Ouch.

I managed to fall down the stairs at our house today. The inside stairs. I was still wearing my tights after church and my foot slid off the edge of the stair in one of the spots where the wood has been worn nice and smooth. Luckily, I only fell down three stairs, but I banged my broken wrist on the radiator, slammed my other wrist and ankle into the bannister and hit my back hard enough on the stairs to knock the wind out of me. And I scared the heck out of Dennis and Annalivia.

To say that I hurt right now would be a massive understatement. I had planned to spend the rest of the day in a frenzy of pre-Christmas prep, finishing handmade presents, getting the house picked up and thoroughly dusted, etc. But that didn't happen. And may not for a few days. It seems as though the universe keeps aligning to tell me to just let Christmas be what it will be. I think today I pretty effectively got the message. I'm not sure the delivery had to be so jarring, but it worked. I'm revising downward. Really, Universe. No need for any more intervention.

Sure-footedness

I am abnormally paranoid about falling in the winter. It has always been one of my great fears, but then my arm was broken in a car accident and never healed and in one of my last appointments, the doctor said something helpful like, "Well, you can live with it, as long as it doesn't cause excruciating pain until it breaks again, which it will when it is hit or you fall or it takes some sort of trauma..." Add a pregnancy and my anxiety level regarding being outside in the winter is through the roof.

But, enter now these wonderful contraptions Annalivia is modeling on my shoes -- the YakTrax. My sister Lil got these for running in the winter and bought my mom a pair after mom slipped on the ice last year. They both swear by them, so I got some. And they are amazing. I walked home from church yesterday night on icy sidewalks with no salt and did not feel my feet even falter. They go a long, long way to quell my winter falling-fears. Not all the way, but a long way.

If you share my paranoia, the YakTrax are $19.99 at Gander Mountain or Dick's Sporting Goods and even less expensive through various internet sites. And seriously, they are worth every single penny.

The day we lived

Today is the the two-year anniversary of the auto accident that changed our lives. So much has happened in the years since that day. Surgeries, and therapies, Daniel's birth, another pregnancy, job changes, the alleviation of debt, a move...

Two years later, our lives are totally different, thanks, in large part, to the events set about on that day. On this day, I am so thankful for all that has occurred in the intervening months.

But most of all, today, I am profoundly grateful that on this day, Dennis and Daniel and I lived.

Gifts

This week, Dennis and I received the check from our accident back in 2006. We deposited it and began the 10 day waiting period while the bank makes sure we are not terrorists. When the check clears, we'll pay off all of our debts, set aside a six-month emergency fund and invest a whole bunch. We might also go out to dinner. Maybe.

Back when we realized that someday we would receive a settlement check, we immediately decided the first 10% would go to God. Since it is our belief that it is because of God's miraculous intervention that we are alive in the first place, this makes complete and total sense to us. I know many of you out there would agree.

Today, I told our board chair that we are giving a portion of the money to the church. We want this money to be used, but we don't want to tell them how to use it. We'd like them to pray about that and figure it out on their own. It's kind of an odd thing to communicate -- take this, use it, but we aren't going to tell you how. Just be as faithful as you can. No pressure.

We also decided that I am done being paid by the congregation. Technically, I have two more paychecks left here, but I'm requesting that they keep the money. Convincing the treasurer that she should not write them out to me anyway and then have me give back the money, will take a little doing. I don't want to be taxed for it, and pay my 15.3% social security on it, after all. We'll see how that discussion goes.

It is nice to be able to give something to this congregation on the way out, when they will not be beholden to us in how they choose to use the money. It is nice to be able to communicate through what I have come to believe is their love language -- the budget-- that they are important to us. I hope these gifts convey the gratitude and appreciation I have for these last seven years.

Resolution

Our appointment with our lawyer went well. Incredibly well. Miraculously, amazingly, astonishingly well. We are kind of on a high here from which we may not come down anytime soon. Almost two years after the accident, this thing is almost over. Wow.

Owwww.

Yesterday morning before ballet clahss, I was at the dairy getting some lovely fresh milk and I tripped over a large rock and managed to fall flat on my face while carrying a gallon glass jar of milk to the car. I was hurrying and not paying attention to the big ol' rock that the dairy owners use to prop open the milk shed door. I fell hard, knocking the glasses off my face and scraped up my knees and elbows. I'm very, very thankful that I was carrying the milk (which did not break, by the way) because I did not have time to drop it and put my hands out to catch myself. I'm pretty certain I would have broken again my already-broken right wrist that is being held together with screws and plates. Thank God for LARGE favors!

