Christmas and the days surrounding

First things, first. Merry Christmas and Christmastide!

We have had a very full few days here. It has been largely defined by a diagnosis of congestive heart failure and colon cancer in my grandmother on Christmas eve, a subsequent operation to remove the tumor in her colon later the same day, and her ongoing recovery. The surgery was very high-risk, but Grammy is doing pretty remarkably, all things considered. We hope to see a pathology report by Monday on whether the cancer was confined to the tumor and we also hope that the fluid around her heart and in her lungs continues to be expelled. In the meantime, she is surrounded by family and lots of love and is exactly where she needs to be with truly excellent care. We are grateful for that.

In the aftermath of Grammy's surgery, our Christmas eve plans changed pretty drastically. I had asked Dennis to come home from work early and he was on his way when we got the call about the surgery. I'm so thankful for that. We were going to have homemade lasagna which is becoming a little tradition, but I had picked up some frozen lasagna on sale for after the baby is born and it was available for Dennis to put in while I was at the hospital. I ended up arriving home to a very satisfying dinner right as the "family friendly" service at church was stariting. So we decorated a tree we got for free from Kroger's and then attended the midnight service at our church. Our children were the only little ones there and they did just a remarkable job. Annalivia fell asleep in the middle and Daniel colored and drew and played mostly quietly through the rest of the service. I was impressed and thankful for that, too. It was a lovely service.

Christmas morning, Annalivia had to be reminded of the special nature of the morning before she went downstairs to discover a new doll. She was duly impressed and just kept saying throughout the morning, "Santa is a very kind man." Daniel slept in and did not get to see his fire truck until after we returned from an amazing brunch at my mother's house. He was not at all impressed with his fire truck; I had gotten Dennis a Lionel train set that Dennis set up under the tree on Christmas eve and Daniel was just enthralled with it. I don't think he has made the distinction in his mind between the train being his or his father's. Eventually he played with the fire truck, but the train was definitely the hit of the day.

The family came over here for dinner in the evening. Dennis' mom and my sister's in-laws also joined us. We had beef bourginon, clam chowder, homemade bread and clementines -- it was pretty simple. And after dinner we sang carols from the hymnal and had a little dessert and everyone went home. It was nice.

We were all pretty tired yesterday, but I got over to see Grammy and today went back over for a while. I have found myself wishing I could be more help to the family. I think the front lines -- my grandfather and my father, Sublime Aunt and FreeSpirit Uncle are getting a little worn out. FreeSpirit Uncle, who gave up Christmas with his wife and son. returned to Arkansas today. Sublime Aunt has arrived, thankfully, for a few days, but my dad who is the local child and has been staying with my grandmother during the night, has come down with the stomach flu. So has my neice. I feel bad about that, since I think we were the ones who had the flu first. We tried to quarantine ourselves as soon as we realized we had it, but I guess the germs got out. Or one of the other 800 cases in our town infected my dad and niece. Regardless, it means that a large chunk of the family will probably pass it around and that takes them out of commission in helping Gramps and tending Grammy.

I'm going to try to get up early tomorrow and get over to the hospital to relieve Sublime Aunt and be another pair of ears listening to whatever doctors say. I' ve been enjoying the time to sit there and talk with my family members and crochet. My sister warned me tonight about carrying leftover flu to the hospital. Our doctor said that we wouldn't be contagious once symptoms passed; that it is the incubation period where people are contagious. I hope -- really, really hope -- he's right about that. The last thing either Grammy or Gramps need is the stomach flu.

Anyway, that has been our days. Though full and busy, we feel so blessed to have family around who care for each other in such amazing ways. And Grammy's successful surgery was about the best Christmas gift anyone could hope to receive. Again -- hope all of your Christmases were merry and bright and that the new year brings health and happiness.

Merry Christmas!

Things learned during illness

• It is unwise to mention out loud to one's sister that one's family has been remarkably devoid of the stomach flu for the last four years. It's basically writing out an invitation that reads something like this... "Dear stomach flu... Please, please, please come visit. All of us. All at once. And asap. Bring all the baggage you can carry. Looking forward to it. Love, April P.S. Dennis' birthday is later this week and I have big plans. We'll have the guest room made up by then!"

