oil in an electric skillet set to 275 degrees. I let it get really brown -- about 15 minutes per side on thighs and 10 minutes per side on drumsticks.
Drain on a paper towel and set in a 200 degree oven. After I fried everything, I turned up the chicken to 350 and cooked for 20 minutes.
We liked the chicken that was cooked in the oven and the chicken fried in the oil, drained and then eaten. The stuff in the oven made a very crisp crust, the one straight out of the oil was slightly less crunchy. The meat in both was delicious and tender and moist.
I'm taking the rest of the chicken to Eureka for my dad tomorrow. His birthday was this week and he's a big fan of fried chicken.
I'm so excited!! I can make fried chicken!!!

Another good jar gift

Here's a very cool looking recipe from Midwest Living.

Toffee Blondies in a Jar
1 cup packed brown sugar
1/2 cup miniature semisweet chocolate pieces
1 cup all-purpose flour
1 t baking powder
1/4 t salt
3/4 c coarsely chopped pecans (or walnuts)
1/2 c toffee pieces or butterscotch flavored pieces

To make:
1/4 c butter, melted and cooled
2 eggs lightly beaten
1 t vanilla

Layer in a 1 quart jar the following: brown sugar, chocolate, flour, baking powder, salt, pecans and toffee. Tap gently on counter to settle each layer before adding the next. Cover and store for up to 1 month. Or, attach baking instructions and give as a gift.
Baking instructions: Grease an 8x8x2-inch baking pan. In a large bowl, stir together the butter eggs and vanilla. Stir in contents of jar until combined. Spread batter in prepared pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 25-30 minutes or until edges just begin to pull away. Cool blondies in pan on wire rack. Cut into 16 bars.

You don't want to know the nutrition info.

Celebrity boyfriend alert

I was just browsing Netflix and found out that Clive Owen, my celebrity boyfriend, will be starring opposite Cate Blanchett in a sequel of sorts to Elizabeth. This one is called Elizabeth: The Golden Age and will be released in Oct. 2007.
Since Elizabeth is one of my favorite movies ever and Clive Owen is one of my favorite actors ever and Cate Blanchett is one of my favorite actresses ever, I'm pretty excited. Furthermore, according to the director, this will be number two of an eventual three. Very cool. October should be right about the time we get anxious to see a movie in the theater again.

Counting unhatched chickens

So, I guess proverbs are proverbs for a reason. Here's the latest story of visions of straight-stitched sugarplums that will, unfortunately, remain hypthetically dancing in my head only.
Yesterday, Dennis and I dropped off a big box of stuff at Goodwill. While there, I looked down and saw a Singer Featherweight sewing machine in PERFECT condition. It was shiny, black, had the foot attached and was gorgeous! I asked the lady there if they would sell it to me and she told me they couldn't and that they would price it and get it out on the floor the next day (today). I asked if she could take my name. She said she couldn't. I asked when tomorrow it would be on the floor and she said it would be there after 10 a.m.
I excitedly told Dennis about it. It's not that I sew well or anything, but when I was in seminary, I got a sewing machine from a dear friend whose grandmother passed away before I could afford to buy one of my own. It sewed a straight stitch forward and back and was in perfect condition -- had all sorts of attachments and it worked well. I sewed one thing on it and then moved it from Kentucky to Eureka, IL to Rock Falls, IL where it sat in its case in my basement for three years. Last year, I decided to do some decluttering a la Flylady and got rid of some stuff that had just been sitting around. This sewing machine was one of them. I researched it a bit and found out that it was a Singer Featherweight from the first year of production, in mint condition and was highly collectible. I sold it on eBay for $400.
So, seeing one yesterday, I had all sorts of plans for the money we'd receive after I purchased that sewing machine for less than $40 at Goodwill and then went on to sell it on eBay for several hundred. We are in need of a chest freezer and found a great model on sale last weekend at a local appliance store; we just didn't have the money for it. When I sold this sewing machine, I told my husband, we would have it.
Well, I got up early this morning and headed to Goodwill to get our machine. Turns out that the helpful not-so-helpful lady from yesterday had decided to put it out last night because "someone wanted it." It was gone this morning, though the folks this morning took my name just in case it had been set aside somewhere (and wondered why I hadn't thought of giving my name yesterday -- hrmph). So... no sewing machine, no hundreds of dollars, no sugarplums, no chest freezer.
That was one big unhatched chicken.

Return to normalcy -- sort of

Well, today, Dennis got up at 5:30 to go back to work! This is the first time that he has been to work since Sept. 19, when we had our accident. That's a long time!
He is going back for five-hour days for right now until the doctor sees how physical therapy is progressing. I imagine that I will have a tired love when he gets home after lunch today.
I am glad that he gets to go back to work because he needs it. At the same time, I've really liked having him around and still getting an income! But it is time.
Annalivia wondered where he was this morning. She woke up and called his name for a while, then got up and ran out of the bedroom talking to him, then ran to the basement steps to see if he was down there. I explained to her that he is gone and will be home soon and so she moved on to Sesame Street. I guess things are back to normal.
With Dennis gone, I've realized again the importance of routines for me. Although I did manage to get the sink clean and house ordered last night, I didn't set up breakfast, so Annalivia ate a banana and leftover chicken nuggets this morning. Not the worst food ever, but tonight I need to soak pancake batter so we can actually eat real food in the morning. And I need to do little things like setting out my clothes and showering at night to make the a.m. more smooth for her. With Dennis here, I can slack off. Without him, Annalivia is left bearing the slack and that's hardly fair.
I was thinking about this last night and this morning -- about how much easier it is for me to handle things when Dennis is here, but also how much more I don't handle things because he's here. It is stewardship time at church, and I realized that many of us do this. We use our gifts only when it is absolutely necessary -- when someone else doesn't cover our slack. And in our church, I think we've created a self-perpetuating system to uphold this. We don't just offer ourselves -- all of ourselves that we can. Instead, most of the time, we offer out of guilt or worry or fear or anger. It's a begrudging giving and so it's not really giving. We feel like someone else is taking from us, and that's hardly a gift to anyone.
So I've decided to work on my motivation for giving myself to my family and church. It should be about Love, shouldn't it? The Love Divine who gave All should inspire me to give my all.
Or at least it should inspire me to make a better attempt at breakfast!

Junk

I am a pack-rat. I hate that I am, but I am. It is not in my nature to throw anything away, though I must confess that I don't put any thought into my saving -- it's not as though I contemplate the possibililty of future necessity of any item. I just keep it. And I don't organize it. It just builds up.
Now, for those who don't know me or my family, I should say -- I come by this honestly. It is ingrained deep in my psyche. My mother is, and her mother before her was. They, however, have/ had plausible psychological excuses. I have none.
To make this worse, I married a pack-rat. Dennis is also an indiscriminatory saver. And although this makes for a peaceable union, it's not exactly orderly.
Which brings me to this afternoon, when I spent about 30 minutes -- not very long, really -- throwing away junk from the garage. I tossed cards from my ordination, notes from lectures from seminary and beyond, receipts from Wal-Mart from three years ago. It is ridiculous that all that stuff was out there, but more ridiculous that I could probably spend 30 minutes for the next two weeks before I get through it all.
On the other hand, if I spend 30 minutes every day for the next two weeks, I should get through it all! Which would just be wonderful to actually know what is out there and want what is out there!
Flylady lauds the value of babysteps and 15 minute sessions and doing things in little manageable bites. I find it difficult to surrender to that. I tend to be all or nothing. But right now, a lot of my "all" is "all junk."
So my plan is to spend 30 minutes in the garage for the next two weeks and see whether a project can really be completed when broken into manageable bites. I have a feeling I'm gonna be schooled on how to get rid of junk.

