Totally wiped out

I want to write about Ash Wednesday and the beginning of Lent, but I am totally, completely worn out. It's the kind of worn out where I almost feel like crying, I'm so tired. So I'm in bed and going to sleep asap. And I cancelled appointments for tomorrow, so I don't have to be anywhere until 4 p.m.

More later.

10 blurbs for Tuesday

1. I made pancakes this morning out of a store-bought mix. It is supposed to be a hearty whole grain, good-for-you mix and is priced accordingly, but it just stinks. I like my real pancake mix much better. Granted, it needs to be stored in the freezer, but at least it makes pancakes worth eating.

2. My mother has become the hero of this pregnancy for me. She is watching the kids literally every day as I go to the doctor or chiropractor or so on. I am amazed by what a difference it has made to live by my momma. This is, by far, the easiest pregnancy I have experienced. I think that comes down to three things -- First, I have been on a low dose of blood pressure medicine from the second trimester and my bp is good, still. Second, I am no longer the pastor of 150 needy people and third, I live by my mom. Most of these days, I'm inclined to think that #3 is of at least as much influence on my ability to cope with the final weeks of being prego as the other two.

3. Today, I went to the accupuncturist to try to get the baby to turn. It was an interesting experience. He stuck in the needles, which for the most part did not hurt, turned them a few times to make sure I could feel them, and then left me alone for 15 minutes. Emmeliese didn't move much until I started to do some deep breathing towards the end of the time. Then she was moving a whole bunch. Afterwards, I felt a little odd, but it was a decent experience. I'll go back for another session on Thursday.

4. We celebrated Annalivia's birthday tonight. Her birthday is actually tomorrow. I think at this point four years ago, I was about to get an epidural that would only numb one side of my body. I was listening to Taize Instrumentals and thinking about what it would mean to be a parent. I had no idea.

5. Annalivia got a new dress from my mother for her birthday. We went out to show Grammy Adaline the dress and take her some cake before the party. Annalivia is going to wear the dress to school tomorrow. She is over the moon about this dress. I'll post a picture of her in it tomorrow.

6. Daniel has taken to pretending to be a kitty a lot of the time. And whenever he climbs up on us for love, he pretends he's a cat. I have no idea why he has to pretend he's a kitty cat to express affection for us, but he does.

7. I mentioned the other day that Daniel sticks lots of things in bed with him. Last night, he went to bed well, but then we heard him rummaging around in his bedroom. We went in and found approximately 30 of his little metal Thomas trains in bed with him and his arms were loaded down with more. He was ticked when we took them out. Tonight after he went to bed, he got up, but only picked up three -- Harold the Helicopter, Bertie the Bus and James with his tender. I tried to take the tender out of the bed, but he was insistent that he stay. I guess it makes sense. How could James possibly go anywhere without his tender?

8. Tomorrow begins Lent and I'm giving up diet soda and a majority of my internet time. I'm limiting internet to nighttime only after the kids go to bed.

9. We're also picking up a new family worship time during Lent, the centerpiece of which was to be a cross candleholder, fashioned out of branches. I hadn't found branches until today when I drove by Annalivia's preschool teacher's house and saw several by the curb. I called to ask if I could have them and Dennis is going to go pick them up, as I type. We'll have a cross candleholder, after all! Lent is saved! :)

10. We have flowers pushing their way up through the ground at our house. On Monday, we glimpsed them through the snow. It was such a great sign of spring bursting forth! Tomorrow it is supposed to be in the 50's again! Hurrah for new life!