• I married a saint. He's also a hero and an angel, not to mention, a truly excellent chief, cook and bottle-washer (and yes, I intentionally made that phrase into three jobs). Well, maybe he has a ways to go with the "cook" part of the job description, but really... Dennis is totally the cog that makes the wheel of this family function. He has changed beds, changed and bathed and comforted and cradled kids, coddled me, done load-upon-load-upon-load of laundry, fed us -- but only what we requested, made trips to various stores, played, sang.... all while feeling terrible himself and missing a decent birthday celebration because of his own illness. The man is simply amazing. And he's ours.
• The smell of laundry being washed in the basement of this house makes the whole house smell fresh and clean. Which is really saying something when all four of the residents have the flu.
• At a certain point, it is impossible to fool one's children into thinking that Pedialyte is really apple juice. Even the young, gullible one.
• When one hasn't eaten for a day or so, saltines and ginger ale make a meal as delicious as any cordon-bleu cuisine.
• If I ever have the opportunity to design or radically remodel a bathroom, I will seriously consider covering the entire thing in tile, putting a drain in the floor, and making all storage units, lighting, etc. completely waterproof so as to be able to basically hose down the place at any moment.
• There are advantages to being sick -- lots of rest, thank you, Lord (and Dennis) -- the sheets all get cleaned -- the bathrooms get bleached -- cooking is pretty much optional as no one cares what dinner is going to be. The advantages, however, do not outweigh the disadvantages. I look forward to being well for a long time.

Christmas photo shoot

Today after church, we stopped by Grammy and Gramps' for lunch. We had brought clam chowder, biscuits and salad and after we finished eating, I asked Gramps to take a photo of all of us in his garage, which tends to have pretty nice light in it. He obliged. We ended up with some decent photos. I'm pretty sure the last one will end up on our Christmas card, but I just end up beaming every time I look at the second one. What do you think?

Catch-up photo post: Clothes for Emmeliese

I stopped by a consignment store in Peoria the other day and found a treasure trove of sweet clothes in "Preemie" and "Under 7 lbs" sizes. Both of my kids so far have been little and, as long as they don't have feet on them, Preemie sizes have fit better than the 0-3 for the first few weeks. There were some beautiful soft things in pink at this particular store. My favorite was this Janie and Jack romper, brand new with tags still on it. It was marked down to $3.25. Though Emmeliese won't do much romping in it, the smocking and delicate little flowers make my heart do a little pitter-patter. I love little girl clothes!

December Photo Project

Last year, I was too late to join in, but this year, I'm joining Rebecca from View from the Prairie Box for her annual December Photo Project. The idea is just to document December through an individual blogger's eyes.

My first photo was actually taken yesterday on the first day of Advent right before Annalivia and I walked down to church. It is just about an inch or so of the eventual five inches of snow that we got. I discovered it is futile to explain to a 3-year old who doesn't remember last year's snows that the snow that is walked in, handled, played in and laid in on the way to church eventually melts and makes one cold. Oh, well. It was a beautiful morning and an invigorating walk to church. Ah, to be blissfully unaware of consequences again...

If you want more info on the photo project, go here. And let me know you're participating so I can come visit!

It's an Emmeliese

Back when I was pregnant with Annalivia, Dennis and I talked a lot about names. We had another name chosen for Annalivia before I became pregnant with her, but it just wasn't right. Eventually, we found Annalivia and we both knew it was right when we heard it.

We also knew that our second daughter was going to be named Emmeliese. Emmeliese Elizabeth, to be exact. And from before the time that her elder sister was born, Emmeliese seemed very real to me. It was as though she was just out there waiting to come to us.

In fact, Emmeliese was so real to me that when I got pregnant for the second time, I was almost positive that it her. When the ultrasound tech said that we had a little boy, I was downright shocked. I thought for sure that he was Emmeliese. It took me a while to adjust to the idea of Daniel being Daniel. (This is yet another one of the reasons that we will always find out the gender of our babies, if possible. Knowing who is in there is a big, big deal to me.) Of course, now that he is here, I can't imagine our family without him. He has completed another piece of our family that couldn't be filled in any other way. And I am continually thankful that he is mine.