Last minute church stuff

The fact is, the sermon for tomorrow is already done, (as are three sermons for Advent, I might add, not to brag or anything!) however, here it is, 8:15 on Saturday night and once again I have figured out a way to do church stuff at the last minute. This time, it's in the form of a pot roast cooking in my pressure cooker so that I, too, can bring an offering to the potluck after church tomorrow. I figured I've been riding the coattails of our injuries for too long, so this pot roast is going to become beef and noodles. Which will be done at 10 p.m. Which is still pretty good for a Saturday night, all things considered.
Thank goodness this isn't last week and when there were bulletins waiting to be created and folded.

Need some gifts?

Anyone needing some good gift ideas for some hard-to-buy-for folks? Check out the recipes here. I'm going to make some up for my husband's brothers' families who have all sorts of rules for gift-giving, most of which I've not figured out or ignore. These are perfect -- not threatening and the peanut butter cup cookies look mighty fine.

My new loves

Did you know that Lindt has come out with extra dark chocolate truffles? Divine. And pretty low suguar.

And this may be my new favorite bar. Marzipan, dark chocolate and cappuccino. Mmmm...


Neither are cheap. But wow, are they worth it!

Goodness. God sure did a good thing when God created chocolate.

Casts away

We are casts- free!!

Today we went up to Rockford to meet with our orthopedic surgeons and have the progress on our broken bones checked out. Turns out that our broken bones are broken no longer! They have healed in remarkable time and both of us were able to get our casts removed from our wrists and Dennis was able to have the pins taken out of his hand and foot! It's really quite miraculous!
It's also weird. My wrist feels so odd without support -- I find myself wanting to rely on my wrist splint as much as possible, though right now I am without it. I have very little rotation in the wrist and can't bend it forward or backwards at all, so it's off to physical therapy tomorrow. And we are both molting everywhere.
But for the first time in almost two months, I took a shower without a plastic bag and I was able to run my right palm over Annalivia's hair, though I left little skin flakes all over the place. (She was on her way to the bath, so it was ok.) It's amazing such little things are so pleasureable.
Dennis will go back to work on Monday with limited activity and hours. He's excited. I'm a little concerned about my energy with being alone with Annalivia, but happy for him. The poor man has been tethered to the living room long enough.
And in other news, we got our new van this weekend. It's a 1999 Town and Country LXI with 90,000 miles on it. It's lovely -- champagne is the official color -- and it has leather seats with the seat-warmer feature. Most importantly, it has two sliding doors. It performed beautifully on our trip today, though I think we need to have it aligned. It pulls to the right a little. But when you have a cd player AND a tape player, that's hardly a real concern.
Yep. We're high class now.
Oh, and if anyone reading this hears of a used chest freezer for sale in northern or central Illinois, would you let me know?

Pancake politics

This morning, we got up early and went to the Self-Help Pancake Breakfast. Self-Help is a local organization that provides jobs for people with developmental disabilities. The Pancake Breakfast is a semi-annual event and is the main funds-raiser for Self Help. It's also usually pretty good, so we try to go whenever we can.
In addition to having apricot pancake syrup, which I consider a big draw, the place is usually teeming with local politicians running for office. Since we are so close to an election, they were out in full force today. One of the more closely contested local elections is between Democrat Stan Steines and Republican Michael Albert for Circuit Judge. Both were pancake-ing today and we got a rather unique glimpse into both Stan and Mike this morning.
When we got there, Dennis got our tickets and got in the food line. I took Annalivia and grabbed a booster chair and went to find seats. Now, those who haven't seen us for a while should remember that we are both are in casts and limp quite a bit and Dennis has a cane and walking boots on both feet. We're pretty gimpy and garner lots of sympathy wherever we go, especially when our child is being particularly precious and actually walking beside us instead of trying to run away.
ANYWAY, I was holding the booster seat in my cast arm and Annalivia's hand with my other hand and Mr. Steines came up and asked if we needed help, especially in light of my injuries. He pulled out Annalivia's chair and asked if he could go get me a plate of food. I said no, thanks and that my husband was in line and I'd go after he came back with his food. Pretty soon, Dennis arrived with Mr. Steines by his side carrying his tray. When he put it down, Dennis thanked him for his help and said, "Now we need to get Mike Albert to carry my wife's tray." Mr. Steines kind of jokingly frowned and then said, "All in good fun!" and walked away.
Meanwhile, Mr. Albert was serving sausage. He was roaming the aisles with a plate full of sausage, but wasn't delivering a whole lot. When the director of Self-Help walked by and saw that we needed sausage, he yelled across the room to Mr. Albert and he came over and gave us each one piece. We remarked that he wasn't giving up that sausage very readily. My clever comment -- he's a Republican and must be pig-scally conservative.
After we left, we were jokingly analyzing the whole encounter and decided that all politicians should be put to the pancake test at some point. We spoke to Mr. Steines a couple more times and he was friendly. Mr. Albert came back and made some awkward conversation. He's much more reserved, at least that's our impression based on our sausage encounters. Additionally, Dennis decided that you could tell a lot about their deductive skills based on our experience with them. For example, Dennis said that Mr. Steines had come up to him in line and asked if he needed help and when Dennis said that he was going to be sitting at the end of the table, Mr. Steines asked if he was with the woman with the little girl. That shows that he's pretty sharp, Dennis said. On the other hand, he said, Mr. Albert had come up to him with the sausage plate and offered a pretty chubby guy only one piece. Not so sharp.

In actuality these guys are both good folks with really honest backgrounds and from reading their campaign literature, interviews in the paper, and articles written by and about both of them, I think our county will be in a good position regardless of who is elected.
But in Pancake Politics this morning, there was a clear leader.
And of course, this is all just in good fun.

A "booo"tiful night

Wow, I had a lot of fun tonight! The more I think about our little Halloween extravaganza, the more I realize how much fun it was! It was freezing -- literally, I think -- but fun! We had some great hotdogs (we gave away all but 7 including the 2 that visitors dropped on the ground) and the hot cider was a big success. We saw a lot of neighbors, most of whom expressed thanks for our recovery post-accident and many said we had been in their prayers, which was just lovely. We got to see the little three-month old baby of a neighbor girl who is just a child herself; she brought her daughter out specifically to see us. We got to talk with some kids from the housing project on the corner and find out a little bit more about them. We got to see some cousins -- Dennis' brother and kids stopped by and that was fun. In fact, Annalivia got to interact with lots of little ones without leaving the driveway and for two mostly immobile parents, that was grand. And most of all, we just got to be good neighbors, which, sadly, we do not practice often enough.