Yesterday afternoon and this morning, I did not feel too bad. But this afternoon.... uuuuuggggghhhhh! And.... owwwwwwwww. Everything hurts. I feel like going to bed and staying there for the next few days.

Is there a point in one's life where one doesn't make a fool of oneself, imperiling life and limb?

If so, I think I may be past it.

The BIG, GIANT, HUGE, ENORMOUS news

I have spent the day today calling people to tell them that I am resigning as their pastor today.

I know that's not the conventional way to do it, but I also know that sending a letter first to this congregation who really is more like family would be a terrible way to announce this departure. They'll get the letter on Sunday.

In the meantime, I've talked to almost every regular attendee. I tried to visit face-to-face with some folks who have been very important to me. The others have gotten a phone call and an apology that I'm not there in person to tell them.

I kind of hate to admit this, but I am surprised -- almost shocked -- to find out that people are really, really going to miss me! I look back over the last seven years, and it is the gaping holes that are most obvious, the places where I could-have or should-have. I am glad that they have reminded me of the places where I have. Thank God that they were paying attention.

The reason I am resigning is primarily because Dennis has accepted a position as an engineer in Morton, IL. It is an incredible position at a company with a secure future, or, at least, as secure as one can find in the current manufacturing climate. And they have been very, very generous with him.

I am very excited, especially, because their generosity means that I will get to stay home with the kiddos. I have known since they were born that mothering them was my greatest calling. I am very, very, very grateful that I am going to be able to mother them in this new way -- with no sermons to research, no office to visit or not-visit, no congregants to rush off and pastor.

The most wonderful thing is that we know, we know that all of this is exactly what we need to do. It is clear to us that God has provided this way for us. In fact, it has happened in an almost magical way -- divine, really! :) We were not looking to leave and had actually talked to Dennis' mom about staying here and buying property from her and living out there. Then Dennis got a call from a headhunter and the guy had this position in mind for him.

Dennis had an informal interview with the engineering manager who called the headhunter back and told him that she was sure that the company wanted Dennis. The headhunter gave her a salary figure that was just kind of amazing to us and when she balked at it, he told her that Dennis was very worth it.

The company called him back for another interview and it went very well. He was there for a looooonnnnngggg time. It was only 45 minutes after the interview that the company called and offered Dennis the job at the amazing number! I don't think we could have asked for it to happen in a cooler way!

And since then, and really, before that, everything has just been laid out before us in the most amazing ways. We have had some other miraculous financial news and we are just astonished at the events at hand! In 90-ish days, my husband will be working at a job that will obviously value him and his experience and knowledge, I will be home with my kiddos, we will be living in Eureka, we will have all our debts paid, we'll have a six month emergency fund, and we'll have a very, very substantial savings for the future. It will be a whole new life! Resurrection, really.

I am just so amazed, awed and humbled at how God has answered and is answering so many of our prayers. And I am reminded of the thousands of times I have worried and fretted. What have I to fear, really? I need to remember that He is good to His people.

I may have to tattoo that on my forehead.

And those of you who have told me that all would be well have permission to tell me "I told you so."

But only once. :)

There is a balm...

...and it might be on the internet. Thanks so much, all of you -- those who commented, emailed or called re: my last post.

I met with the folks in this family who are members of the congregation today. It was a good visit. We had lots of conversation, lots of laughter. I've apologized directly to those who are most hurt -- not church members -- but still part of the family. I feel as though I have done what I can. I've realized through talking with some of you that part of my guilt is misplaced. Part of it isn't, but I appreciate your wisdom and willingness to speak truth in love.

In other news -- we found out that the insurance company of the woman who hit us back in Sept'06 has agreed to pay us the full limits of her policy coverage. This is huge! And it means that the lawsuit could perhaps be resolved in the next month or two or three. I am praying for it to be resolved sooner rather than later, but y'all know me -- I'm impatient. :) It is very good news, though, and I'm grateful for it, grateful for this day and how things have gone, grateful for all of you out there. Thanks, friends.

New skin

Yesterday, I went to the doctor's office to get my cast off, or so I thought. It has been a whole two months since I got it put on. I thought perhaps it was time to let my arm see the sun again and go through its two-month-of-no-exfoliation molting routine.