All of that being said, though, the sense that Emmeliese was out there has not gone away. Several times over the last few years I have dreamed about her. About two or three weeks before I became pregnant with this baby, I dreamed about Emmeliese again. I dreamed that I was calling out her name over and over again. And when I woke up I told Dennis I felt like I was calling her to me. And when, a few weeks later, I found out I was pregnant and Annalivia immediately insisted that she had a baby sister, I felt hopeful that Emmeliese had finally decided to come to us.

But I had been wrong before. After all, I thought Annalivia was a James and Daniel was Emmeliese. So on Monday, when we had an ultrasound, I was prepared to be excited if this baby ended up being a William or Peter or John or whatever.

But -- it's not! It's her! She's actually here with us and we are sooooo excited to finally get to meet our little Emmeliese Elizabeth, if even in utero! Her big sister is particularly thrilled. When the ultrasound tech told her the baby was a girl she started jumping up and down and clapping. And when I asked her what she thought Emmeliese would look like, Annalivia said, "She'll be wearing a beautiful, long dress..." And Daniel has his own song for her, "Baby Liese, Liese, Liese".

Obviously, Emmeliese is already treasured in our family. Today I had another ultrasound. It was really neat to see her little face and her legs and arms. I keep thinking of Psalm 139, " For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." She is indeed fearfully and wonderfully made and she is just beautiful already.

We are soooo grateful, thankful, and very excited about what is to come!

Hooray! It's an Emmeliese!

Sarafina

We are not animal people. And when I say "we", I mean, Dennis and I. We are not animal people for many legitimate reasons including allergies, but the biggest reason is that neither of us are fans of the prospect of cleaning up the feces of those who don't share our DNA. Our children, however, have not thought out the whole cleaning-up-after thing and are, therefore, animal lovers. And what they really want is a cat.

Enter Sarafina. Kalin gave me this cat for my birthday when I was in seminary, since it was obvious that I was never going to get a real cat. Annalivia adopted her later and named her Sarafina, after a white cat in a movie she has. When she goes to sleep, Annalivia arranges Sarafina at the foot of her bed like a real cat. Unlike a real cat, when Annalivia kicks Sarafina off the bed at night, Sarafina just lays on the floor quietly. She hasn't taken any revenge that we've detected.

But the person who has become the real owner of Sarafina is Daniel. He plays with her constantly. And he takes her everywhere. Everytime we leave, we have to make sure Sarafina is with us. "C'mon, 'Fina!" he yells. Then he makes her meow in loud, bark-like sounds. Sarafina is a good travel companion. The only time she has caused any distraction is when she was lobbed into the front seat accompanied by Daniel's screams of protest. I am pretty sure Annalivia was behind that.

We have told our kids that one day we will live on a farm or someplace where kitties and maybe even a doggie can live outside. Then they can have lots of animals. And presumably, they'll be old enough to clean up after them. In the meantime, there's Sarafina. And she's a pretty good substitute.

The things I get away with

Yesterday, after lunch, we ran over to Peoria to get Daniel a nice looking winter coat at Old Navy. I like it when they cut their coat prices in half, which they have recently, so we found a coat that will work for pretty much all-of-the-time and then got back in the car to head home.

It was around dinner time and Dennis and I were not hungry at all, but Annalivia said she wanted to eat. Then she volunteered that she wanted a "roast beef sandwich from Arby's." We had passed an Arby's on the way to the store and were going past it again, but I was thinking it would be better to just eat at home. So I said, "Annalivia, if you wait til we get home to eat, you could have OATMEAL for dinner..."

To which she responded enthusiastically, "Yay!!!"

And we came home and she and Daniel had oatmeal with brown sugar and milk for dinner. With seconds and thirds.

I'm not sure how I ended up with kids who count oatmeal as a big treat, but I'll take it. It's nice to be able to get away with something every once in a while.

Return to Sunday Dinner

I realized today -- I have simple dreams with simple themes. Home and family are central to most. A comfortable place to live, special traditions, several consecutive nights of uninterrupted sleep... these are the thoughts that set me afire.

Today, I got to realize a long-time dream of mine which was to host a family Sunday Dinner after church. Since college when I interned at a little church in northern Illinois where four generations worshiped together and ate together every. single. Sunday. after church, I have wanted to do so with my family.