So -- I'm already thinking about next year's Halloween hot dog event and how we will make it more hospitable. It's such an inexpensive way to make contact with folks. Ballpark Franks were $.99/ pkg and buns were $.89. Throw in two gallons of cider and we're up to less than $10. And it was just so nice to do something focused just a little tiny ways beyond ourselves. So nice.


Here we are -- the King and Queen and their little pet Unicorn. See how much fun we had?

Happy Halloween!!

Tomorrow night we are going to be out in our driveway where we have bales of straw set up along with some festive pumpkins, grilling hot dogs, sipping cider, and passing out food and candy to congregants and neighbors who happen to trip by the parsonage. If any of you are around, feel free to stop by, too! A little unicorn will be very happy to see you!

My marital lie

The news of my sister's impending nuptials has brought to the forefront some thinking I've been doing about marriage and relationships. See, as a pastor, I'm in the position to impart wisdom about marriage to all sorts of folks, most of whom don't realize that I don't have any business imparting wisdom to anyone.
Anyway, one of the things that I usually tell these young, impressionable folks is that marriage is hard; it takes love and patience and work and compromise. It's not to be taken lightly, I tell them. It's a high calling and probably the most important human relationship a person will ever have. And while I agree with most of that, I've realized that I always lead off this conversation with a lie.
"Marriage is hard." That's my lie. And while I realize that for some folks marriage can be hard, for me, that statement is a falsehood. Because if there's one thing in my life that's expressly not difficult, it's my marriage. Working with an 80 year old church, forgiving my congregants when I feel hurt, working up energy to get to the grocery store when we need milk... that's hard work. Being married to Dennis Stewart is not in the least bit hard.
Now maybe this is because I married an incredibly patient, considerate, thoughtful, attentive, flexible, and did-I-mention "patient" man. It's so good that one of us is all of those things, because I've never had to work, let alone hard, to be married to him. Yes, I've had to compromise and care and re-frame and re-focus. But work? Nah....
In fact, the hardest thing about being married, is that I happen to be in a marriage wherein I am an integral part. The hardest thing about marriage for me is putting up with me! Working with my thoughts and fears and desires and agenda... that's what's been hard. This marriage would be a complete cakewalk for me were it not me in it! You know what I mean, yes?
So. I've decided that I'm going to quit telling people that marriage is hard work. I'm going to start telling them that it may be hard work, but that, in my opinion, most of the hard stuff should be applied to themselves.
Because as far as I've experienced, marriage is just wonderful. Divinely wonderful through and through. And I'd be lying if I said it wasn't.

Holiday hurrahs and hyperventilations

About three weeks ago, I began to get pretty excited about the upcoming holidays. I think it was right around the time that the weather changed. Then Flylady started her Holiday Cruise and I brought up from the basement my control journal that I filled in AFTER the holidays last year. I was excited to get it all going, but I have to confess that I haven't put a whole lot of effort into it yet.
Well, now I have motivation. My beloved sistah, Marissa/ Roo, who is #2 in the McClure-girl lineup, is getting married to soon-to-be-beloved soon-to-be-brother-in-law, Matt!! HURRAH!!! Thing is -- they are probably getting married on Dec. 23. That's Saturday, Dec. 23. That's Saturday Dec. 23, before Sunday Dec. 24. That's Saturday Dec. 23 before Sunday Dec. 24 which is Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve -- big day for pastors, let alone when it falls on Sunday and said pastors will be 34 weeks pregnant with a fairly complicated pregnancy. Hyperventilations.
So. It's going to be important... nay, crucial and essential that the holiday be brilliantly coordinated.
Which will be a huge change for me. I always have great intentions at this time of year, and by the time Christmas eve rolls around, I am still at church for 12 hours, running out to Wal-Mart at 3 p.m., finishing up Christmas presents at midnight, and going to bed far too late.
This year, it just has to be different. Has to be. Thank goodness for Flylady. Now I actually need to do the work to get it all together.

A very fine day and notes on being an aspiring domestic

We had a great early day here at Casa McStew! Just great. And all because we actually functioned like normal people.
The day technically started while we were in bed, but our day started at 4:30 a.m. when I got up to use the restroom, thereby waking Dennis up, and neither of us could get back to sleep. For some reason, Annalivia hadn't awakened at all, so we both figured that the reason we were awake was because we'd actually gotten six hours of good sleep and since we function on about four hours decent sleep and another five of toddler-in-bed-exercising-her-diggy-toes sleep normally, our bodies were just confused. We thought perhaps we should get up, but instead we just lay there and talked about Christmas gift-giving until we were tired enough to go back to sleep.
Anyway, Annalivia slept til 5:30, then came into our room and slept for a little more than two more hours. We got up at 8 and got ready for church and all of us actually went to church for the first time since our accident.
And church was wonderful! For some reason, lots of folks were there including one of our college students home for a visit. Dennis' sister visited from Chicago this weekend and was a big help to Dennis with Annalivia. My sermon was really good, if I do say so myself; I'm finishing up a series I called Christian Basics 101 and today's topic was Forgiveness. Folks liked it and it was actually meaningful, which is just a nice combo, you know?
Anyway, after church, we went to breakfast at our neighborhood diner with Dennis' mom and sister and that was only minorly painful with an antsy toddler. Then we went to Sears and Dennis got an incredible deal on a floor model scroll saw that he's been wanting forever. When we got home, Annalivia was asleep and she took a pretty good nap.
And this evening, I tried my hand at making fried chicken. For some reason, the ability to make consistently good, tender, moist and flavorful fried chicken is one of my great aspirations as a domestic. I don't know why. I just want to be able to make delicious fried chicken.
Tonight's experiment was more of a success than previous attempts, but I'm not really satisfied with it. A woman in my church makes THE BEST fried chicken ever. It falls of the bone, is crispy and full of flavor. It's amazing. She doesn't ever just give out the recipe, so I have to quiz her every once in a while with pointed questions, i.e. "Do you marinate your fried chicken in anything?" So far I've found out that she fries it and then cooks it in this special pan with an open mesh screen and she fills the bottom of the pan with water, which she thinks keeps the chicken moist.
Tonight I tried it, but I think I need to cook it for a lot longer and maybe at a lower temp than 350. Next time I'm going to try to soak it in buttermilk for a while, even though Gerri doesn't do that to hers and then double dip it. I've also realized that it needs the skin.
Anyway, my poor husband is going to be eating fried chicken every time there is a sale on thighs and drumsticks. Someday I'll get the hang of this fried chicken stuff. By then, everyone will probably be sick of my fried chicken. But at least I'll know that I know how to make it!
So. Thus ends the report. It's been a good day -- a very, very good day.

Friday Five: Word association

Five random words provided by the RevGals and my associations and some considered thoughts on why:

Whirlwind: Romance -- which, in my opinion, is the only way to have it. I told Dennis I was marrying him within the first two weeks. It's been bliss so far.

Foundation: Stone -- although the visual image in my mind was a keystone of an arch.

Lightning: Storm -- boring.

Den: Davenport -- as in "Grampa is in the den napping on the davenport" aka couch, sofa,

Prey: Birds o' -- and the visual image of this is my sistah Marissa and her excited expression as a sixth grader when she was particularly fond of spotting birds of prey on drives and I'd point out spots on the windshield as stunning examples. I've never been very good with animals.