Baby 'Liese update

1. Still breech.

2. Went to my last perinatologist appointment today. I think.

3. The amnio is scheduled for next Tuesday at 10:30. We should know by late afternoon if her lungs are ready.

4. If lungs are ready, the C-section will be next Wednesday, if she's still breech.

5. If she turns, I'll be induced on Thursday.

6. That's a baby in a little over a week! :)

7. Tomorrow and Thursday, I'll see an accupunturist in a last-ditch effort to get her to turn.

8. Turn, baby, turn!

Big boy bed

Last night, when we got home from our date, Mom told us that she had put Daniel to bed in his toddler bed. We've had the "big boy bed" set up in his room for about a month or so to get him accustomed to it. We used the same tactic when we moved Annalivia to a toddler bed. They've played on the bed and climbed on it and such, but we've been putting him to bed in his crib each night.

About a week ago, I was telling mom that we realized that if I have a C-section, we were going to have to have Daniel in the toddler bed because I won't be able to lift him out of the crib in the morning. I mentioned we planned to move him to the crib, but we hadn't done so. So Momma did it for us.

And it went great! Daniel woke up once during the night and cried and then tried to get out of bed. We both took turns putting him back into bed. The first three times he got up, we put him in bed, covered him up and told him we loved him. After that, we came and laid right back down in our bed and when he arrived in our room five seconds later, we got up and just led him back to bed without talking to him. He fussed about being going back to the bed and wouldn't climb up, but we just went back to bed without talking. On about the fifth time, he draped himself on the bed, wailed for a bit and then climbed into bed. He cried for about a minute or so and then went back to sleep and was still sound asleep when Annalivia woke up at 8.

Tonight he went to bed and didn't fuss or come into our room. Daniel has this crazy need to have all sorts of things in bed with him. Tonight he started out with two bears and a rubber ducky. We heard him get up and when I checked on him, he had a Thomas the Tank Engine suitcase thing, a book, and part of his plastic sword in bed with him. Which meant he got out of bed, picked out those things, and then got back into bed. And now he's asleep.

I'm so proud of our big boy. And us. And thankful for Mom getting us on track. Here's to a good night and better tomorrow.

Liquid clorophyll users out there?

Ok -- momma-specific question -- has anyone out there used liquid chlorophyll to boost milk supply? I was remembering that I had read about it and it seems like it would be a wise idea to up my intake of it in these last few weeks. Anyone had any experience with it?

Compromise

This morning, the kids were arguing over the perennial question at our house, "who is the leader today?" FYI, I have never initiated this question. It migrated from Annalivia's preschool. Chalk one up for the argument-for-homeschooling.

Anyway, it is an argument that happens every. single. day at our house, several. times. per. day. Annalivia will be walking somewhere. Daniel will follow. She'll say, "I'm the leader today." He'll say, "No! I da leader!" and back and forth it will go in escalating decibels, "No! I'm the leader!" "NO! I DA LEADER!!" Daniel has no idea what it means -- he just realizes that he can bait his sister and enjoys the interaction. Probably needless to say, it all irritates the heck out of me.

Today the argument was near the back staircase and was ratcheting up and I was on the verge of yelling, "NEITHER of you is the leader today!" Then I heard Annalivia say, "Daniel, how about I'm the leader in the front and you can be the leader in the back?"

He said, ok.

What a compromise, eh?

Earliness

It's too early to be awake here and I've been awake for an hour, which makes it WAY too early to be awake. My blood sugar was low and my bladder was full but what finally propelled me out of bed was realizing that I hadn't felt an baby movement for a long time. I ate and waited. Nothing for about a half hour. Now she is kicking, squirming and testing the fullness of the previously emptied bladder.

For some reason I just can't sleep now. I tried to do some other things to make myself tired again. I am working on a crocheted dress for Annalivia and did a few rows on it before realizing that crochet wasn't helping me get sleepy again. This dress started out as a sweater for St. Patrick's day with some green and brown and grey and white tapestry yarn that was just really beautiful all knitted up in a fair isle pattern at the yarn store. Crocheted, it is not the same. It's pretty, but not what I wanted it to be. Annalivia was disappointed that the sweater was not pink, but was somewhat consoled by the thought of a dress, even if it green and brown and such. I keep considering just ripping it all out, but that would be kind of stupid as right now as it is between sweater length and dress length and involves a skein and a half of yarn. I think I'll just keep going. It might end up rather cool after all.