We're not up to every Sunday...yet...beware, family... but today we got together after church. I thought it was wonderful. We had pot roast, mashed potatoes and gravy, broccoli with cheese, homemade bread from my sistah, Lil, and old-fashioned three-layer buttermilk chocolate cake for dessert. I got to set the table with a white tablecloth and put out the cloth napkins. We used silver. We even got out the china gravy bowl. And we ate together.

Today, it was only Lil's family and Mom as our guests. Gramps, Grammy, and Freespirit Uncle, in from Arkansas, had their portions to go. Dad was on a boy scout campout all weekend. But it was such a gift to join hands around the table, eat leisurely, have mom wash dishes :), and enjoy the conversation while the kids played, mostly peaceably.

Afterwards, when the families returned home, I sat down and reflected on it all and found myself incredibly moved by the simple act of being able to be together. So many families are not afforded or do not afford themselves such opportunities. So many families do not enjoy being in the presence of each other. So many families are burdened by togetherness. But, we... well, we are blessed. Incredibly, inumerably blessed.

Honestly, I could do this every week. To me, it's a simple dream come true.

Porch parapicket

Last week, before the weather decided to skip ahead to the end of November and drive us all inside where we could turn up the heat, Annalivia asked if we could have a porch parapicket (picnic). I said yes.It was chilly and a little windy and we probably should have been wearing sweaters or coats, but we had hot macaroni and cheese.

And when it's a little chilly, hot macaroni and cheese is good.

Really good.

Annalivia decided we should share with our porch guard-pig, Portia.

Daniel took advantage of her distraction and tried her macaroni and cheese, too. Turns out that hot macaroni and cheese is good, but one's distracted sister's hot macaroni and cheese is even better.

I am one of THOSE moms (alternate title: I am not one of those OTHER moms)

We had a great weekend here with friends and Eureka College Homecoming and more friends, big church yesterday.... Last night I was exhausted. We went to Cracker Barrel for dinner and upon walking in, found that the Halloween costume princess dresses were marked down in a considerable discount. Annalivia had admired them in the past, but they were too expensive and looked a little cheap, I thought. However, a painful calculation in my head later, I realized that buying one of these dresses would provide me with x hours of free time and y hours of not getting frustrated with fabric and lack-of-pattern and z hours of not fretting over the looming deadline of Halloween and, that regardless of how much I want to be the mother who makes the amazing Halloween outfits from nothing, that x multiplied by y multiplied by z ended up being FAR less than the discounted cost of the dress.

Thankfully, Dennis agreed.

So, we brought home a pink princess dress and very happy little girl and the internal promise to myself that NEXT year, I will make a Halloween outfit for Annalivia. Unless, of course, the equation works in the store's favor again. Which -- c'mon -- who are we kidding? It might.

At our house

This afternoon...

Annalivia: We're playing Narnia! Daniel is Edmund and he's with the White Witch but Aslan is going to save him!"

A little while later, after hearing Daniel cry out...

Me: Annalivia, why is Daniel crying?

Annalivia: Well, the White Witch just bonked him on the head...

Guess which character she was playing?

How can I keep from singing?

My family is full of good singers. And most of us actually like to sing, though none of us sing in any organized groups anymore. Most of the time, I'm ok that I don't get to sing in a group anymore, but I really do miss good music. And I miss singing beautiful music with other people. I like having tunes and words stuck in my head throughout the day, especially when they are lovely and uplifting and something other than Thomas the Tank Engine songs.

Now that I'm back home, I have a covert plan (or not) to get my dad and sister and brother in law, especially, to sing with me occasionally. I don't want it to be high-pressure or performance-induced, but there are some beautiful songs that we could sing a capella, or with my brother in law strumming along capably on his guitar, that would be really neat to be able to sing with other good voices like this hymn, How Can I Keep from Singing? It has such a beautiful tune and beautiful words, especially in times like these.

My life flows on in endless song;

Above earth’s lamentation

I hear the sweet though far off hymn
That hails a new creation:

Through all the tumult and the strife

I hear the music ringing;

It finds an echo in my soul—

How can I keep from singing?

What though my joys and comforts die?

The Lord my Savior liveth;

What though the darkness gather round!