Relief

We just received word today, almost four weeks after our accident, that the police report is finally complete and names the southbound vehicle as the culpible party. Now we can refer the hospital and anesthesiologists and surgeons and therapists and supply providers and other miscellaneous doctors to that driver's insurance. I don't think I can describe the relief this brings, so I won't try. Suffice to say, we are relieved. Very, very relieved.

A Pastor's Prayer

O gracious Spirit, I come before Thee.
Renew my heart, I pray.
When I seek Thee, do not stand far from me.
Come and fill me this day.

Let the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart
Be acceptable in Thy sight
Empty me of my incompetence
Fill me with Thy glory and might.

Let those who see me not see me,
but instead see the Son.
For it is in Thy name and by Thy power
that I pray these things will be done. Amen.

Clairvoyant Clergy: A brief rant

For some reason, every few months, my congregation conducts a highly un-scientific experiment to determine whether I am, in fact, not clairvoyant. Generally these experiments occur randomly, and I don't think they ever occur consciously, but I have noticed that they also seem to be scheduled for times of absence i.e. vacation, maternity leave, emergency care from a serious motor vehicle accident...
Today, I found out almost completely by accident and almost entirely by my own initiative ("almost" because I assume the Spirit is at work in this...) that a member of my congregation is in the hospital and has been there since Tuesday and that he is dying and that a group of 20 women in a Bible study knew about this Wednesday, including my mother-in-law, and though five (5!!) people called the prayer chain captain to tell her about it, everyone -- said mother-in-law, said prayer chain captain, the three elders sitting in the bible study -- all just assumed someone else would let April know. How does one explain that to a grieving wife and children? "Uhhh....yeah... I know that everyone else knew this and that you've been getting card and calls for the last four days and that an elder has been to visit, but I didn't know about it..."
Also at this time, one of our guys has suffered a stroke, another fell, a woman has had surgery and another has had a heart attack. Five people in various hospitals all over northern Illinois. Guess who didn't know these things either?
And it's not as though we don't have a system/ systems in place. It's just that by mass unspoken agreement, the decision is made not to use the systems, and -- voila! Ignorant pastor and congregation wondering why April isn't showing up.
Ugh. So tomorrow I get to give the semi-annual, "I cannot read minds" lecture, wherein I'll remind folks that I'd rather hear something 35 times than not at all. And I will try to make up for the absence of the last few days with presence in the next, while giving stern talks to my elders who, for goodness' sake, should know better.
And I'll start preparing for the next experiment which I assume will occur during the next maternity leave. Apparently, the fact that I always fail the clairvoyance test is not a deterrent.
Though, God knows, I wish it was.

Friday Five: Comfort, comfort ye, my people

With very cold and blustery sunshine-y weather and a congregant headed over this way any minute with soup and sandwiches for lunch, it's a great moment for a Comforting Friday Five from the RevGals.

1. Comfort drink

Constant Comment tea with a little bit of honey (best with shortbread, of course!)
When sick... really hot orange juice or lemonade

2. Comfort chair

I am in search of a comfort chair. We have a nice chair in our living room, but it doesn't just let one sink into it. In my sorority house, we had a great loveseat-type chair and ottoman that was perfect for homework and lounging, and probably snuggling, had I had anyone with whom to do that! I'd like a chair with that feeling someday. Actually, come to think of it, 10 years later, that chair is probably still there.

3. Comfort read

Whenever I have a chance to read for fun/ comfort, I always return to young adult fiction. Madeline L'Engle, Laura Ingalls Wilder, Trixie Belden and Nancy Drew, Lloyd Alexander, Narnia, Harry Potter...

4. Comfort television/dvd/ music

Well, we watch Intolerable Cruelty every few weeks and I love an Alias marathon whenever possible, but I'm not sure that's for comfort. Comfort music is mainly classical -- Bach's Mass in B Minor, or Rachmoninoff Piano Concertos, or Palestrina, or Vaughn Williams' Tallis. Hymns in a church with a marvelous organ and people actually singing -- that's the ultimate comfort music, to me.

5. Comfort companions

Most of the time, my sweet big love and my sweet little love. Other times, my sistahs. Sometimes my seminary friends. Sometimes my oldest friend, Trina, and a cup of coffee. And a shortbread. Shortbread makes everything more comfortable.

Anyone else want to play? You don't have to be a revgal! Let me know if you do.

A heartbreaking loss

I just received word that beloved Jenna's little boy, Ezra Lee, was born today at 19 weeks gestation, and did not survive.
Will you please pray for Jenna and her family? They had longed and prayed for this little one, struggled with the possibility of losing him, and have been through more than I can imagine.
My heart is breaking for this family this evening. I pray for a deep peace and comfort that can only come from Jesus. Hold them tightly, Lord, and don't let them go.

First snow!

Today, when Annalivia and I awoke, (we slept late -- hurrah!) we arose to a gorgeous day of blue sky spotted with clouds and a fine dusting of snow on the ground! We had French Toast casserole and cafe au lait and were very thankful for our warm house and beds. What a lovely way to wake up!

Our latest progress report

Well, lots has happened since last Tuesday...
On Friday, we went back to our surgeon's office and got regular sized casts on our arms. After the accident and our surgeries, we had massive surgical splints on our arms that reached from our elbows to the first joint of our fingers. No clothes fit over them and it was impossible to do anything at all. However, they did provide a lot of stability, which we needed.
On Friday, the folks at Rockford Orthopedic took off the crazy Popeye casts and we got matching black casts. The feeling of having nothing around our wrists was akin to some sort of vertigo. Poor Dennis was really hurting as they had to bend his wrist and fingers all around. But now my fingers are out and I can sort of do a lot of things. Dennis has three fingers available and the best thing is that we can both move our elbows, so sleeping is a lot more comfortable.
We were alone for the weekend and it went well. I did a wedding rehearsal on Friday night and a wedding on Saturday night, which was really quite nice. The couple being married are about my age -- 30 and 31 -- and really wanted to do the whole thing right. They did the counseling, read the books, took the quizzes, and above all, wanted to make sure that their relationship with each other incorporated their love for God from the very beginning. It was one of the best weddings I've ever seen. Really lovely.
On Sunday, I went to church. Dennis and Annalivia stayed home. Church was good, though there were probably half the folks there than usual. I felt like I was garnering a lot of pity by explaining why I wouldn't be driving much this week or preaching very long sermons for the next few weeks or hugging folks after the services, but in church, I've found that it's better to err on the side of communicating too much than not enough. Anyway, church went well, my short sermon was really really good, if I do say so myself, and I was WORN OUT afterwards.
On Monday, Mom came up to help out and she really was a HUGE help. She just does things, you know? And we had a surprise when my sister, Lillia, and her daughter, Cleya, came to visit. Cleya is 3 and Annalivia is fascinated by her. Annalivia had a great time following her around and Cleya was so patient with her. And Lil and I got to go through Annalivia's baby clothes. Lillia and her husband, Jake, are expecting baby #2 about three weeks before Littler McStew is due and baby Hartter is a girl. I am excited to get to share the ridiculous amount of clothes that Annalivia wore as a winter baby with my new niece.
Yesterday, Tuesday, because Mom was here, I got to go and get my hair cut, which was the first time in about five months. I was pretty shaggy. It's amazing how much better a haircut can help one to feel!
Today, without visitors and on a cloudy, cold day, we had a really great day! Dennis made a wonderful omelette for breakfast for all of us and we all ate around the table. Annalivia has taken to sitting on one of the regular chairs and was making both of us laugh til we cried. Then I got to go back to sleep after breakfast, which was amazing. When Annalivia went down for a nap, Dennis and I cleaned up and moved stuff that had been rearranged to accomodate the wheelchair back to original positions. So tonight we have a clean house and we were able to get rid of papers and put away things and things feel about as normal as they have since all of this occurred.
So. That's our big update. We continue to get better. And for all of these things, we are very, very grateful!