Alas, no such luck.

I came home with a new, slightly longer, much tighter cast. Where before I've chosen subdued white and black for my casts, this one is bright red. I'll go back on Dec. 10 to, hopefully, get it removed. But if not, I've requested sparkly gold -- doesn't someone make a fiberglass shot through with lurex yet? I was thinking I could use it for the Christmas pageant at church and we wouldn't even have to get a star -- I'd just hold up my sparkly arm and awe the folks.

Anyway, I was slightly punky, but when I got home, I found that which my mom calls, "skin for your back." That term originated with my grandmother, Ga, who cared for my mother when she was a child and scraped her back. Ga would bring Mom little treats and call it "skin for your back."

The new skin awaiting me yesterday was a treat from us to us in the form of our new camera. We got a Nikon D40x. We are excited. Today, I spent a lot of time playing with the 50mm lens. I got very few good photos -- as you can see, most are out of focus and over or underexposed --but I am learning fun things.

And then Mom called and she's sending some fun skin to me sometime soon. It's something I've wanted, and needed, I think, for a long time. I'll have to post photos when it arrives.

So -- on one hand, the cast -- on the other, new skin. I'll admit, it certainly softens any blow from my red Santa cast.

Snippets.

• Daniel has graduated out of the travel system car seat. That means he weighs 22 lbs. He is a CHUNK. It's crazy how different he is from Annalivia. He is in 12-18 month clothes as he approaches his 9 month birthday. Annalivia was wearing 12-18 month clothing when she was 2 years old. Annalivia was always a 50th percentile child and for girls that's less than boys. Daniel has been at the 75th percentile and he's right on track, I guess. He seems huge. But maybe that's just because I tote him around.
• The farm that Dennis and I have coveted for almost 5 years went on the market this weekend. We have an appointment to see it on Saturday. If it is to be ours, a number of truly miraculous events will need to occur. We'll see how it all unfolds.
• We had a great visit from Annalivia's godfather, Jimmy, this weekend. It was lovely to see him.
• I preached a terrible sermon while Jimmy was at church. There were many mitigating factors, but it just stunk big homiletic doo-doo. One of my favorite parishioners came up to me afterwards and gushed on about how great it was. Then she called me today and talked to me again about how much it helped her and spoke to several circumstances in her life. I'm so grateful that God works. Even when I don't.
• Flylady and I are friends again. I'm sort of doing what she tells me to do. Whenever I do that, life goes so much better. I should just listen to her all the time.
• My childhood best friend and her husband, one of my dearests from seminary, and their family, are moving to the twin city across the river from me. He is going to be the associate at the Disciples church over there. I'm excited. Friends! Here! Less than 3 hours away! I'm giddy with excitement.
• I thought Annalivia was getting better at sharing things with other kids. She had done REALLY well at some different public places sharing toys and, um... intellectual property. But today I had some blood drawn at a clinic in Dixon where they have one of those intricate bead toys attached to a table and when we were leaving, she ran over to it and pushed a child who was considerably younger than she was who dared approach it. The mother looked like she was about to slap Annalivia so I grabbed her and apologized profusely while moving quickly towards the elevator. Luckily someone was holding the door so we had a pretty fast getaway.
• Today while hanging out at our favorite bookstore, Books on First, in Dixon, a place we go at least once a week which is entirely too often, I found out that Dixon has a free concert series put on by the Episcopal church called The Canterbury Concerts (I love those Episcopalians and their gift for naming.) I also found out that our area has a community concert association and we can pay for a subscription and get tickets to some very cool concerts. Last year, Eileen Ivers was one of the featured guests. I think we'll try to subscribe next season. I'm so heartened to find out, after 7 years of living here, that there is some underground cultural opportunities. Lovely.
• Today I got to meet Andrea for the first time! Our husbands drive to work together, so we probably should have met in person long ago, but we met first via blogs. Andrea is young and gorgeous and has a very handsome husband and beautiful, probably very well-behaved, children. (right, Andrea?) Her children were so sweet and her blog has a precious picture of them.
• We met Andrea when we all happened to be at Woods' annual Halloween thing for the kids of employees. This is the first year that we made the trip. Annalivia did pretty well saying, "Trick or treat, please." But not so well with, "thank you," "hello," "I'm fine, thank you," or any of the other social niceties. Daniel was just pretty happy, which was good.
• On the way home, I got to drive the van by myself and Dennis took the kids in the truck. 35 minutes of me-time. I spent most of it talking to Dad. It was lovely.
• We are now into week 4 of no television at our house. It is interesting how my desire for media has diminished to almost nothing. I used to be an information junkie -- on the internet a lot, listening to NPR constantly in the car. Now I get online in the morning, sometimes, to check email and then when the kids go to sleep. I do my blog-jog, but don't comment usually because it takes too long. So apologies to Heather, Amalee, Jan, Jill, Amy, Amy and Jim, Andrea, Kalin, More Cows, other Andrea, Dusty, Geoff and Holly. Among others. I read; really, I do. Keep writing.
• Even though I watch no television and spend less than an hour on the computer, I never get to read. How do you folks with 20 children find time to read? I need to know the secret.