One of the big problems with sleeping, or rather...not sleeping, is that I'm involved in some extra-familial commitments that are consuming a lot of thought lately. I'm on the alumni board at the College and involved with several committees through it and have gotten myself into the position of dealing with survival strategy and politics and various other things. I think I am genetically pre-disposed to get into these positions, but I am realizing that I need to avoid them to great extent. I'm understanding that there's a reason that people advise mothers to concentrate on mothering first. The mental energy drain elsewhere is seductive, for me. But the 4 a.m. sleeplessness doesn't help anyone here at home.

In other, more interesting news, I am going to my sister's chiropractor on Friday to be adjusted and see if that helps the baby turn. With Annalivia, I went to the chiro monthly. I really think it helped her birth. It was fairly easy for a first, induced labor at 36 weeks -- 14 hours and 45 minutes of pushing. When I was prego with Daniel, I neglected the chiro. And y'all know my whiny story of his birth. And I've neglected the chiro during this pregnancy also. We'll see if some last-minute rescue helps. I've also got two appointments for an accupuncturist next week, if the baby still needs help turning. I've never done accupunture. I'm eager to see how it works.

AND in the best news of all -- Dennis and I are getting not one but TWO date nights this week! Last night, my aunt wanted to watch our children at Gramps' house. When we picked them up, they were fed, bathed and ready for bed. Tomorrow, Mom and Dad are watching them. We're going to go get Annalivia's birthday present and maybe get a Redbox movie. Can you tell we only believe in hot dates here? :)

And now I think I can sleep again. Thank goodness for blogging!

Still not in control

Today, I went to see my OB and had an ultrasound of Emmeliese. Everything is was actually looking pretty good. My blood pressure was 124/62. I'd lost four pounds from last week, which is good since I gained six all at once. I had experienced a lot of pain/ pressure this week and thought maybe little E was turning, but she's still a breech-baby. And the placenta looks ok, the cervix is still nice and thick, and I remembered to tell the doctor I'd eaten recently so urinalysis did not bring a bedrest sentence this week. That was a very good thing.

I asked my doctor about how a C-section works and got some good information about that. I love my doctor so much; she just sat there and talked with me, answered questions, gave me as much info as I needed, etc. I really, really appreciate that care.

I left the office with many of my previous questions having been addressed. But I also have an entirely different set of things to mull over. I am just simply not a person who can not-think about things and I don't think it is borrowing trouble to puzzle over as many possibilities as I can. I like to think it helps to, in the words of Miss Crawford of Mansfield Park, "prepare oneself for every eventuality." Of course, one can't really do that, but one can try.

In fact, what becomes clear in thinking about this pregnancy, past pregnancies, and possible future pregnancies, is that pregnancy is a constant process of having my arrogance revealed to me. I like to delude myself into thinking that if I make reasonably good choices, follow through with certain actions, etc., that I will reach a certain outcome. But it's not true.

I read once that there is an African proverb that being pregnant is like having one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel. It startled me. We priveleged Americans don't often think of the risky nature of bringing new beings into the world. And I find I depend on a lot of hubris to prop me up as I stand in that proverb's precarious position. But at some point, hubris is flimsy. It gives way. Then I am forced to realize where I stand.

The truth is, like all of life, almost everything is completely out of my control. For some reason, parenting, and in particular, pregnancy, is the most expedient teacher of that truth for me. The only thing left to do is the best thing -- pray. A heck of a lot. After all, being driven to one's knees is actually a much more stable position than having one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel.

Momma helps

I was really worried about giving the kids baths tonight. Dennis is on a short-notice business trip for a few days and he is usually in charge of baths. And I have been battling some pregnancy-related sciatic pain lately which, coupled with the long-term bone graft-related nerve pain, is sort of leaving me undone at the end of the evening. Yesterday I found out that leaning over the bathtub was exactly the wrong sort of activity for this particular pain combination and I spent most of the time after the kids were in bed laying around and moaning, though largely inaudibly.