Songs in the night He giveth:

No storm can shake my inmost calm

While to that refuge clinging;

Since Christ is Lord of Heav’n and earth,

How can I keep from singing?

I lift mine eyes; the cloud grows thin;

I see the blue above it;

And day by day this pathway smoothes

Since first I learned to love it:

The peace of Christ makes fresh my heart,

A fountain ever springing:

All things are mine since I am His—

How can I keep from singing?

~Robert Lowry

I hope they go for it.

A successful first day

Annalivia enjoyed her morning at Preschool. I was excited to find out that she will be taught by one of my favorite people, a wonderful, patient and kind woman who is a member of our church and, actually, the wife of a minister. I am very glad that Annalivia is in her class and Annalivia was full of all sorts of exciting news when she emerged from school. "We saw three x's!" "We read about Douglas with the monster inside him!" "I drew this picture of you!"

To me, the best part of the day was the walk to and from school. We were running late, as usual, and left the house at 8:53. We walked into her classroom at 8:55 and that included a little tumble by Daniel. The walk home took a bit longer but only because we encountered Annalivia's cousins and my sister walking home from kindergarten.

Have I mentioned yet how GLAD I am that we moved back home?! I love it here.

New school

Tomorrow morning, Annalivia has her first day at the preschool housed at our church, about a block from the house. I have kind of agonized over the decision to change schools. She loved the one she has been attending and I really liked it, too. It is associated with the retirement community where my grandparents live and the kids interact with the residents every day. And it has a specifically Christian mission and operation, which I really did appreciate.

But, it was expensive. And Annalivia was there all day on Tuesday and Thursday, which was fine, but pretty soon, doctor's appoinments are going to rule our lives and I thought I needed a few more time slots open. So, when a spot opened up in the other nursery school in town, we took it. It means that Annalivia's going to school on Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 9-11:30 and the tuition for the month is just a few dollars more than a week at the other school. The schedule is very similar to morning kindergarten here and we can walk there very quickly, all of which is a plus, I think. Of course, Daniel and I aren't going to be galavanting about by ourselves all day twice a week anymore, but I think that's probably good for all of us.

Any trepidation or concern I have is not at all shared by my daughter. She is enthused to do something new. She's excited to meet new children. She's looking forward to making new friends.

We always joke in my family about how some of us have "the group gene." I don't know that I've ever encountered anyone who has it so strongly as Annalivia. She's definitely glad to find a group. Hopefully the group will be glad to find her, too.

A very full day

My goodness, am I ever tired! We had a very nice day here together. This morning, we got up late, then went to the store and got food for a picnic and met Daddy at a park near his job. Then we went up to the apple orchard to buy some mums and play on the wooden train. I temporarily lost the keys to the truck, but after hunting around, we found them next to some large pumpkins.

Daniel took a nap on the way home and when we got back, the kids did a little bit of playing then we took a walk down to our landlord's house with the rent check. We kept walking and went to the playground at the school. Then we came back and went to the lake where we hunted some cattails. Then we went to the playground at the lake and while the kids played for a bit, I talked with a long-lost high school friend who happened by with his mom, brother, and niece.

After all of that, we came back to discover that I had burned dinner beyond recognition, so we ate some pizza and Annalivia went to Awanas for the first time. Daniel and I bummed around while she was there and finally, at 8:10, we picked her up, came home and got to baths.

It was just beautiful today -- blue skies and puffy white clouds and cold and crisp. It was a good day to spend with the kiddos. And it's a good day to end a little early with a good book in a nice comfy bed.

Mr. D

Daniel is getting so big now. He's learned how to say, "Mommmeeeeeee!" with this sweet affection and will frequently come up and give me hugs and pat my face and say my name lovingly. I think it's so adorable. Annalivia always called me "Momma" not "Mommy" until she was older. Daniel drags out the "eeeeee" so it it sounds especially sweet.

He's also adopting a lot of other sweet mannerisms. When he answers in the affirmative, he will most likely say, "Yep" even when he is sobbing, which is awfully darn precious. He says, "oh, okeee" a lot and has all sorts of other words too.