Edited to add: The arm is better (thanks, Julie, for asking). I have a short cast on it and will, hopefully get it off on Nov. 7. The bone graft site is not so good. I still have burning, aching, shooting, prickling, any-other-sort-of-adjective pain every time I walk or stand for more than 2 minutes. I hobble around a lot, but I am choosing to believe that it will all be ok in the end. I'm alive. That's what this has kept in constant focus for me. I'm alive to enjoy my family. And that's more than enough.

Still there?

I want to offer apologies to those of you who still come by daily to check on the world of the McStews.

First, I want you to know that I appreciate so much your undeserved loyalty.

Second, I feel like I owe a bit of an explanation to those who've not seen or talked to me recently. Thing is -- this bone graft has kind of knocked me down. Literally. I've had some complications at the harvesting site on my hipbone and consequently have some pretty deep nerve pain in my leg that makes it hurt to walk, sit, limp about -- do much of anything, really. Further, I have a long-arm cast on my wrist that allows for almost no rotation in my arm so typing is a bit of a job and should be reserved for bulletins/ sermons, etc. Finally, I am trying to be not-the-worst-parent-in-the-world right now as I find that my normally thin patience is about non-existent, and my patience and parental effectiveness is just not helped by internet time when the kids are awake. And my healing is not helped by internet time when the kiddos finally get to bed.

Third, I wish I could offer promises that posting and updates will be more frequent. But I can't. There is so much that is bloggable right now in life -- so much I want to remember some day. It bugs me to not document it somehow

So. There y'are. My excuses/ explanations.

Again, thanks for stopping by. Y'all are appreciated. Really.

Finally fall

It is has been a slow recovery here from this last surgery. A cumbersome cast means few posts, but also means we get helpers visiting us and making life much better. My sistah, Lil, came up with her kiddos one day. Sistah, Roo, was here on her birthday to help and let me sleep most of the morning. Grandpa Bob is here right now and Great-grandpa Kaywin just went home this afternoon. But before he went home, we had a little fun outside in the fall weather.

Annalivia had a great time performing for Gramps.

She especially enjoyed playing house with Arnold and sending him down the slide.

Daniel had a pretty good time on the swingset.

His particular enjoyment was this delicious belt buckle.

Under the knife again

Tomorrow at 4 a.m., Dennis and I will leave for Rockford Memorial Hospital where I will undergo the, hopefully, last procedure on my wrist from the accident that occurred almost a year ago.

The procedure will be an iliac crest bone graft. The surgeons will take a 2x3 inch piece of my iliac crest ("hip bone" for we lay persons), will remove the antibiotic beads currently hanging out in my wrist and will reconstruct the 17 breaks with pins, titanium plates and pieces of the harvested bone.

After that, I'll be in a splint for 10 days and then a long-arm cast to prevent rotation for 6 weeks. But, hopefully, (please, please, please, PLEASE, God) I will be on the road to recovery. Because the next option would be a bone replacement with a steel rod. And I don't even get a hook if I have to do that.

So. I won't be blogging for a while, though I might invite a guest in occasionally. Or a peon to transcribe for me as I dictate.

And, of course, prayers for my poor wrist and my longsuffering husband and children would be thankfully received.

Today

Today was a fruitful day. In McStew-speak, that means we all got dressed and got out of the house. It's the little things that thrill us here.

This morning, Annalivia, Daniel and I ate breakfast at the table together. That was fun and sort of new for us. We usually eat breakfast in shifts. But I think we're going to try this more often. Daniel and Annalivia do lots of laughing at each other when we are all at the table. And once we firmly establish that Annalivia is not allowed to have Daniel's baby bananas until he is done with them, we're good to go.