Anyway, as you can tell, my story is very pitiful and today I was full of pity and worried about baths pretty much all day. THEN I realized that I live in the same town now with family and I could just call my mom who had called me earlier in the day to offer help in whatever way and ask for help with baths! And I did. And she came and helped me and then after the kids were in bed, stayed and talked for about an hour or so. The helping with baths and the talking would have been lovely enough, but when I came upstairs to go to bed, I saw that she had also turned down the sheets on my bed for me. It was such a simple gesture, but so sweet I almost cried.

Have I said before that I'm so glad I live here? I am. Thanks, Momma, for your help. What a Momma you are!

Breech baby

Today, I had a monthly checkup with the perinatologist and got to have an ultrasound of Emmeliese. The technician printed off a beautiful picture of her face and then I realized that she was scanning her face from the top of my belly. The little stinker has turned! Right now she is breech at 33.6 weeks and is running out of room to turn again. Honestly, I am not nervous about the surgery part of a C-section -- I kind of feel like an old pro at surgeries -- BUT I am terrified of the recovery from a C-section with 3 children to care for, 2 of whom really enjoy climbing on their mother. I know we'll deal with whatever we get, but I'm praying, "Turn, baby, turn!"

I got good news about my blood pressure which has been a problem at this point and to the end of the other two pregnancies. It was 120/72, which is fairly good. I started medication early in the pregnancy to keep it at the right level throughout and it is working. That's very good news.

I am having some troubling issues with my blood sugar, though. I get gestational diabetes right at the beginning of my pregnancies. I've been on insulin and have regulated it very well until this last week when I began running high numbers after meals (150-160 1 hour post-prand) and low numbers in between eating (i.e. 50-60 2 hours post-prand). My doctor in Dixon wants my numbers after meals under 130. And the lows are not good for the baby.

The perinatologist thinks the numbers indicate that the placenta is aging. Soooo... today, we talked plan and calendar. I am going to be getting twice-weekly NST's and biophysicals. And we are scheduling an amnio to test the baby's lungs for Feb. 26 or 27, at which point I will be 37 weeks. And if she is still breech, I will have the C-section in Peoria in the next days after that. OR, if she's not, I will be induced on Mar. 5, when my doc in Dixon will return from vacation.

While I'm not glad that there is anything worrisome going on, I am very glad to have a timeline in mind. And what is funny is that I have been thinking this baby's birthday would be Mar. 3 or Mar. 6 since we found out we were having a baby. I don't know if I shared here -- but Dennis called the birthdates of both of our other children. Annalivia's is 2/25/2005 and Daniel's is 2/7/2007. Easy days for their father to remember. I was very ticked off at him during Daniel's birth because I was induced on 2/5 and Daniel refused to be born until 2/7 and Dennis made the mistake of mentioning how he hoped Daniel would wait until the next day sometime in or around the 31st hour of labor. I told him he was absolutely, positively NOT allowed to make any requests whatsoever regarding Emmeliese's birthdate, but 3/3/09 or 3/6/09 would be nice for her father.

Anyway, that is the news! Just a few weeks to go!!!

My weird pregnancy craving

My weird pregnancy craving has hit again. I'm craving fish. And not really just any fish -- more specifically, fried fish. And even more specifically, I'm craving fried cod and walleye, preferably in a sandwich, and really only from Culver's restaurant.

This is a craving I have had during all three pregnancies, and only in the last month. It is weird because I don't usually like fish at all. Frying obviously helps fish, in my opinion, but I will admit that last week, I had it blackened at Red Lobster and the meal sort of scratched the itch. But the itch is really scratched with a good walleye sandwich at Culver's and they only bring those out at Lent around here. (Thank God all three pregnancies have been during Lent and it is quickly approaching again.) Another great thing about the sandwiches at Culver's, in addition to the fact that they taste really good to me, is that they are relatively inexpensive. And they're fast. And fairly readily available in the areas I travel.