Our latest progress report

Well, lots has happened since last Tuesday...
On Friday, we went back to our surgeon's office and got regular sized casts on our arms. After the accident and our surgeries, we had massive surgical splints on our arms that reached from our elbows to the first joint of our fingers. No clothes fit over them and it was impossible to do anything at all. However, they did provide a lot of stability, which we needed.
On Friday, the folks at Rockford Orthopedic took off the crazy Popeye casts and we got matching black casts. The feeling of having nothing around our wrists was akin to some sort of vertigo. Poor Dennis was really hurting as they had to bend his wrist and fingers all around. But now my fingers are out and I can sort of do a lot of things. Dennis has three fingers available and the best thing is that we can both move our elbows, so sleeping is a lot more comfortable.
We were alone for the weekend and it went well. I did a wedding rehearsal on Friday night and a wedding on Saturday night, which was really quite nice. The couple being married are about my age -- 30 and 31 -- and really wanted to do the whole thing right. They did the counseling, read the books, took the quizzes, and above all, wanted to make sure that their relationship with each other incorporated their love for God from the very beginning. It was one of the best weddings I've ever seen. Really lovely.
On Sunday, I went to church. Dennis and Annalivia stayed home. Church was good, though there were probably half the folks there than usual. I felt like I was garnering a lot of pity by explaining why I wouldn't be driving much this week or preaching very long sermons for the next few weeks or hugging folks after the services, but in church, I've found that it's better to err on the side of communicating too much than not enough. Anyway, church went well, my short sermon was really really good, if I do say so myself, and I was WORN OUT afterwards.
On Monday, Mom came up to help out and she really was a HUGE help. She just does things, you know? And we had a surprise when my sister, Lillia, and her daughter, Cleya, came to visit. Cleya is 3 and Annalivia is fascinated by her. Annalivia had a great time following her around and Cleya was so patient with her. And Lil and I got to go through Annalivia's baby clothes. Lillia and her husband, Jake, are expecting baby #2 about three weeks before Littler McStew is due and baby Hartter is a girl. I am excited to get to share the ridiculous amount of clothes that Annalivia wore as a winter baby with my new niece.
Yesterday, Tuesday, because Mom was here, I got to go and get my hair cut, which was the first time in about five months. I was pretty shaggy. It's amazing how much better a haircut can help one to feel!
Today, without visitors and on a cloudy, cold day, we had a really great day! Dennis made a wonderful omelette for breakfast for all of us and we all ate around the table. Annalivia has taken to sitting on one of the regular chairs and was making both of us laugh til we cried. Then I got to go back to sleep after breakfast, which was amazing. When Annalivia went down for a nap, Dennis and I cleaned up and moved stuff that had been rearranged to accomodate the wheelchair back to original positions. So tonight we have a clean house and we were able to get rid of papers and put away things and things feel about as normal as they have since all of this occurred.
So. That's our big update. We continue to get better. And for all of these things, we are very, very grateful!

The balance changes

Today we got to get out of the house and head over to Dixon to my OB for an ultrasound and appointment.

While we were there, we got to see some great pictures of .... our son!

That's right!! Littler McStew is apparently of the male variety, totally and completely shocking his mother and father. I don't know why, but I was quite sure that was a little girl in there. So much for that.

Anyway, we saw our little boy and right now all looks good on the ultrasounds. Since the accident, our perspectives on this genetic testing have changed a lot. Before it seemed unthinkable to not know for sure. Now it seems most important that we know we are all alive.

So we're preceding a little differently. Since we knew we would not terminate regardless of the test outcomes, we've decided to wait to do the amnio. My abdomen absorbed considerable blunt trauma in the accident and it needs time to heal. Hence we will continue to get monthly or bi-monthly growth scans and if anything worrisome appears, we'll get the amnio. Otherwise we'll wait 'til 32 weeks or so, since 32 weeks is on Christmas day. This way we'll still have the info going into labor and delivery and minimize any risks to baby. And me, I suppose.

The only odd thing is that I feel like we will be holding back a little part of ourselves and our possible excitement til that amnio gives us definitive answers. But we'll deal with that. We are all here -- Daddy, Mommy, big sister and baby boy.... a baby boy!!! (how crazy is that?)

For now we'll focus on enjoying all of this.

The incident

WARNING!!! the following are accident pics. You may not want to look at them. They kind of make me ill.

Ours is the green van. We were headed north on IL Rt. 2 behind a tractor trailer. The white car was headed south and crossed over the center line knocking the back axle off the truck, then swung into our path. We hit it going 55-65 miles an hour. Here's what it looked like later, minus the tractor trailer.



The guardrail kept us from the river.




The damage done to the driver's side was from when she hit the semi.


We did the damage to this side.

We're ok and the other driver will be, too. Thank God!!

Another scintillating update

Dennis and I are home from the hospital. The surgeries on our arms went well. The damage on my wrist was much worse than the surgeon originally expected and it took about five hours to reconstruct the two bones with plates and screws. Since they had done a lot of the hard work with Dennis' last surgery, this one went well and as expected. The hospital experience this time was fairly excruciating. Lots of waiting, delays in receiving pain meds, and misplaced meals were all par for the course this time. We were glad to be home.
We are improving slowly but surely in marked ways that are very encouraging. Our sprained ankles are holding more weight more often, bruised ribs are less painful, and we are able to get up and down out of chairs far easier. Today Dennis figured out how to get on the floor and play with Annalivia which did both of them a world of good. And I was able to rock her to sleep and get her in her crib one-armed and only had to drop her a couple of inches ;).
Annalivia has had a hard time today with lots of melt-downs and such. We are hoping tomorrow will be more peaceful for all of us.
We continue to have great help from our parents who have all had to majorly rearrange their lives to be here. The church folks are kicking into gear a dinner brigade and a neighbor came down and mowed the lawn, all of which has been great.
And, of course, we continue to receive well-wishes via virtual and real-life friends in notes and cards and flowers, particularly this gorgeous, gorgeous bouquet of roses from my college friends and dear old pals, Amy, Remy and Sarah.
Anyway, we are here and getting better every single day. Thanks again.

When the adrenaline wears off...