We went grocery shopping at several different stores today and Annalivia had great behavior. She had chosen to wear a pale green Sunday dress today and I let her. She also decided to carry around with her a pink stuffed bunny rabbit that was mine when I was little. So lots of people smiled upon her and she responded graciously. Daniel was also in a pretty good mood in his baby pouch which always enthralls strangers. We had lots of people smiling upon all of us today in the stores, actually. That was sort of nice.

In the process of all that, I think I ditched a plumber who was giving the church a quote. I got stuck in traffic on my way back to church and, I think, made an erroneous assumption in my eagerness to get home and not drag children out into the rain. This wouldn't be a big deal, except that I didn't really divulge my part of the mistake to parishioner coordinating the whole effort and the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it could have seemed like I tried to swindle the parishioner. The guy is a good guy and very understanding, so I'll explain tomorrow, but it was one of those times when a long and drawn out dawning-realization reveals something negative about one's own actions. Not so much fun.

Anyway, it was good to get home from shopping and upon arriving home, I attempted to unpack groceries. A little while later, it occurred to me that I had not put the package of bacon I had purchased in the refrigerator. Annalivia had been, ahem, standing on it, so I asked her where it was and she said, "maybe in van." No, I assured her, it was not in the van. I asked her if she had taken it somewhere and she ran into her bedroom to show me the bacon chillaxin' with her stuffed animals in her toybox. Odd child.

So, bacon recovered, I proceeded to cook it up for BLT's with the anonymous tomatoes that were waiting on our porch the other day when we returned from some miscellaneous errand or other. We also had German potato salad, since we had bacon fat sitting around. It was all delicious, if I do say so myself. But we did not have enough bacon for lunch tomorrow so we have been forced to cook up another pound this evening. Our lives are hard.

And in other news -- we met with and hired a lawyer this evening to handle our personal injury cases from the accident. We both realized we couldn't possibly figure out our way around the settlement process, so it should feel like a relief, but we're both feeling a little flattened by it all. Not sure why, but we are grateful for the fact that someone else will deal with it from now on. And since we are paying them a lot, we're assuming they'll do a fine job. We hope.

And on that note -- to bed! Hope all is well out there in your worlds, blog friends. Good night.

No sympathy

Tonight as I was showering with one arm held over my head, wrapped in a plastic bag and feeling a little perturbed by the whole endless saga, I remembered how, right after the accident, I was talking to the insurance agent assigned to our case on the phone. He was asking me some questions and I was trying to rifle through papers to find the info, one-handed, of course. I apologized for the time it was taking and said something like, "It's hard to do this stuff with only one hand."

To which the lovely man replied, "I understand. I actually have only one arm, myself."

Cast-igated

One of the ongoing problems resulting from our September accident has been difficulty using our ankles that were sprained. Because they are lower extremity sprains, and really bad to begin with, they have been very slow to heal. What this means is that some days, it is very hard to walk or climb stairs or do much movement at all. It is further compounded when we favor the sore ankle and thus cause stress to the other foot or knees or even hips. (We're incredibly pitiful, can you tell?) And probably the biggest thing working against the healing of these joints is that we're, well -- no need to sugarcoat it -- massively huge individuals.

This has created a vicious process. The more we sit around, the more huge we get. The more huge we get, the more we sit around. Fun times.

This week, however, I had a glimmer of hope when a friend suggested to me that we get into water aerobics or swimming. I have never been able to do any sport in my life, but swimming -- well I was actually passable. And I love it.

So I checked into various programs and found that though our local Y is pretty expensive for a family membership, they offer a child care service during one of the water fitness classes and again at times when Dennis could swim. It would be worth it, if we'd use it.

I was excited. I was all ready to get us signed up this afternoon.

Until the glaring obstacle occured to me that anyone who has seen me in the past month or has read this blog would readily recognize. I have a huge, freakin' fiberglass cast on my arm! And that might, maybe, just a little, impede water activities like, oh, say... swimming, water aerobics or, as I experience every day... showering.

So. Setback. But at least there's an option for the future. That helps a little.

Encouraging report

Yesterday I went up to Rockford for a post op visit and to review the pathology report on the bone that Dr. K removed on Tuesday. Turns out that there was no infection in that sample! That could be perhaps because that particular sample was not infected, or it could be that the bone is not healing because of a "fibrous non-union" meaning that there is tissue impeding the bone growth.