I wonder why it is that I crave fish? Maybe I just need the DHA in the fish oil or the fatty acids or something. I have some cod liver oil in my refrigerator and I'm thinking I should take it because I literally could eat fish at breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

Anyone else have a weird or consistent craving during pregnancy?

Sibling rivalry

When Daniel was born, I was worried about Annalivia being jealous. I had read a lot about older siblings and I was concerned. At some point, I remember my mother cautioning me that it was quite possible Annalivia wouldn't be jealous at all and that I should be careful not to project jealousy upon her that may not be there.

It turned out that she was right. Annalivia adored Daniel from the beginning. She was a little flummoxed by his crying, but she got used to that pretty fast. And in the intervening time, she has become his biggest fan, fiercest protector, and most worthy opponent.

As they've both grown in the last two years, it has been neat to watch them together. They do fuss at each other sometimes. And sometimes they both take delight in causing as much discomfort to the other one as possible. Annalivia sometimes is very bossy. Daniel is sometimes very manipulative. And they compete over absolutely nothing i.e. "I'm the leader today!" "No! I the leader today!" when it is clear that I am, actually, the leader! :) But for the most part, they play so well together and really, genuinely, have a great time together as partners and equals.

This morning after breakfast, I was cleaning up dishes and they were holding hands running in a circle with each other. Daniel was imitating everything Annalivia was doing, which made her laugh hysterically. I headed upstairs and they followed, holding hands. For a moment, Annalivia dropped Daniel's hand to get something to take upstairs and Daniel said, "Livia! Come on!" His voice was anxious; he thought she was leaving him for some other play. She said, "I'm coming!" and ran up to him. Then He threw his arms around her waist and said, "Love you, Livia" and she kissed his head. It was wonderful.

I am so glad that my children are friends with each other. I pray that will continue. I know that the path will not be easy or smooth, but I love, love, love that they see each other, at least once a day, as a real gift. I hope they always are able to see each other that way, despite whatever else has occurred in their lives. Because their doing so is a real gift to me, too.

What one forgets

A couple of weeks ago, I felt Emmeliese moving much differently in the womb. Instead of feeling big flops and kicks, for the most part, I feel lots of stretching and pressing. I don't know why, but I never remember this point until I panic for a bit that the baby movement is decreasing. I wake up four or five times a night, having not felt her move and then remain wide awake until I feel a little foot in my diaphragm or an arm pressing a little more insistently into a bladder. When I think about it, I remember that the other children did this, too, when they got to this growth point. There just isn't enough room for a baby to do big dives any more. But it's always a little disconcerting in the interim.

I also forget how uncomfortable it gets to do simple things like sitting because there's always something pressing against internal organs. And I forget how small the bladder becomes and how a full cup of warm tea can agitate a little one into a bladder-punishing, tummy stretching free-for-all.

And I forget how amazing these last few weeks are -- how discomfort exists hand-in-hand with this incredible awareness of this little person growing inside. Or how energy can be rock-bottom, but a targeted surge can arrive on cue to sort baby clothes or organize a closet. Or how the Non Stress tests can seem so inconvenient but often reveals itself to be a little weekly or semi-weekly gift -- an opportunity to absorb the music of her hearbeat, relax, breathe and think about what comes next.

I'm glad that I'm remembering these things now. And I also am wondering what else I've forgotten!

As if on cue

Just today I was thinking about being pregnant with Annalivia and Daniel and how, right as I would lay/ lie down in bed and drift towards sleep, they would begin hiccupping. I was thinking how this hasn't happened with Emmeliese yet.
And so it was that at 11:30 tonight, I was awakened from that almost-asleep state by little rhythmic pulses, right under my hip and against my bladder. Precious child. Already perceiving her mother's desires...