When the adrenaline wears off, everything hurts. Ribs, fingers, shoulders, belly, legs, rear end... even parts we didn't know we had, hurt. We continue to be thankful for fact we can even feel the hurt, but, I must admit we are getting a little punky.
We have surgery scheduled for both of us on Tues. at Rockford Memorial to fix our arms. We'll be there at least a night, perhaps two for me, depending how the baby is doing. Hopefully, when we come home we can get to work on really feeling better.
Dennis will be off work for about 6 weeks. I'm going to try to get back to the pulpit Oct. 8, but we'll see how it goes. Since neither of us will be driving anytime soon, we're getting our Netflix subscription set up tomorrow. And I'm sure we'll be dealing with insurance companies ad nauseum which will keep us busy.
Anyway....
There are so many of you to whom I should respond individually, but frankly, it takes forever to type anything and, actually, kinda hurts. So, please know that we are SO, so grateful for your concern and prayers. It all means the world to us.

One handed thanks

Hi, all. Dennis and I are home and will be ok. Dennis is in a wheelchair and we are moving incredibly slowly, but we are alive and lucid except for the influence of Vicodin, and able to look upon and love on our baby girl, so we know all will be well.
I'll try to get on and post an update, or have my lackey/sistah, Kalin, do so every once in a while. We will both have surgery next week on our wrists/ arms and will be in the hospital again for a few days -- maybe even in the same room this time!
Thank you all so, so much for your prayers. The engine compartment of our van was completely destroyed, in fact the engine was on the other side of the guardrail, we hit so hard. I don't rhink there's any chance we should be alive, let alone blogging! I believe we have been covered in prayer for days and that gave us our extra layer of protection! So thank you all. Those words are inadequate to express the gratitude we feel.

A Post from an Outsider

This is Kalin, the youngest of the McClure 4 (as we are known on the streets and also in the old west).

April and Dennis were in a car accident on Tuesday on their way to the hospital to get the tests done on the baby. They managed to escape with some broken bones from what sounds like a horrible accident.

April said that they were driving on the highway behind a tanker truck when a car coming towards them crossed the center line. It clipped the back of the truck and spun around to be sideways in front of them. April and Dennis had no room to stop as they were only a couple car lengths away and they hit the car going about 55mph. Their van is totalled and the paramedics took pictures of it which the hospital staff have seen. Apey said they keep coming in and saying, "How are you alive?"

April fractured her right arm and sprained her leg and ankle. There was some bleeding, but the baby is OK. They'll operate on Apey's arm as soon as they can work out what kind of anesthesia and such they can use with the baby. The genetic testing will have to wait for a while.

Dennis had a compound fracture in his arm and broke both of his feet. He had surgery on his arm and left foot last night.

April's relaxing in the wing of the hospital created for mothers at risk. She's got a cushy bed, a private bathroom and a window with a view. Dennis is in a different wing on the same floor with an annoying roommate who kept the TV turned on loudly to ESPN until all hours of the night.

They'll be gimping around as best they're able, but since both of them broke their right arms things (IE: updating blogs) are going to be harder rather than easier.

Keep them in your prayers and thank God for protecting them.

Edit: I forgot to mention that Annalivia was not in the car with them. She was staying with Dennis's mom.

The pressure cooker: my new best friend

Avoiding all topics theological, I have not raved here about my new pressure cooker and the amazing difference it has made to our eat-at-home lives lately. I cannot praise it highly enough. In fact, I will make this shocking generalization... every family needs a pressure cooker.
Mine is the cheap-o version from Farm and Fleet. It cost $29.99, I believe, and is aluminum. If you are interested in getting a pressure cooker and are fazed by the sticker price on the all-clad and stainless steel varieties, heed not those lovelies who will tell you that the aluminum kind simply won't work. For now, it will. Maybe someday, I'll graduate. On the other hand, maybe I'll pass this one on to my children.
ANYWAY, the beautiful thing about a pressure cooker is that it makes previously time-consuming meals incredibly quickly. Which is wonderful for any busy person, but particularly the kind who forget to turn on crock-pots in the morning. Pretty much anything you can make in a crockpot you can make in a pressure cooker in under an hour. And it will taste wonderful. Trust me.
For example, in the three weeks since I've purchased my pressure cooker, I've made two chuck roasts -- one with potatoes and onions cooked together with the meat (done in an hour -- and all these times take into account bring the cooker to pressure and letting the cooker depressurize), the other by itself for 55 minutes, then removed and covered with foil while the pressure cooker cooked potatoes and cauliflower together for 7 minutes which I then mashed with milk, butter and parmesan; pork loin roast covered with apricot jam, cooked for 35 minutes; Indian red lentils, cooked for 15 minutes and eaten over rice; chicken breasts and rice with cream soup and mushrooms, cooked for 17 minutes; chicken broth, cooked for 30 minutes with onions, carrots, celery, etc. (it tasted like it had stewed for hours!). Check out pressure cooker recipes online to see the variety of what you can make!
All of these meals would have taken hours in the oven which in turn, would have heated up the house and used quite a bit of energy. I love that I can have these comfort foods on the table in so little time and with so little effort -- I put the ingredients in the pressure cooker and let it come to pressure, turn down the heat and turn on the timer. Then I can make salad or a side dish and we can still eat very quickly after the food goes in the cooker.
Tonight I'm making Tuscan Chicken, Bean and Potato soup from frozen chicken thighs because tomorrow it will be cold here -- only 50 for a high-- and we will be getting in from the hospital and testing a little late. So right now the house smells absolutely delicious and tomorrow we won't have to worry about anything other than heating up the pot and adding some rolls and a salad.
If any of you have a pressure cooker and have recipes you'd like to share, I'd LOVE to receive them!!
In the meantime, here's one for you!

Tuscan Chicken, Bean and Potato Soup
4 chicken thighs, stewed and deboned
5 cloves garlic
1 onion
2 potatoes peeled
1 can cannellini beans or great northern beans, drained
1/2 -1 tsp. rosemary (or if you are fortunate enough to have Herbes de Provence on hand, for goodness sake, use that!)
1/2 t. fresh black pepper
1 t. salt
1 T butter
4-5 cups chicken stock

If you haven't cooked the chicken, add it, the garlic, onion, rosemary, salt and pepper to your cooker. Cover with stock. Bring to pressure and cook 10 minutes -- 20, if frozen. Release pressure with quick cool method (running water over the edge of the cooker). Remove thighs, debone, strain stock and add back to cooker, mince onion and garlic. Add back the chicken.
If you're using leftover chicken, saute the garlic and onion in a little olive oil. Add stock and chicken.
Peel and cut the potatoes into 2 inch sections and add to the pot. Add beans. Add butter.
Cover and bring to pressure. Cook 6 minutes. Use quick-cool method and release pressure. Enjoy.
(You can also add a couple handfuls chopped escarole, endive, or kale and return soup to heat until wilted.)
This is great topped with parmesan and accompanied by a salad and rolls!

Oh, and you can also cook this all in a pot, if you'd like. Cook til potatoes are done. It's still delicious, just not quite as fast!!

Because some things AREN'T better IRL (in real life)

Tonight I was talking to my friend, Jimmy, who had apparently spent some time reading this here blog. In the course of conversation he said, "You know, you really come off quite well on that blog. If I didn't know you myself, I'd be terribly impressed."
Precious, isn't he?

Does God want you to be rich?