And he is still absolutely enthralled with trucks and trains to the extent that he will lie in bed and say the names of the engines on the island of Sodor over and over again, interspersing them with the names of the family. And he can play by himself with trains and trucks and some little construction vehicles for a long time, giving them sound effects and crashing them into each other occasionally. I love watching the little boy emerge from my baby.

He has also perfected the role of persecuted little brother. And so far, Mommy and Daddy have been playing into it. One shriek from him and we immediately say, "Annalivia! What is going on?" It's just recently that I've been realizing that he has been happy to use this to his advantage. We're trying to be more fair.

But regardless of whether we are enjoying him or correcting, it's just a neat time to be around little Daniel. I'm glad to be here.

Casual dinner gatherings

I have a few moments while Dennis gets the kids a bath and so I just want to say again -- I love my family. I love that I can call them up on Sunday afternoon, invite them to dinner at 6, serve them dinner at 6:40, and have a lovely time despite unpacked boxes, unclean floors, and unorganized everything.

Grammy and Gramps and Lil's family came over for dinner tonight. It was nice to be able to just get together without pressure of a big to-do. We had homemade pizza -- two kinds; one was sausage, tomatoes from our garden, mushrooms, and onions and the other was chicken, garlic, feta, mushrooms, and mozzarella, with walnuts to put on top since I forgot to put them on the pizza. We also had a simple salad and sliced apples -- all good wholesome food and all tasty, not fussy, etc.

Tomorrow, Dennis' mom is coming for a little visit. She hasn't been to the big house yet. It looks nice and it is neat to be able to have a special place for our visitors, especially her. Annalivia and Daniel saw her on Saturday, but are very much looking forward to her visit tomorrow. She's going to stay with them while I go have a nuchal translucency test, also, so they get to be together without their mean mother around. That's good. They need a little Grandma-spoiling.

We got the guest room clean and arranged with the lovely quilt the church gave me as a parting gift on the bed.

I am feeling the baby, every once-in-a-while. I know that, technically, this is supposed to be impossible, but I felt Daniel moving early when my bladder was full and I feel this one, too. And I know what it's supposed to feel like by now. There's nothing else that feels like a little golf ball rolling around in there! I'm ready to know more about her/ him. It will be good to see that little love tomorrow!

The morning so far

It is a gorgeous morning here in central IL. The sun is shining and it is cool and crisp and one can tell autumn is not too very far away!

We were all up early today mainly because we all went to bed early. Daniel fell asleep during dinner at 6:30. I fell asleep about 5 minutes after putting him in his crib. Annalivia was in bed by 7:30. Dennis stayed up late and got up early, but he's very noble and good and kind and cleaned up the kitchen, did laundry, etc. What a guy...

Today is a Tuesday which means that Annalivia is at preschool. She's attending a little preschool class of 6-8 kids on Tuesday and Thursday at the retirement complex where my grandparents live. And since today is Tuesday, it is the day I get to answer affirmatively when she asks me if she can "Please, please, please go to Noah's Ark today?" unlike the other five days of the week. The kid likes preschool.

Daniel and I are headed up to Rock Falls about 11:30 today so I can meet with the two families for whom I'll be doing funerals this week. We won't get back until 6:30 or later, so I actually planned dinner tonight. I have Porkchops with Artichokes in the crockpot right now. And thanks to my brilliant KitchenAid mixer that mom got me, I was able to whip up some french bread in about 5 minutes. And there's an apple pie finishing its time in the oven.

AND Daniel is playing with his trains in his bedroom upstairs, so I have time to get the kitchen clean and set the table, too. I'm so thankful for this big house and room to play. What a gift.

It's nice to be productive, especially on a beautiful day like this. I guess I should try to get 12 hours of sleep more often!

Uber-cute

Little Daniel is in cuteness overdrive lately. He constantly narrates his actions in this flow of baby-talk that I don't understand at all. He is loving to play with trains and trucks and uses lots of sound effects in that little boy way. He imitates Annalivia incessantly and when he makes us laugh, he likes to perform the trick many, many times. He's also operating independently from Annalivia a lot more often. He initiates the wrestling and the tickling and the playing with her and has accepted the mantle of worthy adversary with gusto.

He's also recently had a haircut, so he looks like a little grown-up kid in a toddler's body.

So sweet. And just uber-cute!