Third trimester insomnia/ energy surges

I am at that odd point I've reached in each of my previous pregnancies when I have a lot of energy and a lot of fatigue, often at the same time. This morning, I was up at 5:15 a.m. thanks to a leg cramp, which I also get in the second and third trimester. But now that I'm awake, I can think of lots to do. The only thing that is keeping me in a darkened bedroom is the realization that if I leave this room or turn on the light, and Annalivia wakes up in the next 15 minutes, as she is wont to do, she won't go back to sleep and I'll have a very tired, fussy girl by noon. But my mind is racing and my body is willing to follow the brain for right now and engage. I should probably take advantage of it.

Later today (probably right around the time the kids actually wake up for good, Dennis reminds me), I will feel flat and worn out, ready to fall into a deep sleep at any moment. And that will occur in alternating periods of feeling like it's time to pack up the Christmas decorations singlehandedly and sort all of the old clothes and generally get the entire household in order. The good side of this mania is that the up and downs mean that occasionally I do get something done. Sometimes. And I'm ready to go to bed by 8 every evening.

I suppose I'm just preparing for the sleeplessness and exhaustion of those first months of a new baby. I forget what that's like, sometimes. I forget how one can be utterly worn out and at the same time, wanting to do something inane like organize all the pictures on one's computer. I don't suppose I'll actually remember fully until I'm there again. And hopefully, I'll forget again. That amnesia is what keeps the human race propogating, I think.

In the meantime, getting up early, going to bed early is a better pattern for toddlers and infants in this family than my usual inclination to stay up late, sleep late. So I'll try to remember that and make use of these weird energy surges and lags.

It's kind of amazing what our bodies and brains naturally do to prepare us/ preserve us in the midst of big things, isn't it? Reminder to self -- go with it.

For now, I think I'll try to get an hour more of sleep. That girl could be fussy, regardless.

Sad-ish realization

Tonight I returned home from being with Grammy and Gramps at the hospital since this morning to find a house that was mostly clean, happy and well-fed children, the smell of loads of clean laundry and the realization that my amazing and wonderful husband is a much better homemaker/ parent than I.

At least one of us excels! :)

On the morning side of night

It is 4:15 a.m. and I am up at an hour when I am usually, thankfully, sleeping. The stomach bug has proved to be a tough opponent for our little Daniel and he has spent the early morning hours of each of the last few days vomiting several times in succession, but only after we get him cleaned up from the previous time.

In the process of googling flu information (i.e. when to panic), I noticed that the temperature reading for Eureka, IL is -2 degrees farenheit. That's without windchill. And the wind is certainly whipping around right now. We had an ice storm a few days ago and the wind has been hurling ice chunks against the house. We apparently lost power for at least a bit during the night, as the electronics that start over are blinking and we suddenly had Christmas Adagios blaring from the radio at 2:30 a.m.

I have been having trouble getting to sleep lately. My mind is full of plans and wanna-do's. It occurs to me that I could just stay up and finish some projects. But, though I've had trouble falling asleep at night, I have no trouble wanting to sleep during the day, so this is probably a poor idea. I'll turn off the computer and the light and try to catch a little rest before the next probable interruption.

Cracked up open

When I was a mother to a precious little 7-month old baby girl who slept quite a lot and nursed quite a lot, smiled and laughed, and never, ever talked back, I remember reading a blog entry by a woman who was parenting 3 little ones. Her children were about 1.5-2 years apart and her youngest was just a baby. She was writing about how she felt as though her life was breaking open. That she was leaving the past behind and that somehow in this family-with-three children, an outward casing that she had always imagined was herself was being cracked and chipped away to reveal something she hadn't realized was her true being.

I had no idea what she was talking about.

Over the last three years, things have changed a bit. And now I, too, feel as though I am breaking open -- peeling and cracking and sloughing off what I have been to become this thing that I didn't see before and didn't know and yet, am, at the most real level. I don't know how to describe it in my own words except to say that I am at this parenting precipice that I have been approaching for a while -- a ledge off of which I have been leaning, slowly shifting more and more of my weight forward, to the extent that now I am quite certain that my center of gravity is before me, not behind me, and it is out of my control. I'm going over the ledge.