Whatever it is, it meant that I was able to have the splint removed yesterday and I am now in a cast that allows movement of my fingers and elbow. This is a huge help because my fingers and hand were very swollen and painful. Being able to move them has reduced the swelling and it is almost back to normal. Further, the doc said that I can go ahead and pick up my children and that it would hurt, but I would not be doing any damage to it. So that is good, too.

The best news, though, is that I am to stay on my mega doses of antibiotics for at least two weeks and then I am to have another blood serum drawn. If things look good, it is possible that they could proceed with the bone graft in the next couple weeks as opposed to after a couple months of antibiotics. Which means this whole thing could be over sooner rather than later.

So. Obviously I can type and I'm pleased about that, though it is cumbersome and rather painful, so I probably won't do much of it. Knowing me, I'll save my finger energy for truly frivolous stuff rather than the bulletin and sermons and such.

The family is all doing well. I am so blessed to have a family who just arrives when needed. It's lovely.

Anyway, thanks for all of the well-wishes. I'll respond to y'all soon.

All is well

The surgery went fine. Now it hurts, but will get better.

Dad was here and has handed off to Gramps. Dad took Annalivia for long, long walk everyday. Gramps is playing with her in the basement. She's in heaven with these playmates.

It's hard to post, so I probably won't or will leave it to Dennis.

Crunch time

It is a lovely morning here in northern Illinois. It is softly raining and a little chilly out and all the windows are open so I can hear the birds who are singing loudly. And since it is raining and has been raining, I don't hear the Harleys that usually plague our town on a summer Saturday.

Dennis has taken the kids over to his brother's house to play with their Stewart cousins and see his other brother and his family. The other brother's family lives in Wisconsin and we've not seen them for a couple of months.

I am ducking out of festivities in favor of trying to get some work done before the surgery on Tuesday. I made a bunch of casseroles for the freezer last night and will make some burritos and lasagna and meatloaf to freeze today. I also am trying to start and finish bulletins for a month, since it has occurred to me that I won't be able to type. Again. So I'll need to get the liturgies written ahead of time and sermons in some sort of rough outline. And we are also trying to work on getting the house a bit more organized. We'd like our live-in help next week (i.e. Dad and Gramps) to be able to navigate the basement where the spare bed is without threat of bodily injury. Or at least, with minimal threat.

It has occurred to me that this is the kind of preparation one does before one has a baby. Only one usually has more than a week to do it. And one probably doesn't attempt to do it all. Unless that one is me.

So. Clearly, I should be doing something other than blogging, so I shall. Happy Saturday.

Bone blues

We had an appointment at the orthopedic surgeon in Rockford today to discuss results of a nuclear medicine bone scan that I had last week. My ulnar bone is not healing and apparently shows signs of infection. SO... on Tuesday of next week, June 26, I will be going to Rockford Memorial for surgery. They will open up the wrist again and remove the $25,000 of hardware in there now and then put little antibiotic beads between the bone (oh -- and scrape out all the infection --ick). Then they'll sew me up, splint my wrist, and the plan is that I'll get to go home that evening. They are then going to give me two very strong oral antibiotics which will hopefully knock out any remaining infection. I'll have an appointment about 72 hours after the surgery and they will put on a cast, I think. Then 6-8 weeks from now, I'll have another surgery where they will do a bone graft and put in new $25,000 titanium plates. And another splint. Then another cast.

Fun times. The State Farm insurance used by the chica who hit us is SO going to pay for this.

Anyway, I am anxious to get this whole thing done with already. I am tired of my wrist hurting and tired of not being able to settle with the insurance company and tired of driving to Rockford to wait for hours to be able to talk to my very competent, though humorless doctor (when I jokingly inquired as to whether it was possible that I could get a hook out of this, he said, "No, no! You'll keep your hand!" Um, yeah, thanks. Hadn't figured that out, Dr. K.)

I'm not so much nervous about the surgery as the splint. It will go over my elbow and hold my wrist so that it cannot rotate. After surgery, it was impossible to pick up Annalivia and I don't know how in the world I'd be able to hold Daniel, but I'm sure I'll figure something out. And showering with a bag for the next 3 months doesn't sound fun, either. But I guess it has to be done.

So. There's the update. More later.