I've been slowly reading my way through our latest issue of Time. This is the cover story: Does God Want You to Be Rich? You can read an abstract from CNN here. (Shame on Time for not making the entire article available.)
It's interesting that Prosperity thinking is on the rise at the same time that the Crunchy Con and Emergent movements seem to be addressing the same target group with completely differently oriented messages.
I plan to add more thoughts when I actually have any mental clarity, but in the meantime I'd be interested to hear from anyone else who has read the article or has knowledge/ understanding of/ or experience with the movements mentioned above.

A Frivolously Famous Friday Five

From the RevGals, a Friday Five of frivolity -- something needed this week.

1. Tell us about a time you met someone famous.

I met Tom Everett Scott and Steve Zahn at Red, Hot, and Blue in Lexington, KY when I was in seminary. I was eating dinner with my friend Melissa, and realized who they were and worked up the courage to ask Tom for his autograph by saying, "Hey, you're Tom Everett Jones, aren't you?" Didn't occur to me to get Steve Zahn's autograph because I was blushing and flustered and unintelligible in the first place and secondly, I'm a big dork. They were very gracious then got the heck out of there. They're both far cuter in real life, by the way.
My latest brush with greatness came last year when I was at a local restaurant with our clergy group at Senator Dick Durbin (D-Illinois) came in to speak with the local Chamber of Commerce. My daughter had a dirty diaper and was fussing, so I went to the restroom with her. While in there, I heard his aides praising the hand dryers. When I emerged, he said hello and then his aides began talking about how beautiful Annalivia was. He started towards her and we headed outside, not because I have anything against the guy, but I had a very fussy child. She didn't need to be political fodder at that moment.

2. Tell us about a celebrity you'd like to meet.

Well, knowing I'd be far too nervous and intimidated to actually speak to anyone I met, I'd love to meet Anne Lamott and just absorb her presence. Or Madeline Albright. I like listening to her. Or Ira Glass.
Less cerebrally, I'd love to meet Clive Owen, my celebrity boyfriend. We've been dating since he was in the Mystery series, Second Sight, and that's a long time to carry on a relationship with someone without the other person knowing.

3. Tell us about someone great who's NOT famous that you think everyone oughta have a chance to meet.

I think everyone should meet my grandfather. And my sistahs. And my husband and daughter.

4. Do you have any autographs of famous people?

No, I unfortunately lost Tom Everett Scott/Jones' autograph about 24 hours after I got it. Oops.

5. If you were to become famous, what would you want to become famous for?

Philanthropic greatness, I guess. Or having really kind children.

Late night thoughts on arrogance

It is 3:12 here and I've been up for about an hour. Wide awake -- cannot sleep. My mind is racing and yet, I'm so tired. I need to get back to bed.
However, I've been thinking about arrogance and how I have been and probably will be guilty of gross arrogance throughout my life. This has been brought into sharp focus for me as we've pondered the possibility that something is really wrong with our baby. I've realized my arrogance of assumption that I would have a healthy baby, my belief that I could prevent something being wrong if I just did everything "right", my belief that somehow I'd have the answers to whatever would come next...
I've also realized the arrogance I've applied to others. I've thought that I have answers for them, that I would handle situations better than they have, that my solutions and thoughts would clearly make their lives much better if they were somehow just able to receive my superior wisdom...
And most of all, I've realized the theological arrogance that I've bought into. I've realized this before, but in talking to people in my congregation and hearing how they perceive God to be working both in their own lives and in the life of my family, I realize that often I have dismissed their views as lesser than my own. What I often haven't realized is that the theology they hold close brings them peace and comfort. The theology they hold has, in most cases, been earned by more suffering, pain, joy -- by more life than I have, or may ever, experience.
My arrogance is humbling and humiliating. I don't know why I've needed to define myself in superior smug self-satisfaction, when clearly I am neither superior nor self-satisfied and any smugness is a facade.
The truth is -- I have no answers, really. I don't know how to handle what comes next. I am groping to find God in the midst of all my fears and anxiety.
In short, there is no room for arrogance here. And that -- well, that is very scary.

Possible prenatal problems

There have been better days...
Today, on the drive home from the cemetery after the burial for my great-uncle, Jerry, I got a call from the nurse at my OB's office telling me Dr. Stone wanted to speak with me. FYI, it's not a good thing when the doctor wants to speak with you herself.
Anyway, turns out that my quad screen test showed a very high risk for Trisomy 18. The test said the risk factor is 1:10, however the numbers apparently just aren't good.
So, next Tuesday (a whole freaking week!!) Dennis and I will go to Rockford Memorial to meet with a geneticist and then have an amniocentesis. Normally a Level II ultrasound is done before the amnio to look for markers, however because of the numbers I've opted to do the amnio.
After that, we have to wait a week to get preliminary results and then 3 (three!!) weeks to find out for sure what is going on.
And then we'll figure out what's next.
Ugh.
I'd appreciate any and all prayers.

Well, knock me over with a feather...

...and that's really saying quite something...
We Disciples are apparently organized enough to have a blog ring! I am astonished and astounded and immediately signed up, though now the pressure to post something relevant, or at least, responsible is on.
This adds a level of accountability heretofore unknown on this here blog. We Disciples are only about 800,000 strong. You can't throw a rock at an assembly without hitting someone you know. I'm now on notice. But quite excited by it. Really.

Getting kicked around

I remember when I was pregnant with Annalivia waiting anxiously for that first flutter that would indicate she was actually in there and moving around. I think it came about 18 weeks and for the longest time, I was bewildered by what was going on.

This time around, at 17 weeks, Littler McStew has been relentlessly pummeling his/her momma for the last month. But today in church -- oh my goodness!! I think this kid has a bone to pick or something!

It is funny how less than two years have passed and I've already forgotten what it was like with Annalivia. I don't remember sharp jabs and round ligament pain. I don't remember overwhelming tiredness or the forgetfulness I experience now. I do remember time passing incredibly slowly and feeling very unsure about what comes next.

This afternoon, Annalivia and I are getting ready to head down south to my hometown to prepare for the funeral for my great-uncle Jerry. Annalivia is so old now and I can't help but look at her as she pulls her clothes out of the drawers to "help" me pack and think about how she was swimming in those newborn outfits a year and a half ago. As she sprawls across me when I rock her before her nap, I think about her curled up under my chin when she was first born. I'm glad I get a second chance to take note of all those things again. Maybe this time I'll actually remember.