Behind me, lay my past life -- one that was largely self-centered and self-directed and self-controlled, to the extent that one can ever control one's life. That life was self-ordered by ideas I almost completely understood and was most certainly right about. It was my life -- mine, mine, mine. And what it was or wasn't was my creation --my credit, my fault, whatever -- mine. It may have been largely illusory, but it was my illusion! :)

Before me, off of this parenting precipice, is this life that I can't quite imagine. It feels like it is this completely real place compared to where I have been and that ownership of it just doesn't and won't ever belong to me. That life out there before me is largely one of sacrifice and service. It is other-centered. And from this place, I don't know how to create it. I don't know how to manage it. It is something I don't understand and can't grasp and know that I have no ability to navigate on my own. It feels as though "out there" is where the Spirit is, though. And so that's where I need to be.

Over the last three years, I have seen this precipice approaching and I've been terrified of it. In many ways, because I can't see it, I am scared of it. But I have a sense that when I let go of whatever life (or death) line it is to which I am clinging from the old life, I will have a choice to either fall into the new life and as I fall, see this great beyond as some sort of void -- dangerous and scary and overwhelming and thus, be resentful of the lack of control. Or, and obviously this is the better choice -- I will have a choice to jump forth in faith and allow myself to be caught up in a wave of grace which I know -- I know, I know, I know -- will buoy me with wisdom and resources and guidance. I have this sense that the wave is not only there, but if I choose to ride it, that I will feel a joy and freedom that I've longed for all the while slogging through the life up above the cliff. But it won't be of my own making. And it is just a matter of whether I will have faith enough to trust it.

So. Did any of you other moms out there feel like this at some point? Is there just a point when you crack up, or open, or take the leap, or don't?

Things learned during illness

• It is unwise to mention out loud to one's sister that one's family has been remarkably devoid of the stomach flu for the last four years. It's basically writing out an invitation that reads something like this... "Dear stomach flu... Please, please, please come visit. All of us. All at once. And asap. Bring all the baggage you can carry. Looking forward to it. Love, April P.S. Dennis' birthday is later this week and I have big plans. We'll have the guest room made up by then!"

• I married a saint. He's also a hero and an angel, not to mention, a truly excellent chief, cook and bottle-washer (and yes, I intentionally made that phrase into three jobs). Well, maybe he has a ways to go with the "cook" part of the job description, but really... Dennis is totally the cog that makes the wheel of this family function. He has changed beds, changed and bathed and comforted and cradled kids, coddled me, done load-upon-load-upon-load of laundry, fed us -- but only what we requested, made trips to various stores, played, sang.... all while feeling terrible himself and missing a decent birthday celebration because of his own illness. The man is simply amazing. And he's ours.
• The smell of laundry being washed in the basement of this house makes the whole house smell fresh and clean. Which is really saying something when all four of the residents have the flu.
• At a certain point, it is impossible to fool one's children into thinking that Pedialyte is really apple juice. Even the young, gullible one.
• When one hasn't eaten for a day or so, saltines and ginger ale make a meal as delicious as any cordon-bleu cuisine.
• If I ever have the opportunity to design or radically remodel a bathroom, I will seriously consider covering the entire thing in tile, putting a drain in the floor, and making all storage units, lighting, etc. completely waterproof so as to be able to basically hose down the place at any moment.
• There are advantages to being sick -- lots of rest, thank you, Lord (and Dennis) -- the sheets all get cleaned -- the bathrooms get bleached -- cooking is pretty much optional as no one cares what dinner is going to be. The advantages, however, do not outweigh the disadvantages. I look forward to being well for a long time.

Ann speaks truth. Again.

Mommas, read this. God bless you, Ann.