Tired and also weary, and yes, those are different things

Today was church cleanup day. I did almost jack-squat, having been commanded by my doctor to take it easy for a couple of days on Tuesday, and having milked that comment for all it was worth to get out of a board meeting among other things. I spent the first three hours chasing my child, making coffee and arranging snacks for the other workers. In the last hour I finally picked up a spade and did some edging interspersed with frequent reminders to Annalivia to not go into the street and because I am a big slug, my shoulders hurt from that scant activity. So I'm tired.
And I'm weary. My great-uncle, Jerry, passed away this weekend and on Tuesday, I'll be celebrating his life by officiating at the funeral. Uncle Jerry was a fixture in my life growing up, part of most family parties and always included in the god-bless song, but I never really knew him as an individual in my adult life. I'm sorry that it is only in death that I'll get to know him.
I am, however, honored that my great-aunt Audrey has asked me to celebrate his life and honored that I get to serve my family in this way. I've shared with other clergy that I'm doing this funeral and I've also shared with clergy colleagues that I have verbally contracted to celebrate the lives of my other elderly relatives when the time comes, including my dear grandfather and grandmother. This tends to freak some of my clergy colleagues out and I get little mini lectures about letting go of control, and allowing others to minister to me in my grief and blah blah blah.
I know that these comments are generally motivated out of concern for my well-being, but I don't seem to be able to communicate how this position of celebrant is such a sacred duty -- one that is, of course, very difficult -- but one that is also very important to me. I have been trusted by my family to lift up our beloveds' souls, to hold forth those memories that refract our beloveds' meaning and personhood. It is what I do in my heart and head anyway. To have that recognized by my family and to have them allow me to do it for them when they are unable to do it for each other -- I see that as a real gift from them.
Anyway, this is the first of these occasions and I am weary from last week's funeral and this week's hospital calls and tired from total-lack-of-cleanup and minor prenatal uterine activity, so I'm praying for strength and stamina to be able to perform this very sacred service for my aunt and cousin and the rest of my family and honor Jerry with the words and emotion they are trusting I can.

Friday Five

The RevGalBlogPals have a weekly Friday Five game going. Here are five things I enjoyed this week:
1. Labor day at home in Eureka.
2. A couple of really, really good naps
3. Very nice weather and the discipline to leave the air conditioner off
4. Mighty fine sugar cookies
5. Driving down to school with Dennis last night

You can find other Friday Fives by checking out the RevGalBlogPal site here.

Some realtively unformed thoughts on "literal meaning"

Thanks to another provocative discussion at the CH forums, I have realized that I have a difficulty getting over the word, "literal" when someone says, "I believe the Bible is literal" or "I take the Bible literally."
I know what they mean. They mean -- the Bible is true, inspired, infallible. But the word "literal" is so very difficult here.
The things is, language is, by its very nature, representative, which means that it will ALWAYS need to be interpreted. And though some might argue that, well, yes, of course, language is interpreted, but we all KNOW what words really mean, I would point out that all of us, at some time or another, have misinterpreted the language that is very clearly set before us. How many of us have read an email from a dear friend and missed the humor or sarcasm therein? Or how many of us have read a post by someone we don't know and have inferred something about their character or compassion by their writings?
When it comes to the Bible, I do believe the Bible is inspired by God. And I could even say that I believe that what God inspired is infallible -- without error. I believe it to be unquestioningly true. However, the Bible has been interpreted by fallible humans for over 2500 years. Even if we believe the Holy Spirit gives us the power to interpret, we are still human. We are still imperfect beings trying to glean from language, some of which has been copied and re-copied and translated and re-translated for over 20 centuries, a representation of God, who is beyond all human representation and comprehension.
And this -- this reminder that we can only grasp small glimpses of God in metaphors and representations -- this is what most of all, bothers me about the word, "literal." God simply IS NOT literal. God is beyond literal. God is beyond what humans can possibly conceive of as fact, meaning, truth, exactness, etc.
All of this is absolutely, unequivocally, not to say that the Bible is meaningless. It is FULL of meaning. I would just posit that the meaning is far greater than we will ever, ever, ever understand. God is revealed and is being revealed in our reading of the text, but we will never, ever get to grasp God's fullness until we are Home.
To say that the Bible can be understood "literally" seems to me to imply that we grasping it IS attainable. That if we just study and pray and dig enough, someday, we'll "get it."
What I personally find is that the more I study the Bible, the more I learn about the language, the bigger God seems. The bigger the process appears. The bigger the picture represented by the words. I begin to understand why Paul said, "now we see only in part, then we will see the whole."
So as I've been turning over these thoughts in my head and pondering the nature of this most instructive and revealing of books I think I've realized that, the more I read the Bible, the less and less "literal" it seems to me.
But, of course, that could just be this weirdo...

Recipe: Really good, but not quite "it" sugar cookies

I made some sugar cookies yesterday that were really quite delicious. They aren't, however, what I've been craving. The cookies I've been craving are from a lady in our church who makes these amazing, crumbly, melt-in-your-mouth sugar cookies. She offers to give me the recipe whenever I ooh-and-aahhhh, but she never follows through. Even if I call her and ask her for it, she finds some reason to put off handing down the recipe.
ANYWAY, these cookies are not quite Ruth's but are as close as I've come. I'm going to try adding 1 teaspoon cream of tartar next time and see how that changes the flavor if favor of the recipe in my head. Regardless, these are delicious and very easy and don't even have to be refrigerated, which is great if you are ENFP like me and don't generally plan beyond the end of your nose, let alone 24 hours before cookies are to be baked.

Old-Fashioned Sugar Cookies
3/4 cup butter, softened, but not TOO soft
1 cup sugar
1 egg
1 t. vanilla (or double it or add almond extract or lemon extract -- all delicious)
Cream all together
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon salt
Mix together and add to the creamed mix.
Either refrigerate, or go ahead and roll into balls, then roll in sugar and flatten with hand or bottom of glass. Bake in the upper half of a 375 degree oven for about 8 minutes. These will spread out quite a bit and the bottom will brown very fast.
Allow to cool for about a minute on the pan, then remove!
Enjoy with milk or hot tea or plain!

Photos, photos, photos

We've had such a good time enjoying this fall weather around here with a couple trips to the park in the last week. Last Thursday, Dennis took the day off so that he could finish a paper and I could do work on a funeral. After I spent the morning at church and he spent the morning with Annalivia, we all went out to the park for lunch.
Here we enjoy an ultra- nutritious lunch.

Annalivia learned how to climb up and down the steps to the play equipment.

Then she learned how to go down the slide by herself. The static on her hair was hilarious.

On Labor Day, Annalivia and I went down to Eureka to give Dennis some time to study. We got to spend the end of Labor Day with the aunts and cousins. This is my youngest sister, Kalin with Annalivia. Kalin is universally adored by her neices and nephews, though she does absolutely nothing to merit such devotion. I try to take pictures of her holding Annalivia whenever possible. I have two such photos. In this one, she's actually smiling.






We met over at Miller Park Zoo in Bloomington and ate Avanti's subs for dinner. Here are cousin Rhys (Marissa's son) and cousin Cleya (Lil's daughter).

We did some playing, too.

Annalivia enjoyed swinging.

The highlight, though, were these stairs that allowed Annalivia to go up AND DOWN them like a big girl. She went up and down about 30 times.

The cousins had a pretty good time together.

And here's Kalin and Rhys being best friends. She really is a great aunt.

Godsecrets

If you want to see some interesting/ challenging/ moving God stuff, check out this blog. There are some good things in there!

Another glimpse of the man I married

On Saturday at a funeral, an older lady in our congregation told me that she hopes that this baby will be a boy and that we'll name him, "Enough."
While I hate comments like that (i.e. 'I hope you're through!' or 'You don't need more than two children!') I haven't really figured out a way to respond to them. I was telling Dennis about this and my dilemma in figuring out how to respond and he said, "Well, I would have said, 'Don't worry. You'll probably be dead by the time we have number three!'"
I guess there's a reason he's not the pastor.